The Laws of Anime is a growning list of physical, universal and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. Due to the rather dynamikc nature of Anime Science, theories and paradigms are generally in a state of constant flux, often shifting or changing with the tide of whimsy, By no means all-inclusive and sometimes not even remotely instructive, the following is an enumerated list of semi-empirical islands in an ocean of conjecture. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the veryy least, worth a good chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Deifferentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown or otherwise rendered airvorne, gravity is reduced by a factor of four.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobiliy, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the fatser it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed, and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality

Good guys and bad guys both die in one of two ways: either so quick they don't even see it coming, or in a long drawn-out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#8 - Second Law if Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die, regardless of physical damage. Even when the bad guys are killed so quickly that they don't see it coming, it takes them a while to realize that they're dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10 - Law of Dramatic Multiplcity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a good guy kicks the bad guy in the face, are seen at least three times from three different angles.

#11 - Law of Inherent Combustibility

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary-

Anything that explodes will bulge first.

Second Corollary-

Large cities are the most explosive substances known to man. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12 - Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13 - Law of Energetic Emission

There is always an energy build-up (commonly referred to as a bulge) before Mecha or spacecraft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is relared to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14 - Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.

First Corollary -

Small and cute will always over come big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15 - Law of Inexhaustability

No one ever runs out of ammunition. That is, of course, unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed and/or unconscious. Also used for dramatic effect, or when they are about to die a long, drawn-out death.

#16 - Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a good guy, when operating any form of weaponry, increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of bad guys decreases as the difficulty of the shot decreases. Example: A good guy in a drunken stupor being help upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, while several battalions of bad guys firing on a good guy standing alone in an open field will alwyas miss, especially with guided missiles.

First Corollary -

The more bad guys there are, the less likely they will hit anything or do any real damage.

Second Corollary -

Whenever a good guy is faced wit insurmountable odds, the bad guys line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with one single burst of fire (or swing of his sword) and then escape.

Third Corollary -

Whenever a good guy is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated good guy area. This is usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts him/her from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

Fourth Corollary - (added by Moonstarr)

When a good guy is hurt, the pain moves him to do an extreme move, increases his accuracy or power, or otherwise empower him. Their new power is greater with greater wounds. When a bad guy is hurt, he is rendnered incapable of further action and forced to either cry or run around in hysterics. Their infantile antics are worse as the wound is lesser.

#17 - Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability Minmei is a bimbo.

#18 - Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contain 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19 - Law of Demonic Contistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, and can only be woulnded by bladed weapons.

#20 - Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge, galaxy-like armadas, entire armies and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song (or a small group of heroes, children, single opponent or other unimportant/lesser character).

First Corollary -

(from Adam Barnes)

Whenever a singer war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21 - Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't...

First Corollary -

Whenever a tactician is present, his ideas will be bested by those of a child, naive hero or otherwise inferior character. (by Moonstarr)

#22 - Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice thelittle things... like missing body parts or wounds the size of Settle.

#23 - Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying.

#24 - Law of Americanthropomorphism

American in Anime appear in one of two roles: either as a really nasty skinny bad guy or a big stupid good guy.

First Corollary -

The only people dumber than the big dumb Americans are the American translators.

Second Corollary -

The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

#25 - Law of Mandibular Proportionality

(from A. Hicks, U. Williams and Ben Leinweber)

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional tothe volume at which they are eating or speaking.

#26 Law of Feline Mutation-

(from A. Hicks)

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

1) be female

2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation. (or appear with them in certain circumstances)

3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27 - Law of Conservation of Firepower

(from U. Williams)

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#28 - Law of Technological User-Benevolence

(from U. Wiliams)

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29 - Law of Melee Luminescence

(U. Williams)

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for good guys and red for bad guys. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30 - Law of Non-Anthromorphic antagonism

(U. Williams)

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31 - Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability

(from Spellweaver)

Any color in the visible color spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32 - Law of Follicular Parmanence

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons: bladed weapons!

First Corollary (Resultant Agitation)-

(By Moonstarr)

If hair, especially female or pretty-boy hair, is damaged in the slightest, said character is set into a beserker rage in order to exact their revenge. Any scene in which hair is cut (especially a few spare strands between powerful characters) shall be displayed in slow motion, close-up and even several times. An air of awe is to be inexplicably generated.

#33 - Law of Topological Aerodynamics

*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

#34 - Law of Probable Attire

(from various sources)

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whter it is socially or meterologically appropriate. Any female with an excesive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no reason (alos known as 'the gratuitous shower scene'). Whenever there is a headwind, male characters (or magic-users of any gender)invariably wear long cloaks that don't hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.

First Crollary (Cryo-Adaptability)-

All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Secons Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)-

(from Nyctomania)

Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

#35 -Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent is automatically capable of doing much more simple things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, an so on...especially if they have never attempted these things before.

#36 - Law of Quintupular Agglutination

(from Daniel Mikula)

Also called "The Five-man rule". When good guys group together, it tends to be in groups of five(or build up/break down to five before the main story). There are five basic positions, which are:

1) The hero or leader

2) His girlfriend (in some manner, even eventual)

3) His best friend or rival

4) A hulking brute

5) A dwarf or kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

1) Extreme coolness

2) Amazing intelligent

3) Increadible Irritation

#37 - Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

(from Jason Bustard)

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person rom which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (a.k.a. The HAmmer Rule)-

(from Ferinand Pelayo)

The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items incude costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

Second Corollary-

(by Moonstarr)

Note that this skill is not to be used as storage for items of greate importance, such as magical items, items sought after by multiple or dangerous parties, or anything else of great importance to the plot. If This extradimensional pocket should be used as previously noted, any tracking device or search shall remain equally effective. That is, no extradimensional pocket is able to hide even the smallest item that can effect the safely of life, the universe or anything else of terrible importance.

#28 - Law of Hydrostatic emission

Eeyes tend to be rather large in anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown as there is no evidence to suggest taht these resevoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason that water tensd to collect in the eyes is because anime characters only have oner large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed. embarrassed or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39 - Law of Inverse Attraction

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperatey you want to be successful. The more you want it, the less you get it, and vice versa.

First Corollary-

Unfortunately, this law seems to aplly to Otaku in the the real world...

#40 - Law of Nasal Sanguination

(from Marty Ryan and Jason Aylen)

When sexually aroused, males in anime dont get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though the current theory suggests that the larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue. Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of blood flow to that region.

#41 - Law of Xylolaceration

(from Lyndon Harris)

Wooden or bamboo sword are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42 Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

(from Erin Alia)

always send a boy He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

First Corollary-

(by Moostarr)

Any child or you shall be much smarter and well-rounded than teh older, bigger characters. This shall invariably anger the rest of the party, rather than inspire respect in them. Said party shall be especially annoyed when said youth achieves through a simple act what they could not do with all their forces put together, though they must prevent themselves from harnming the prodigy in order to achieve their goals. This admittance to their inferiority further irritates them, and the reult is a circle of controlled anger.

#43 - Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia

There is no law #43.

#44 - Law of Nominative Clamovocation

(from LuikoYsabeth and Adrian Hsiah)

The liklihood of success and doamage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportionate to teh volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

#45 - Law of Uninterruptible Metamorphisis

(from R.A. Hubby)

Regardless of how long or involved the tranformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any bad guys witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunnded to do anything to interrupt it.

First Corollary-

Any special device or spell formulated for the sole interruption of any transfomation shall invariably fail for any of a number of reasons.

#46 - Law of Flimsy ingocnition

(from Conrad Knauer)

Simply changing into a costume ot wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47 - Law of provincial Origins

(By Lady Moonstarr)

The hero of an anime or game comes from a small, simple and less advanced town. He starts out in an old-looking, maybe even poor, small town, and sets off to adventure through many various regions, all of which are more advanced and fancy than his own.

The following apeared at the end of the laws on the originating page:

Coyright notice- Many of the laws are based on the intellectual input from a variety of sources, but all test on this site is compyright Ryan Shellito and Darrin Bright. You are free to copy, distribute, edit and add your own laws, so long as you leave all the credits intact. I prefer people t olink to this site rather than putting up their own laws, so they keep up with any changes.

Most of the laws have pretty much been discovered, but every once in a while Ryan and I find a new one, or someone suggests a good one. If you have your own laws you want to send us, we'd love to get them. However, now that the list has gotten so long, and Ryan and I have gotten pickier (and a little lazier), we don't use most of the suggestions we get, usually because they are too specific to one series or movie, and just aren't general enough to be a universal law.

Of course, not to undermine the purpose of this litm but really, all the laws of anime can be summend up by a single statement: "if it looks cool, it works."

Moonstarr would like to not that the site at which this list was found (somewhere on www.anime.com) no longer posts the list, and for an unknown reason. Since the list is such a un thing, it was posted here. I would liek to thank Ryan and Darrin for starting the the list, and welcome their thoughts. If you think of any more laws, send them to me! They must be laws that actually happen in an anime, and in more than just one title or series. If you know of any other sites that post this set (especially Ryan and Darrin's current one), please let me know! I would be happy to post a link to that page on this one. Also, I think it would be fun to add pictures and/or names of the anime that these laws apply to. Does anyone out there know how to make a quiz page? We could show pictures and ask which laws are being used here. If a page like that already exists, please let me know, and I shall provide a link to it. Thank you all! VIVA L'ANIME!!