Moonraven’s notes of gratitude:  Thank you Hitari-chan for beta reading for me!  You’re a gem!  Great big hug, okay?  To Xellas, thanks for being a great friend, your constant e-mails and friendship had gotten me out of a depressing rut, allowing me to write again!  Goddess blessings!

Hugs for my reviewers as well!!!

TigerBlak: Hey!  What’s with the crickets?  ^^; Here’s your update; sorry it took so long!  Thank you for your patience!

Sakata: Thank you, thank you, thank you!  A small lemon in this chapter, I’m still not clear on the R vs. NC-17 thingy…  And am patiently waiting for more Eternity Knot, na no da!  Okay, not so patient… Hayaku!  Hayaku!

Fiery-Ice: My favorite hobby: torturing the bishounens!  Thank you for your review, they are gonna be together, never fear!

Shadow Priestess: Bad consequences?  Me? Never! Hehehe, you’ll see…

Keimei: Let’s not say they’re together because they have no one else…but because they understand each other?  Actually, Chiri didn’t leave his room open…it was locked alright… And the thing about e-mailing the story, it was just in case FF.net decides to pull my story.  If that happens then I would continue to write and post somewhere else or e-mail anyone who requests it.  Luckily, that didn’t happen, ne?

Midori: Thank you, no da!  I had my fingers crossed a while there since there was no interaction between Tas and Chi at all.  But I’m glad you liked it!

Hitari-chan:  What can I say?  Arigatou again for undertaking such a horrendous task for me!  I hope it wasn’t so bad?  LOL.  Never fear, I enjoy constructive criticism almost as much as nice reviews!  Almost, ne? *Grins*  And where is the adult fanfiction.net, no da? 

Xellas:  ((((HUGS))))  and more ((((HUGS))))  Thanks for acting as my idea sounding board and allowed me to bounce all kinds of insanity off of you! 

Kawaii: I know what you mean about the guys in anime…but some are so much hotter than others, ne?   Arigatou!!!

M-chan: I signed the petition, too!  I wonder what good it will do?  Anyways…I’m glad you came back and read the story.  Arigatou!  LOL, I did get a lot of skepticisms when I mentioned R/T pairing, but they are becoming one of my favorites…  *giggles* Why is Tohma scaring everybody??  He’s so…so…Quatre…and that boy couldn’t shoo a fly… Thanks for reading and the Pocky!  Yum!

Tricia: Thank you for the nice review!  I hope to keep writing to everyone’s expectation, na no da!

Dark Light Angel: Updated, no daaaaa!  Chichiri does day ‘no da’ and so does Ryuuichi when he’s in his ultra kawaii kid mode.  Thank you for reviewing!

Ah, let’s see…You’ll find 2 more bishounens from another anime making an appearance…see if you know which anime they’re from, okay?  I’m sure many of you know them…  I don’t own them either but obviously they wanted to come and play with me and my boys, ne? 

Lime and well…close to a lemon, I think… enjoy!

Disclaimer:  don’t own nothing… Bwaaaahhhh!!!

Songs Of The Heart - Chapter 6: The Surrender

By Moonraven

“Hotohori-sama…” Nuriko said softly as Tasuki closed the door behind him. Why did he say that? This was Tori-chan, not a ‘sama’. The honorific had felt so right yet it felt sad too, like reaching for an unattainable treasure displayed tauntingly before him.

“Are you alright?” Hotohori’s deep voice asked as the man himself walked slowly into the room. “You looked…almost sad.” He came to a stop a foot or two from the younger man.

Nuriko looked up and did his best to flash Hotohori a cheerful grin but failed miserably; his heart just wasn’t in it. Nuriko found that he was nearly shaking with emotions he could hardly describe. What was this aching, empty feeling in his stomach? He lifted his shaky hands to his chest and clasped them together tightly, hoping to stop their trembling. Hotohori-sama…

“Nuri-chan.” The taller man reached out and took Nuriko’s quivering hands into his own and rubbed them gently. He guided Nuriko back to the small sofa and gently urged the younger man on it, then he seated himself next to his friend. “What’s wrong?” Hotohori held both of Nuriko’s hands in one of his large strong hands while the other one reached up and softly caressed a loose strand of black hair before tugging it gently behind Nuriko’s ear. His hand did not move back but tenderly cupped the side of his stunned friend’s face.

Nuriko took long steady breaths and felt his emotions slowly stabilize. He looked into the deep brown eyes of the only person he had ever loved and shook his head in confusion. “I…I don’t know. One minute I was alright and the next…the next minute I…” He paused looking for the right words to describe his feelings. “I felt like I had lost everything.” He looked at Hotohori again and shrugged helplessly.

Hotohori glanced involuntarily at the closed door and wondered if it had anything to do with Tasuki. A small frown graced his pretty brows; he did not like the thought that there might be something between his two friends.

Nuriko saw the look and squeezed Hotohori’s hand gently while he leaned into the hand that still held his cheek. “It’s not Tasuki, so you don’t need to beat up on him or anything.” He smiled. “I’m fine now, it’s probably nerves, you know how excited I get when I talk to my friends about their love lives.”

Hotohori smiled, relief flooded his being though he wasn’t sure why. He told himself that Nuriko was just too emotional for his own good and too fragile; he needed looking after, he needed Hotohori to protect him. Another part of his mind scoffed the idea and called himself a liar. ‘Great!’ Hotohori chided himself, ‘I’m arguing with myself and I still have no idea what this feeling is.’ Hotohori wondered absently if hanging around his two irrepressible friends was good for him after all.

“So who is Tasuki in love with now?” Hotohori reluctantly pulled his hands away from Nuriko and leaned back on the sofa. The loss of contact left him curiously empty and he longed to touch the smaller man again.

“Um…well…he’s not sure yet. He went to find out.” Yeah, right…good one, Nuriko.

Hotohori frowned and blinked at his friend. “How’s he going to find out?”

“Well, you…there’re ways to…you know…um find out.” Holy crap, Nuriko! Where the hell is your brain?

Hotohori blinked again and sat up, fascinated. “You mean there are ways, things you can do, to find out if you’re in love with someone?”

Nuriko frowned at the sudden interest Hotohori was showing. “Why, Tori-chan? Are you confused about your feelings too?” He narrowed his eyes at his friend. “I wasn’t aware that you were interested in anyone. Are you holding out on me?”

“No, no. Not at all.” Hotohori got up suddenly and walked to the window. Nuriko didn’t like the way his shoulders slumped or the resignation he sensed in the taller man. “Well, okay, maybe.” He didn’t turn around and his voice was so low it was hard for Nuriko to hear him.

Nuriko got up and walked up to his friend. “Tori-chan?” He asked tentatively. He had never seen Hotohori this resigned or this sad since that day in the playground, when they were children. He had vowed then that he would never let anything or anyone make this man unhappy. Nuriko wasn’t about to let that happen now, no matter how much it would hurt him. “Is there…is there someone?” Gods, he was going to hate this.

“What did you tell Tasuki to do?” Hotohori asked quietly without turning around.

“Nani?”

“To find out if he’s in love, what did you tell him to do?” Came the quiet question.

“I…well, I told him to follow his heart, to explore the feelings that the person evoked in him. I know they’re basically physical things we’re talking about but that’s the fun part, ne? I mean, if kissing and…other things weren’t turning you off, that’s a start, right? Especially if they could, like, totally melt you into a super gooey puddle, I’d say that’s definitely a sign. And if this person could make you catch your breath every time you see them, then you’re more than half in love already…well not if you caught your breath because he’s butt ugly or anything but because he’s wonderful and totally gorgeous and kind and…and I’m babbling.” He walked up to Hotohori and poked his head in front of his silent friend. “Na, Tori, who is it? Do I know her? Huh? Huh?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I do but it’s not…it’s not a girl.” It was whispered so low Nuriko had to practically glue his ear to Hotohori to hear it.

Not a girl…? Oh shit! Two in one day?

Nuriko had a sinking feeling that somewhere out there, he had probably caused some major offense to several religions and he would be lucky if they hadn’t proclaimed him the devil incarnate. What were the chances of his two straight friends turning gay right before his eyes? Before today, he would’ve said ‘NIL’. Now he wondered if he wasn’t responsible for this whole thing after all?

“Ne, Tori. Did…did you say…not a girl?”

“Are you shocked?” Hotohori’s deep calm voice asked. The man himself still hadn’t turned to face his friend.

“Not…SHOCKED exactly…” Who was he kidding? “Hell, yeah, I’m shocked! How could you keep something like this from ME? Your fucking best friend, not to mention your fucking GAY best frien---”

“If I were to kiss this person, would I know?” That damnable calm voice asked as if Nuriko hadn’t exploded.

“Whoa, whoa, time out! You’re not kissing ANYONE, Tori-chan. Sit.” He grabbed the taller man by the arm and dragged him back to the sofa. “Now, tell me PLEASE, that’s it’s NOT Chichiri.”

Hotohori looked up, aghast. “NO!” He shivered as if the Arctic wind had blown into the room. “Whatever gave you THAT idea?”

Nuriko sighed in relief then paled at the next thought. “NOT Tasuki, is it?” He cringed at the mental picture; this was going to be a BIG mess if it was.

Hotohori looked at Nuriko as if he had grown several new heads. “NO! Where do you GET these ideas?”

Nuriko shook his head dismissively. “Never mind, Tori-chan. Um…so who is it?”

Hotohori turned away but remained silent.

“Okay, should I name every guy we know and you just squawk with indignation when I’m wrong?” Even though Nuriko couldn’t see Hotohori’s face, he could tell the man was smiling. “Or I could just follow you around and see who you’d try to kiss…” he suggested lightly.

“You don’t have to do that.” Hotohori turned in his seat and face his friend. His face was serious and a small nervous frown lightly creased his forehead. He swallowed hard before he spoke again. “I don’t want to lose our friendship; you mean so much to me.” The taller man reached up with one hand and gently caressed Nuriko’s cheek.

Nuriko blinked in confusion. “You could never lose me, Hotohori. No matter whom you choose to be by your side, I will always be here for you. Always.”

“Even if I choose you?”

Before Nuriko could absorb the meaning of the words, Hotohori leaned in and pressed his warm lips to the younger man’s. Nuriko gasped in shocked and nearly fainted when he felt Hotohori’s tongue brushed his lips softly before venturing between them. Aiya! Was he dreaming again? Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod….

He didn’t have time to respond, his mind was still swirling somewhere up around cloud nine, before Hotohori pulled away reluctantly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have don---”

“No way, buster! You don’t kiss this boy and apologize.” He grabbed Hotohori’s collar and pulled him in for another kiss as he climbed on the man’s lap. “You keep on kissing him.” With that said, Nuriko wrapped his arms around Hotohori and parted his lips invitingly.

Hotohori was only too eager to comply and he plundered the sweet cavern as he pressed the smaller man down on the cushions. Nuriko was right, kissing did tell him if this was love…but he wasn’t about to stop to tell the braided baka that. He was going to do what Nuriko had said to do and kept on kissing his love.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Where are you going?” Yuki asked as Shuuichi slipped on his shoes. The blond had come out of his office and stood holding his empty coffee cup, frowning at the youth.

“Photo shoot for the contest. I told you last night, Yuki.” Shuuichi paused and smiled at his lover. “But you weren’t paying attention, were you, Yuki?” As he recalled it, Yuki was more interested in getting into his pants when the topic came up.

“Baka! Of course I paid attention. That’s not until 3 p.m., it’s not even noon.” Yuki frowned at the teen.

“Hm, Tasuki and I are having lunch before the shoot. It’s a new Okinomiyaki place right next to the studio. That’s alright, isn’t it?”

“You’re spending a lot of time with that kid.”

Shuuichi blinked and forgot the shoes completely. “Who? Tasuki?”

“Hn.” Yuki’s cold glare sent shivers down Shuuichi’s spine.

“But…we’re preparing for a concert as well as the promo for the Bad Luck Fangirl Contest, I…we’re not doing anything…” What was Yuki thinking?

Yuki continued to silently study him and Shuuichi’s heart thumped painfully in his chest. Yuki couldn’t possibly think that HE, Shuuichi Shindou was cheating on HIM! Could he?

“Yuki…” He shook off the shoe he had on and walked back to where his lover stood glaring. “Yuki, what are you thinking?”

“I told you what I thought.” He brushed past the stunned teen and walked into the kitchen.

Shuuichi followed Yuki in shocked. “Yuki…” he started but the tall blond raised his hand and shook his head.

“Go.” Yuki busied himself with boiling water and scooping out coffee grinds. Shuuichi choked back a cry as he left his moody lover and made a phone call. When he returned Yuki was walking back to his office with a fresh cup of coffee. The blonde’s frowned deepened and he sighed in exasperation. “What are you still doing here?”

“Yuki.” Shuuichi’s lips trembled at the cold, angered toned and his eyes filled with unshed tears. How could Yuki be so cruel after all this time? Didn’t he know how much Shuuichi loved him?

Yuki put the coffee mug on the table with a loud bang. He turned abruptly to face his young lover and grabbed both of the boy’s upper arms. He had intended to shake the life out of the enraging teen but those expressive eyes, filled with pain and tears brought him up short. He gasped and released Shuuichi so suddenly the boy stumbled and fell back against the wall. Yuki cursed himself for the hundredth time since he had taken Shuuichi as a lover. He knew this would happen someday. Shuuichi would find out what an ass he was and the boy would turn to the next pretty face that came along. He should be glad to be rid of this nuisance, Yuki told himself. He could have his quiet life back again. No more Shuuichi, no more chaos.

Shuuichi rubbed at his arms absently as he leaned on the wall for support. When Yuki had grabbed him, Shuuichi could have sworn he saw fear in those golden eyes. Was Yuki afraid that Shuuichi would leave him for Tasuki? “Yuki.” He said softly, as he put all of his heart into the name.

“Yuki, Yuki, Yuki. Is that all you could say?” Yuki growled halfheartedly.

“No. I love you, Yuki.” Shuuichi whispered. He watched as Yuki closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Baka.” Yuki said softly as he sat and started to type again. “Go. You’ll be late.”

Shuuichi wasn’t going anywhere. Yuki needed him here and he was going to be here for his lover. He went to sit in his chair next to the typing novelist and started to tell him all about the silly answers that came in for the Fangirl Contest. Yuki grunted and told him to shut up but Shuuichi ignored the blond and kept on talking. He went into great detail about one particular entry that had sent in 25 type-written pages about how marvelous K-san was. The girl, it seems, did not read the instruction and decided to write about K instead of the actual Bad Luck members. Needless to say, K was tickled pink and insisted that Francheska be the honorary winner.

Yuki listened distractedly and actually found the boy’s excited chatter to be comforting. When Shuuichi was not there to bother him with senseless prattles, Yuki actually missed him.

“Baka.” Yuki stopped typing suddenly and pulled the boy onto his lap. The blond crushed those delectable lips to his and forced them open urgently with his probing tongue. When would he have enough of this intoxicating youth? When would the addiction leave him and allow him peace again? Would the constant yearning for the boy never cease?

“Yuki.” Shuuichi moaned as he ground himself on his lover’s hardness. Gods, he loved this man so much. Yuki got up and carried him to their bedroom. Shuuichi’s lips remained locked on his lover and he was only vaguely aware when Yuki gently lowered him onto the bed. Urgent hands tore at his clothing while his hot tongue traced sensual trails down his chest. The only other thought that had drifted across his mind before his lover thrust deep into him was how glad he was to have stayed with Yuki instead of going to lunch…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Crap! Did I fucking lose him again?” Tasuki looked around the street in frustration. He was sure Chichiri had gone into the ‘Koneko no Sumi Ie’ flower shop but when he lurked around the front, he couldn’t find Chichiri anywhere. He grumbled furiously as a tall red head told him, none too gently, to either buy something or get out! How rude!

“Ma, Ran, leave him alone. If he doesn’t look, how’s he going to find anything he wants?” A cheerful looking brunette holding a potted fern said to the scowling red head as he came out of the shop. He put the potted plant down carefully by the front door and smiled at Tasuki. “Can I help you with anything?”

Tasuki smiled back and shook his head. It was hard not to respond to the bright sunny smile of the brunette. He swallowed his smile hastily as Ran, the tall scarlet haired man, gave him a ferocious glare. Damn, did they all get the glare from the same place? Maybe he should buy something after all.

“Just a small bouquet would be nice.” He managed as he tried not to look at Ran; between Chichiri and Yuki, he’d had enough of ‘the look’.

“For what occasion?” The brunette wiped his hands on the green apron he wore and looked expectantly at Tasuki.

Oh shit! “Um…is there one for, like, all purpose thing?” He asked.

The brunette smiled brighter and motioned with his head for Tasuki to follow him into the shop. “Sure, why don’t you follow me and I’ll show you some of our selections.”

“NO!” Tasuki nearly shouted. He couldn’t risk going in the shop, what if Chichiri was still in there somewhere. He certainly didn’t see the man leave.

The brunette turned back startled at his tone. “Excuse me?”

“If you’re not going to buy anything, get out.” Ran said coldly.

Tasuki rolled his eyes at the red head and was about to say something scathing when an even more genki voice shouted from inside the shop. “Arigatou, Ri-san. See you next week!”

Oh shit. Could that be ChichiRI-san? “Er…you’re right, I should go.” Tasuki muttered and dashed around the corner and hid behind the phone booth.

The brunette stared after him then turned a frown on his co-worker. “Great, Ran, you scared another one away. When will you leave the assassin mode to missions only?” He crossed his arms and look at the red head in exasperation.

“I thought you liked my assassin mode, Ken.” He looked meaningfully at Ken and there was a playful lift at the corner of his lips.

“Not with the customers, Ran.” Ken said softly and winked at the red head before he turned his attention to the figure leaving the shop. “Bye, Ri-san. See you next time.”

Chichiri smiled warmly at the brunette and nodded to Ran as he left the ‘Koneko’. The delicate looking white bouquet looked out of place on the unyielding songwriter dressed in black and Tasuki couldn’t help the uneven beating of his heart as he watched the man. Where the hell was he going with the flower?

All morning Tasuki had followed the man and he had found that Chichiri was more of a puzzle now than he was yesterday. First the man went to a home for troubled and abused children, then he had gone to an orphanage run by a private organization and now, the flower shop.

And there was that strange phone call. Chichiri had looked so serious when he was talking. There was a moment when Tasuki saw Chichiri close his eye in concentration and then something like a red glow surrounded the man. It lasted only a few seconds and Tasuki wondered if he had imagined it all. His brilliant idea of following the man was supposed to help him understand Chichiri better, but he was filled with more questions now than before. Tasuki sighed almost piteously as he continued to shadow the black figure. NOW where was he going?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ (We’ll be back, don’t worry)

He should have known. The roof was one of their favorite places when they were lovers. Ryuuichi had said that it had made him feel like he was on top of the world; it had also made sex on the roof quite explosive. The sexy singer was now leaning dangerously close over the edge as he peered over the short wall around the roof. Blood rushed to Tohma’s groin as he recalled thrusting into his lover so long ago, as Ryuuichi leaned against that wall, similarly to what he was doing now.

Tohma swallowed his lust and cleared his throat. Ryuuichi turned around, a soft smile on his face and he cocked his head slightly, inviting Tohma to come stand by him.

“Kuma has forgiven you, no da, and so have I.”

Could it be? Could Ryuuichi really have forgiven him? Tohma didn’t deserve it; he was a cold bastard who had tossed his lover aside for a mere kid who didn’t even give him the time of day. What could he have been thinking?

“I had forgotten how beautiful it was up here.” Ryuuichi’s melodic voice brought Tohma back to the captivating man beside him. “Have you been up here since…?” His beautiful voice stopped abruptly and he shook his head ruefully. “It’s okay. Let’s not go there.”

“NO!” Tohma was surprised at the desperation in his own voice but he knew that they couldn’t hide anymore. How could they move on if they couldn’t face the past? “We have to go there, Ryu. We have to talk about this. You’ve never said a word to me about…what happened, not a single word.” Tohma swallowed the aching lump in his throat and continued. “Yell at me. Hit me. Please, Ryu, anything.”

Ryuuichi turned and smiled sadly at him. “I can’t; I love you. I always have. If Mika or Eiri or anyone else could make you happy, I would never, ever make you feel bad for wanting that. You’re everything, Tohma.”

“Ryu-chan.” Tohma said softly, choking on his emotions. He had waited for this moment so long that he had almost given up all hope. “I…don’t know what to do…” He really didn’t. He loved this man so, much his whole body ached just thinking about him, but surely he did not deserve a second chance?

Ryuuichi smiled gently. “What do you want to do?” He reached up and playfully removed the hat on Tohma’s head and put it on his own.

Tohma marveled at the serenity in the man’s expression. Ryuuichi was totally at peace with what they were doing. Tohma smiled at the rock star and snatched his hat back. “I look better in that.”

“You’re right.” Ryuuichi said and turned to face him, leaning one elbow on the top of the wall. “That’s why I gave it to you.”

Tohma frowned and took his favorite hat down and stared at it. Ryuuichi was right. This was his birthday present from the singer when they were still lovers. He went everywhere with this hat and he now knew why…it was because of Ryuuichi. It was the last thing that Ryuuichi had given him… He clutched it to his chest as he looked up at Ryuuichi.

“Ryu.” Tohma swallowed the lump in his throat. “I…” I don’t know what to say either.

Ryuuichi decided to take pity on him and leaned in very slowly. His bright blue eyes gazed steadily into the sparkling green ones of Tohma’s as he closed the gap and kissed the blond softly. He pulled back and smiled at the speechless blond. “I really missed you.” He told Tohma.

“I missed you more.” Tohma said unsteadily. This was something they used to say to each other when they had to spend time apart. Saying it again brought tears to Tohma’s eyes. “I love you so much.” Tohma choked as he threw his arms around Ryuuichi’s neck and pulled the man into a heartbreakingly sweet embrace. If he could absorb the man into his very body, he would. He wanted to be that close to Ryuuichi. “I’m so sorry, Ryu-chan; so very sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness; I was horrible. Oh, gods, how I missed you! Oh, gods! I was so stupid!” Six years! It had been six long, torturous years and he had deserved every single heart wrenching moment of it.

Ryuuichi held the trembling man close and buried his face in the soft blond hair. It had been so long since he had held Tohma; it felt so good, he knew he had made the right decision. Whatever may come when Mika found out, they would face it together. Chichiri was right; Tohma still loved him.

Ryuuichi rubbed the blonde’s back soothingly. “It’s okay, no da, Tohma. Shh…it’s okay, na no da.” His voice had fallen into the childlike pitch and Tohma involuntarily stiffened.

The blond producer pulled away reluctantly but remained in the circle of Ryuuichi’s arms. His face was wet with tears and Ryuuichi kissed them away gently, not unlike what Tohma had done earlier when he thought he had lost Kumagorou.

Tohma looked at the pink bunny head that stuck out from the top of Ryuuichi’s shirt and looked back up at the face of his former lover. “Kuma...” He whispered.

“I-it’s going to take me a while Tohma, but now I still need him.” Ryuuichi said in a low voice. How could he cut off the only thing that had kept him sane for the last 6 years?

“No. I didn’t mean that…it’s just that…I did that. I’m so sorry.” Tohma lowered his head, unable to meet the steady blue gaze of Ryuuichi.

Ryuuichi put a hand under Tohma’s chin and tipped the blond head back. He pressed another warm kiss to the quivering lips and shook his head gently. “No, Tohma. I did it. Kuma was my choice, no da. We all make choices, be they good or bad. We live with them and we make new ones when opportunity rises. I’m making a new choice, na no da.” He said as he leaned in and pressed his lips firmly to Tohma. “How do you like my new choice?” He murmured against the parting lips.

“I love it.” Tohma replied before he slipped his tongue into the sweetness that was Ryuuichi. Their lips brushed against each other heatedly as their tongue caressed one another fervently. This was heaven, Tohma thought. This was what he had longed for all his life. Ryuuichi Sakuma was his again.

But did he deserve it? How many more people must he hurt so he could be happy? Mika-san? What would Mika say? Chichiri? No, Chichiri knew, he practically gave his blessings…what was wrong with THAT picture.

Ryuuchi sighed as he pulled away. “NOW what?” He could always tell when Tohma was preoccupied with something, Tohma had to smile at the lovably cognitive man.

“What about Chichiri? Are you sure this is what you want Ryu-chan? You two are so close.” Tohma bit his lips; he knew what was coming.

“Yes we are. But we’re not in love. Chichiri has another destiny he’s…pursuing. At least I hope he will.” Ryuuichi grimaced thinking about his stubborn friend. “What about you?” He looked meaningfully at Tohma. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Tohma decided that he couldn’t leave Mika and that this whole fantasy of Ryuuichi’s just wasn’t going to work. Ryuuichi’s heart would break once more and this time, he would not be able to piece his life together again. This time, there would be no going on.

“Mika has always known. I love her AND Eiri very much but now I know…I’ve known for quite some time now that it’s not the same love I feel for you. I’ve known but I couldn’t do anything about it because I didn’t think you’d ever forgive me. I didn’t think I deserve another chance…but I could no longer deny what I feel for you. I need you. If you’ll have me, I will never let you go again. I would rather die that hurt you, Ryu. I love you.”

Ryuuichi caressed the pale cheek lovingly. “Anything for you, Tohma, so long as you’re sure that this is what you really want.” He looked away, out over the city of Tokyo. “I don’t think I could survive another heartbreak, no da.”

Tohma tightened his arms around Ryuuichi. “NEVER. No matter what happens, I will never hurt you, EVER again.”

Ryuuichi smiled and allowed Tohma to pull him in for another kiss. His world would not shatter after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

‘A fucking cemetery? He’s going in the fucking cemetery?’ Tasuki groaned, as he stopped behind the Takoyaki stand in front of the cemetery. Of all the friggin' places to go, the unpredictable man had to go see the dead.

“Maybe I could just wait right here…” Tasuki muttered as he watched the black figure disappeared between the large iron gates. Curiosity got the better of him, however, and he couldn’t help wondering whom Chichiri came to see. He waited a few seconds before sneaking up to the gate and peered between the iron bars. Chichiri was nowhere in sight. Damn!

Tasuki slipped between the gates and looked around desperately. This was one place he did not want to be alone in. He couldn’t see Chichiri so he followed the small path that led deep between rolls of archaic looking gravestones. Tasuki shivered, this place was straight out of a B horror movie, and all that was missing were some fog and horror music.

After about 15 minutes of walking and encountering no one, including the elusive Chichiri, Tasuki was ready to turn back. Then he caught faint sounds from further down the path; they were sounds of angry shouting. Tasuki’s heart lurched curiously in his chest and he knew without a doubt that Chichiri was in trouble. No longer caring that Chichiri would see him, Tasuki raced down the path towards the uproar.

He abruptly came to a stop when he saw the cause of the commotion. Not 50 feet from him crouched Chichiri, in front of a grave, three angry looking men stood close by; two were earnestly holding back their companion as he looked about ready to pounce Chichiri. The men looked to be in their twenties, tall and pretty pissed. The man in the middle was the tallest with dark hair falling across his brows.

“Get OUT!” The man being restrained yelled at Chichiri. “How dare you show your face? Get the hell away from here!”

Chichiri got slowly to his feet and silently brushed the dirt from his pants. He looked sadly one last time at the grave and Tasuki noticed that the flowers Chichiri had bought were strewed all around the area. It looked like someone was so pissed they took it out on the bouquet as well.

“I didn’t believe it when they told me they saw you here last week. Ten fucking years, Houjun! I’ve looked for you for ten fucking years!” The black haired man continued as he struggled to get free. “Now I find you by his grave. I should kill you right here but I wont! I won’t defile his grave with your fucking blood but if you ever set foot here again, I WILL KILL YOU!” He gave his friends a hard push and they stumbled back cursing. “Daisuke, don’t!” But it was too late, Daisuke’s fist connected with Chichiri’s jaw, and the smaller man stumbled backwards, falling over another grave.

Tasuki had seen enough. He rushed to stand between the angry Daisuke and the fallen Chichiri.

“Whoa, buddy. I don’t think the dead appreciates all this angst, man. Cool it, okay?” He turned to Chichiri and asked, “You okay?”

Chichiri glared at him from his position on the ground and Tasuki wondered how anyone sitting on his ass could still be so damn arrogant.

“This has nothing to do with you, friend, so I suggest you leave.” Daisuke said ominously to Tasuki and advanced towards Chichiri. The two men had since given up trying to stop their friend and were now following him to the fallen man.

“Well, my mama would surely be spitting in her grave if she knew I let the three of you beat up on one guy.” He smiled and shrugged helplessly. “So I guess I’m staying.”

“Leave, Tasuki.” Chichiri said quietly and Tasuki noticed that he was already standing up. But the man didn’t look like he intended to defend himself. His stance was one of resignation and surrender…

“No.” Tasuki frowned at Chichiri. “There’s only three of them, we could take them out.”

“No.” Chichiri said quietly. “Just go. Please.” The last word was a mere whisper and Tasuki did a double take to make sure he’d heard it right. Chichiri said ‘please’?

Tasuki was shoved roughly to one side as the three men jumped Chichiri. Shit! He wasn’t going to let this happen. Why was Chichiri just letting them do this? Tasuki grabbed the collar of two of the men closest to him and pulled them off Chichiri. He threw them hard against the nearby tree, knocking the breath out of them. He then gave the last man a hard kick in the back and pulled Chichiri from under the guy. While the three men scrambled to their feet, Tasuki hauled Chichiri through the maze of trees, mausoleums and gravestones. He hoped to gain enough distance and then find some place to hide. He looked back at the sullen man being dragged along and shook his head in disbelief. What the hell was going through Chichiri’s mind?

As they were zigzagging through the dead, Chichiri tugged on his arm. “This way.” Tasuki felt himself pulled towards the other man and a strange red light filled his vision. He blinked several times to clear his sight and bumped into Chichiri. The other man turned to steady him and they both stumbled to the floor in a tangle of limbs.

When Tasuki finally opened his eyes, he found that they were inside…a tomb? Shit!

“Where the hell…?” He stared around in shock. “How did we get in here?”

Chichiri pushed Tasuki off him and got to his feet. He went to the small window on the side of the…tomb and looked out. “Through the door.” He said without turning to the red head.

Tasuki looked across the room to where the heavy iron door was and he was sure he didn’t come through there.

“Bullshit!” He got up and came to stand next to Chichiri and peered over the other man’s shoulder, out the small 1’ x 2’ opening.

“Be quiet!” Chichiri hissed under his breath. When the man was sure they weren’t followed he turned angrily towards the red head. “What on earth were you thinking? You could have been really hurt.”

Tasuki shrugged nonchalantly. “YOU helped me and Nuri the other day and there must have been a dozen of them.”

“I didn’t DO anything. They just…ran away.” Chichiri said in exasperation. “I was in no danger.”

“Che! I wasn’t in no danger either!” Tasuki huffed.

Chichiri wiped at the blood dripping into his good eye and muttered a curse under his breath.

“Why did you just let them hit you?” Tasuki wanted to know. He didn’t think Chichiri was a coward but he couldn’t understand the man’s actions. “Who were they?”

Chichiri closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. “None of your concern.” He said quietly.

“Fuck that! Who were they?” He asked again.

Chichiri turned a cold glare on him…again. “Leave it.” He told Tasuki coolly, and then narrowed his eye at the red head. “What are you doing here?”

Tasuki stared at Chichiri blankly as he tried to come up with something. “I…um…came to see a friend.”

Chichiri didn’t look like he’d believed Tasuki. “I see. What a coincidence. What was his name?”

“Huh?”

“Your friend’s name.” Chichiri had taken out a blue handkerchief and was pressing it to his bleeding temple.

“Here, let me.” Tasuki didn’t know what possessed him to reach over and take the blue cloth from Chichiri. He shivered as his hand touched the injured man’s and swallowed the lump he found in his throat. Chichiri, still leaning against the wall, stared at him mutely but didn’t protest as Tasuki brushed his long bangs aside so he could see the cut. Tasuki let out a relieved sigh when he saw that it wasn’t too bad. “Well, at least you won’t need to get stitches.” He gently but firmly pressed the blue silk to the gash and suppressed the rising urge to kiss the scar covering Chichiri left eye. Tasuki gulped audibly when Chichiri’s hand came up to grip his. Tasuki looked at the piercing brown eye and swore he was melting.

“Why are you following me?” Chichiri asked softly. The ice was gone from his tone as he stared, puzzled, at the redhead.

Tasuki started to lie but the earnest question from the other man compelled him to be honest. “I wanted to know more about you.” He blushed and looked away from the questioning eye. Tasuki busied himself tending to the gash on Chichiri’s head and wiping blood from the surrounding area. He could still feel the intensity of the gaze but adamantly refused to look back.

“Why?” Tasuki looked into Chichiri’s eye then. The question was filled with utter confusion and frustration; something that he wouldn’t normally associate with Stonewall Chichiri. Well…except that one time when Chichiri had kissed him and…touched him. Tasuki felt heat rushing to his face as he recalled the gentle yet insistent hand caressing him, encouraging him to…

“I…I’m not s-sure why.” Tasuki stammered as the nearness of the other man caused the blood to rush to more than his face. There was something so erotic about the uncertainty in the other man, something that made Tasuki want to hold him and comfort him.

Chichiri’s gaze shifted to the redhead’s lips and Tasuki swallowed nervously, remembering only too well the feel of Chichiri’s lips on his. Unconsciously he licked his lips and Chichiri gave a low growl before he slipped his hand behind Tasuki’s head and pulled the other man to him. Tasuki only had enough time to put his free hand against the wall next to Chichiri’s head to steady himself as the older man plundered his mouth. Chichiri’s cut forgotten, the blue cloth fell to the ground as he slipped his hand to cradle the other man's head, holding him close. Tasuki leaned into Chichiri’s hard frame making every inch of their bodies press intimately together.

Chichiri gave him a shove and Tasuki found himself pinned against the wall with Chichiri’s leg pressed urgently into his groin. He moaned against the hungry lips and rubbed himself shamelessly on the lean thigh.

Chichiri broke away abruptly, panting hard. “Is this why you followed me?” He asked huskily, his eye shifting keenly between Tasuki’s golden orbs.

“Yes.” Tasuki whispered and pulled the man back in. This time it was he who initiated the kiss. He drove hungrily between the startled lips and continued to rub himself against the other man. Tasuki was very aware that his movements were making his own thigh rub against Chichiri’s hardening bulge and the knowledge that he was doing this to the man made Tasuki even harder. He was aching so bad it was borderline painful.

Tasuki nearly shouted with joy when he felt Chichiri’s hands fumble at his belt and zippers. Yes! He thrust into the questing hands, urging them to hurry. Chichiri chuckled against his lips and slipped one hand inside, rubbing at the hard shaft between the openings of Tasuki’s pants. Chichiri pulled his pants down slightly, freeing his throbbing organ and Tasuki moaned in protest when Chichiri pulled away from the kiss.

Tasuki gasped and whimpered when Chichiri knelt between his legs and ran his tongue along the underside of his erection. His legs nearly gave way as Chichiri took the head of his wet cock between those delicious lips and sucked urgently.

“Gods…oh gods…” Tasuki moaned and gripped Chichiri’s head firmly. This was so fucking good. He wanted so badly to thrust into the incredible wet heat but Chichiri held his hips firmly pinned against the wall and all he could do was whimper and beg for release.

Chichiri took pity on him and after what seemed like a sweet eternity, the kneeling man took Tasuki’s whole quivering length into his mouth and allowed Tasuki some movement. The redhead did his best to hold back but the exquisite sensation those talented lips created was driving him nearly insane with pleasure. “Chiri…” He moaned before he gave in to the spiraling vortex and cried out his climax as he thrust deep into Chichiri’s mouth.

Chichiri froze momentarily as he heard Tasuki moan his name. It couldn’t be. He shook his head mentally and swallowed the hot release Tasuki had graced him with.

Tasuki’s breathing calmed somewhat by the time Chichiri finish licking him clean. The older man stood up and looked curiously at him.  Satiated, he gazed languidly into the twinkling brown eye. “I’ve never had a blowjob like that.” He murmured, still panting slightly. “Wow.”

Tasuki caught his breath when Chichiri gave him a heartwarming smile and shook his head. “Baka.” He pulled the redhead away from the wall and kissed him soundly on the lips. “Let’s get out of here.”

Tasuki blinked and stared at Chichiri, confused. “But…but…”

Chichiri raised his brow mockingly at him. “But…but…what?

Tasuki looked pointedly at the obvious bulge in Chichiri's pants. “That’s gotta hurt man, come here.” He pulled Chichiri to him and was surprised when he met no resistance. “My turn.” Tasuki reached between Chichiri’s legs and rubbed the older man.

Chichiri sighed and caught Tasuki’s wrist, stopping him. He gazed heatedly into Tasuki’s eyes before he leaned over and whispered into the redhead’s ear.

“No.” Tasuki shivered as Chichiri traced his tongue along the whorl of Tasuki’s ear. “This is not where I want to fuck you.”

Tasuki’s heart nearly stopped and he gasped unsteadily. Chichiri pulled away to look deep into his eyes, daring him to disagree.

Tasuki swallowed and nodded. “Okay.” He replied weakly. He leaned heavily against Chichiri, his legs refusing to support him. The older man kissed him again and pulled him towards the rusty iron door. Tasuki’s whole being hummed with anticipation as he followed the other man.

“This is not where I want to fuck you.” Damn!

TBC…

Did you like?  I know, I know, it’s evil of me to stop there but the chapter is quite long already.  We’ll just have to see what will happen to the boys next time, ne?