Humorous Girl Scout Songs

[ A Girl Scout Can't Be Beat ] [ Counselors ] [ Forms ]
[ Leaders ] [ She Wears a "G" for Generosity ]
[ The Girl Scout Leader Song ]

A GIRL SCOUT CAN'T BE BEAT
Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic

Eve, you know, was banished 'cause she didn't know her leaves.
She ate the fruit forbidden from a common apple tree.
Now if in nature study, she had more proficiency,
She might dwell in Eden still.

Chorus:
Eve, you should have been a Girl Scout. (3 times)
A Girl Scout can't be beat!

Cleopatra reigned in Egypt down along the river Nile.
She was classy, rich, and famous, and she lived in regal style,
But she played with dangerous reptiles, even hugged the asp awhile.
She should have learned first aid.

Chorus:
Cleo should have been a Girl Scout. (3 times)
A Girl Scout can't be beat!

Ann Boleyn of England was beheaded by her King.
As hostess, cook, and housekeeper, she was a stupid thing.
Too late she learned her lesson, and the axeman's ax did swing.
So England lost her Queen.

Chorus:
Ann, you should have been a Girl Scout. (3 times)
A Girl Scout can't be beat!

Chicago is a city that once burned down to the ground.
Miss O'Leary left her lantern where a cow could kick it down.
She didn't know her safety, and the world on her did frown.
Miss O'Leary needed Suzie Safety.

Chorus:
O'Leary should have been a Girl Scout. (3 times)
A Girl Scout can't be beat!

A woman long ago lived in a shoe, we're told.
She knew not what to do because her children lacked control.
Now, if she'd been a leader, she'd have organized patrols
And lived in harmony.

Chorus:
Woman, come and be a Girl Scout. (3 times)
A Girl Scout can't be beat!

Our girls will never have the fate we read in history.
As Scouts they learn to meet the world, and life's emergencies.
So let us keep with Scouting and it's opportunities.
A Girl Scout can't be beat!

Chorus:
Come with us and be a Girl Scout. (3 times)
A Girl Scout can't be beat!

COUNSELORS
Tune: Barges

Out of my tent flap looking in the night,
I can see my counselors having a fight.
Silently flies a pillow through the air,
And there goes someone's underwear.

Counselors, I would like to fight with you.
I would like to hit you with my shoe.
Counselors, having secrets in your chest
Are you fighting at your very best?

Out of my tent flap looking in the night,
I can see my counselors - what a sight!
Curlers in their hair and cold cream on their face,
They look like something from outer space.

Counselors, I would like to be like you.
I would like to have some privileges, too.
Counselors, with your cookies and your Coke,
We hope they make you burp and choke.

FORMS
Tune: Streets of Laredo

One day I decided to be a troop leader,
I talked to a lady and she said to me,
"Take six or eight pencils and sit down beside me,
We'll fill out the forms just as quick as can be."

I sat down beside her and I started writing,
My poor little pencils were broken in two.
She ran out of questions, I ran out of answers,
I said to myself, "Boy, am I glad we're through!"

CHORUS:
Fill the forms in completely, fill out the forms early,
Fill out the forms and make copies of four,
And when you get finished, don't you be too happy,
Just look in the mail and we'll send you some more.

Now I'm a troop leader and I have discovered
That there must be nearly three thousand or more.
I filled in Form eight - ten and fifteen - oh - seven,
And what in the world is a ten - seventy - four?

In final desperation, I went to the doctor,
My eyes were all weepy, my fingers were sore.
He mentioned the hospital, he took out some papers,
I looked at the forms and I ran out the door!

CHORUS

LEADERS
Tune: Barges

Out of my tent flap looking in the night
I can see the leaders, boy, what a sight!
Curlers in their hair and cold cream on their face
They look like something from outer space.

Leaders, I would like to be like you
I would like to have some privileges too.
Leaders, have you cookies that you hold?
Do you share with Girl Scouts, Brave and bold.

Out of my tent flap looking in the night
I can see those leaders having a fight
Silently goes a pillow through the air
And here comes someone's underwear.

Leaders, I don't want to be with you.
I would probably end up black and blue.
Leaders, have your cookies that you hold?
Do you share with Girl Scouts Good as Gold

SHE WEARS A "G" FOR GENEROSITY

She wears a "G" for saying "Go to bed"
She wears an "I" for "Isn't it done, yet?"
She wears an "R" for ruining all our fun
She wears an "L" for "Let's do work, for let's do work"
She wears an "S" for "Scouts don't act that way"
She wears a "C" for crabbiness, for crabbiness
She wears an O-U-T for outdoor life, she's out of her mind
The leader we'd love to be, GIRL SCOUT!!

THE GIRL SCOUT LEADER SONG
Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic

I was glad to have a daughter 'cause our first child was a son,
I thought of all the ruffles, all the frilly bows and fun,
I thought of how we'd sit and talk at night when day was done,
Wasn't I the foolish one?

She was only turning six when they called me to the fore,
I said, "I'm not equipped." They said, "Oh yes you are, what's more,
We'll train you in the basics; we'll outfit you for the corps."
Then they shoved me out the door!

CHORUS:
Glory, glory I'm a leader
How'd I get to be a leader?
All I did was have a daughter,
Is this the price I pay?

They taught me to be thrifty, to be thoughtful, to be true,
They taught me to string beads like the noble Indians do.
I had to learn to dig a trench and how to use it too!
And you should taste the stew!

I had to learn to sing songs that I didn't understand.
I learned to dance the polka and to make a rhythm band,
To think of what to do and to forget what I had planned,
Oh isn't scouting grand?

CHORUS:
Glory, glory I'm a leader
Me they had to make a leader,
I can't even build a fire,
Let alone put up a tent!

We went walking in the woodland, my Girl Scout troop and me,
The handbook says that nature has a wealth of sights to see,
It's true we sure were sights, when they found us eventually!
And I do this for free!

I'm not meant to be a leader: I don't know which bird is which.
My hot dog sticks all burned up; we come home from hikes and itch.
The sit-upons all fell apart, I showed them the wrong stitch,
But no one wants to switch!

CHORUS:
Glory, glory I'm a leader
Hallelujah I'm a leader!
Tell me why I should be happy,
My dinner's always late!

But even though I grumble and I mumble and I shout,
Though there are days I wonder, "What is the best way out?"
I guess when all is said and done, there isn't any doubt,
I'm glad to be a scout!

CHORUS:
Glory, glory I'm a leader,
Someone's got to be a leader.
They can carve it on my tombstone,
"Here's a girl who did her best!"

[ Burned-Out Leader ] [ Glossary ] [ Humorous Songs ]
[ You May Be a Green Neck if... ]

Graphics on this page have been designed by

This Web Site and its contents (eg. HTML, design and images) are the property of Angelsmist. Please notify the author if you wish to use any of the contents or images.