Over To You

	Stephen plays Colin Essdale, a drama producer, Hugh 
	plays a complaining woman called Mary Barratt. The 
	presenter is called Elspeth.


Hugh		Well I thought it was disgusting. The whole thing
		was disgusting.

Elspeth		Yes, did ...

Hugh		There was no warning of what was in store, none
		whatever ...

Elspeth		To be fair, the ...

Hugh		And for goodness sake what about my children?
		No thought was given to this at all.

Elspeth		Did your children see the ... ?

Hugh		No they didn't. They didn't see it. But only thanks
		to the purest good fortune that they don't happen
		to have been born yet, otherwise I dread to think
		what damage may have been caused. It was simply
		disgusting.

Elspeth		Yes, the ...

Hugh		Simply disgusting.

	Pause. Elspeth thinks that Hugh has stopped.

Elspeth		Turning to you Mr ...

Hugh		Simply disgusting.

Elspeth		Mm. Colin Essdale, as the producer, what do ... ?

Stephen		(Nodding caringly) Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. This is
		obviously difficult ... mm ... perhaps it would
		help if I explained that I couldn't give a flying toss
		about Mrs Barratt or her feeble views.

Elspeth		Er, well the ...

Hugh		I beg your pardon?

Stephen		Now, if you don't mind, or even if you do ... I
		have only an estimated 45 years left on this planet
		and I don't propose to waste a further second of
		them talking to a confused old gasbag like you.

Elspeth		Well, on the other hand ...

Stephen		(Unhooks tie-mike a la John Nott) So, I'm off to
		see a colleague about making a programme which I
		fully hope will irritate you and your half-wit friends
		even more than the last one. Bye!

	Exit Stephen.

Elspeth		So, Mrs Barratt are you satisfied with what
		you've heard?

Hugh		Well not really, no.

Elspeth		Tough. (Shouting off) A last word from you,
		Mr Essdale?

	Stephen re-enters with drink.

Stephen		Pim-hole.

Hugh		The people of Berlin are doing
		very exciting things with the city
		at the moment. Basically they
		had the idea of just knocking it
		through into one.