Author’s notes and Warning:  Woohoo!  Another chapter, na no da!  This one is mostly Chichiri and Tasuki.  Special to thanks to my beta reader, Hitari-chan!!!!  Arigatou no da!

Okay…I know I was evil to have left the last chapter off so…unfulfilling?  Since all of you have been so kind and supportive (leaving me such fun reviews to read!), I wrote the lemon for you.  Anyway, this chapter will contain lots of pain for poor Chichiri and some for Tas-chan too!  But I hope the lemon will appease you…

My thanks to all the fantastic reviewers…

Sakata: LOL, gomen, ne?  Not only do I torture bishounens, I torture readers too!  Goodness, I love do Ran/Ken.  I’m thinking of writing them soon…  AGH!  So many bishies, so little time!!!  And thank you for another chapter of Eternity Knots!  Um…more please.

Xellas: Arigatou, arigatou, arigatou!  I can’t say it enough!  Actually I love writing Yuki, well in this particular setting that is.  But I know it will be a challenge if I were to write him in a more sensitive role, hmm…what an interesting idea…I believe that was in one of your emails…

Shadow Priestess: I’ve seen the ‘no da’ used in several other places as well but I haven’t seen it done as consistently as when Chichiri does it.  Though Ryuuichi uses it, it’s hardly to the same extend as Chiri-sama…  And Chiri says it so well… *dreamy sigh*  Arigatou!

TigerBlak: ROFL!  I about died reading your review; it’s so damn funny!  Thank you very much!  LOL, your poor computer!  And yes, the boys are form Weiss Kreuz. Do you like Ran/Ken pairing?

Keimei: DAAAA!  Yes, Seki-sama is Kenken’s seiyuu too!  He’s so darn funny in interviews; I just love him to death!  And Koyasu Takehito (Ran) is really sexy, I think.  What a cute overbite and red hair just like Ran!  Did you know he’s the creator of Weiss? *sigh*  As for the ‘thing’ between Chiri and Tas, it’s not just a sex thing.  Some will be explained this chapter… Chichiri’s just real closed up right now…

Midori: *squeals with Midori-chan*  I love Ran/Ken too!  As well as Youji and Omi. ^^ Interested if I write a Ran/Ken fic? Hehehe, like I don’t have enough to do, ne?  But thank you for your review!

Tricia: Arigatou!  I know, bad, bad Moonraven!  I hope you like this one too, no da!  The Weiss boys saw how much fun the others were having and BEGGED to join us…really!

Hitari-chan: A most kawaii-est beta reader in the whole fandom!  May the Goddess of fanfiction forever bless you with bountiful ideas and creativity!!!  Hugs and blessings, no da!  Oh, and may the typo demon never visit your keyboard, na no da!

Fujimiya Maru:  *drool*  Chichiri, the seducer…yum.  LOL, if you think this is a lot of limey action in one chapter, try my GW fic!  I had three couple with lemon in one chapter.  Whew *fans herself*, now THAT was a challenge!  Arigatou!!!

Kawaii:  Thank you!!!  About the lime in the cemetery…er…well…Tas-chan made me do it!  Yeah, yeah, that’s it!  Bad, bad, Tasuki!  ~.~  Hm…FOUR couples with lemon? Well, I did three with lemon, I guess one more won’t hurt but I think FF.net might have something to say about that. LOL.  It’s a thought, though, you hentai little Fangirl.  I still remember you being responsible for a certain shower scene in ‘Once Upon a Dream’…  ((Hugs))

M-chan: LOL.  Zero Quatre?  Yes, I believe you’re right.  But that’s because he’s unhappy he’d hurt Ryu-chan, ne?  Just like Trowa made Quat all better, Ryu-chan will fix Tohma right up.  Heh, heh, heh, I’m so glad I’d put Ran/ken in.  So many people seem to like them!  *hopping up and down waving her Ran/Ken flag* Arigatou, no da!!!

Eeyaatoe: Thank you very much!!!  I hope you like this one as well!

MAJOR LEMON WARNING!!!  Please leave if you are not of age.

Sections in italic are Chichiri’s memories/flashback of his time in the ‘psychiatric home for trouble young men’.

Songs Of The Heart - Chapter 7: The Pain

By Moonraven


”Where the hell did the bike come from?” Tasuki eyed the black monstrosity with suspicion. Chichiri certainly didn’t come here on a motorcycle.

Chichiri turned an amused eye on Tasuki and climbed on the bike. “I left it here the last time I came.” He said smoothly as he handed Tasuki a helmet. “Get on.”

“Leaving so soon?” A hard tone had both men turn simultaneously towards the voice. Daisuke stood a few feet away, glaring at them contemptuously.

Tasuki sighed and deliberately moved to stand between the man and Chichiri. “Look, man, I think we got the message. Stay away. We are. So let it go already, okay?”

Daisuke ignored him and continued to address Chichiri. “A feisty new lover.” He sneered. “How soon we forget. It must be easy for you to move on, being the cold and heartless murderer that you are.”

“It’s not like I had a choice.” Chichiri’s calm voice sounded behind Tasuki. The redhead turned to look at his…lover? Could they be called that? Warmth spread through Tasuki at the thought of Chichiri as his lover…

“NO! You’re right; you didn’t have a choice. That was taken away when you killed my brother.” Daisuke’s voice was hard and unforgiving.

Tasuki watched the two men nervously. New lover? Were Chichiri and Hikou…lovers? Chichiri did not respond to Daisuke’s verbal attack but he clearly looked unhappy and frowned as he stared at the other man.

Daisuke snorted derisively. “Not denying it this time? Not going to claim memory loss again? Father should have killed you that time you came to the house. Had I been home, I would have torn you from limb to limb.” He moved slowly towards the man on the bike.

“Whoa, there, bud---”

“Tasuki.” Chichiri called calmly as he got off his bike. “It’s alright. Get on the bike and stay there.”

“I don’t think so.” Tasuki said softly as he continued to eye the advancing man.

Daisuke snickered and spared Tasuki a glance. “Don’t worry. There are way too many people here. I can wait. I’ve waited 10 years.” He came to a stop a couple of feet in front of Chichiri. “Not a very obedient pup, is he?” He asked Chichiri softly. “Into younger men now?”

Chichiri raised a hand to calm Tasuki when he heard the younger man growled. “He has his own mind. I like that.”

Tasuki wasn’t sure what he was witnessing. The tension between the two was beyond what he had experienced in the cemetery. There was something unsaid that hung heavily in the air. Daisuke was a few inches taller than Chichiri but the smaller man did not flinch as he stared back calmly. Tasuki felt an uncomfortable tug in his chest and he didn’t know why. It wasn’t fear for Chichiri’s safety; somehow he knew the man could take care of himself. It was that SOMETHING he felt in the air…

“Even with the scar, you haven’t changed much.” Daisuke said softly, almost to himself. “Seven people died and you came out with only a scar.” Daisuke reached up to trace the scar with surprising gentleness and Tasuki caught his breath. What the hell was going on?

Chichiri did not move. He continued to gaze silently into the black eyes of the taller man. The strange tugging in Tasuki chest was getting stronger; could THIS man be…?

“Did you tell him…everything?” Daisuke asked, suddenly bitter again. “Everything that you won’t tell us? Like WHY you killed Hikou?”

Pain flashed briefly across Chichiri’s face before he could school it back to the calm mask he customarily wore. Tasuki didn’t like this docile Chichiri. It wasn’t something he was accustomed to seeing in the usually strong man. Was this how Chichiri was as Houjun?

Chichiri looked away before he whispered, “I don’t remember.”

“You son of a---” Daisuke growled in annoyance. “Still singing the same old song?” He grabbed the front of Chichiri’s shirt and pulled the man up so that Chichiri’s face was only a couple of inches from his own. “Did you tell him about us? Did you tell him about the lover you betrayed when you killed Hikou?”

Tasuki finally understood the tension he felt between the two men. THEY were lovers not Chichiri and Hikou. Tasuki wondered with a sinking heart if that tension wasn’t some residual feelings, which was left unresolved.

Chichiri slowly clasped his hand over Daisuke’s and gently pulled it from his shirt. He shrugged to straighten his clothing; all the while his eye never left the burning black orbs.

“No.” He said softly. “I didn’t betray you, never purposely. I can’t explain what happened but if I could trade my life for theirs, I would have.” Chichiri voice shook slightly and he hastily looked away. It was unfortunate for him that the direction he looked took him right into Tasuki’s intense gaze and the agony he tried to hide was shown clearly to the redhead. Tasuki’s heart ached; there were so much pain and sorrow edged in every feature on Chichiri’s face. How much more did Chichiri need to suffer?

“Talk is cheap, Houjun. You’re alive and they’re not.” Daisuke continued but his voice lacked the vehemence it carried earlier. “Maybe this is fitting after all; live and know that you had destroyed lives. Live with yourself for that heinous crime, Houjun. Live with the fact that I will never forgive you.” He sneered at the man in front of him before turning to Tasuki. “I would stay away from him if I were you.” Daisuke smirked knowingly. “Didn’t you know everyone around Houjun either dies or suffers immeasurable pain?” He turned abruptly to Chichiri. “You didn’t tell him about your parents, either?”

Chichiri froze and color drained from his face as Daisuke laughed mirthlessly. “Typical. Of course you wouldn’t say anything that would chase away a good fuck but really, Houjun. Tsk, tsk. If you could kill off you par---”

“ENOUGH!” With speed Tasuki didn’t know he had, he found himself between the two men and he shoved Daisuke violently away from Chichiri. “What the hell do you know about what happened?” He shouted at the other man. “As I see it, NOBODY knows anything about that night. What do you know about what he’s been through? LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE!”

He grabbed the still silent Chichiri and shoved him towards the bike, handing him the helmet. Tasuki turned toward Daisuke who was getting to his feet some yards away. “You talked about betrayal, man, but YOU betrayed HIM when you turned against him when he needed you the most.” He got on the motorcycle in front of Chichiri and kicked the huge vehicle into life, silently praying that it wasn’t too different from the scooter he’d used before.

Tasuki was surprised to find the bike to be relatively easy to handle. He wasn’t sure what prompted him to drive the darn thing but he had to get Chichiri out of there; the man had literally shut down. Tasuki could feel Chichiri trembling slightly as the older man pressed into his back. If the redhead hadn’t been worried sick about the other man, his mind would have taken a rather different interpretation of that lean body behind him.

“Hang on, Chiri, I’m getting you home.” Tasuki shouted atop the noise of traffic and motorcycle engine. If Chichiri had heard it, he gave no indication and the redhead went to the closest place he could think of, his apartment.

He pulled into the underground parking and rolled the bike in next to his truck. “Okay, Chiri, we’re here.” He got off the bike and turned to the still silent Chichiri. The older man took off his helmet and gave Tasuki a blank look. When it appeared that Chichiri wasn’t getting up anytime soon, Tasuki gently took his elbow and helped him off the bike. “This way.” He led the older man up to his apartment and hoped that Chichiri wouldn’t think he was up to something. He just wanted to get Chichiri back to normal again. He wasn’t planning anything unscrupulous. He just didn’t like to see Chichiri like this; the meek man walking silently behind him was freaking him out major time.

When they got into his apartment, Tasuki led Chichiri to the couch. “Want a beer?” No, no, no. “Er…how about some tea?” Yeah, that’s better. Baka!

Silent. Chichiri stared straight ahead and gave no indication that he had heard Tasuki. The redhead came and knelt in front of Chichiri making their eyes leveled. “Chiri.”

Chichiri frowned slightly at the name but he stared right through Tasuki as if he wasn’t there.

“Chichiri.” Tasuki tried again a little louder. Nothing. Damn.

Tasuki swallowed hard and grabbed his phone. He dialed the NG labels office and asked for Ryuuichi.

“Tohma, here.” A soft voiced answered.

“Seguchi-san. This is Tasuki. Gomen, but I’m looking for Sakuma-san.”

“He’s here, just a minute, Tasuki.”

“TASUKI-I-I-I!!!” A deliriously cheerful voice nearly popped his eardrum. Tasuki held the phone away slightly and winced. ‘I sure hope he’s up to helping Chiri.’ Tasuki thought silently.

“Sakuma-san. Something’s wrong with Chichiri. Please, I don’t know what to do.” He glanced worriedly to the inanimate man on the couch.

“What happened?” Ryuuichi’s voiced dropped dramatically. “Where are you?”

Tasuki explained briefly and gave the other man directions to his place. He sighed in relief as he hung up. This was not how he had envisioned the day turning out. He sighed again as he sat down next to Chichiri. Hesitantly he took the other man’s hand and held it gently in his. Chichiri did not respond but he didn’t move away either. Tasuki took that to be a good sign.

“Chiri.” He called again and unconsciously brought Chichiri hand to his lips. He kissed the slim fingers tenderly. “Chiri, please be okay.” He whispered.

Suddenly realizing what he was doing, Tasuki gasped and hastily put Chichiri’s hand back down. Still the other man sat staring unseeingly ahead.

Okay…Tasuki thought and chewed on his lips. Maybe Chichiri needed a little hug. People feel better when they’re hugged…right?

Clearing his throat nervously, Tasuki scooted closer to the semi-conscious man and draped his arm over Chichiri’s shoulders. No reaction.

Swallowing hard, Tasuki pulled Chichiri against him. The other man’s head fell gently on his shoulder and Tasuki felt a stirring of something achingly sweet in the pit of his stomach. What was this feeling?

“Chiri.” Tasuki whispered as he stroked Chichiri’s hair. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Chiri. I promise.”

Tasuki wasn’t sure what he did but Chichiri relaxed completely against him, allowing the younger man to gather him closer in his arms. “That’s right, Chiri, just rest. I’ll take care of you.” It felt so natural and perfect to hold Chichiri in his arms. Tasuki had never felt anything so…right.

As he soothingly stroked the other man’s hair, his thoughts went back to the exact moment he had felt the change in Chichiri. Sure, the man was completely different when he was talking to Daisuke but he didn’t really snap until the mention of his parents.

“If you could kill off you par---” That’s what Daisuke was saying. Did he mean that Chichiri had killed his parents as well? What the hell?

As he was pondering the many mysteries of Chichiri, the door flew open and a wide-eyed Ryuuichi Sakuma rushed in with Tohma close behind.

Ryuuichi stopped short in front of them and stared at the embracing couple blankly. ‘Well, that was fast.’ He thought pleasantly.

“Anou…” Tasuki froze. “It’s…not what it looks like.” He said nervously. “I…he…”

Ryuuichi laughed and shook his head. “It’s okay, Tasuki-kun. This is exactly what I want.” He turned and smiled brightly at the stunned Tohma who could only blink at Tasuki blankly.

“Let’s get him into bed for now, shall we?” Ryuuichi suggested and looked pointedly at Tasuki.

“Er…here?” Tasuki squeaked.

“Yes. We really shouldn’t move him. His body should be stabilized when his mind returns.” Ryuuichi waited patiently while Tasuki absorbed what he said.

“Return?” Tasuki asked weakly. “Where did it go?”

Ryuuichi looked sadly at his lover and sighed. “When the pain is too much for him, he retreats to a safer place in his mind. He doesn’t usually remember anything, though, but he would be back to his normal self when he wakes up.”

“Normal…” Tasuki frowned. Which Chichiri was the ‘normal’ Chichiri?

Ryuuichi knelt in front of Chichiri and gently brushed away the bang covering his brows. He looked up at Tasuki and smiled sadly. “Remember what I told you the other day. You could help him heal, I know it.” He tapped Tasuki cheek gently. “Discover the real Chichiri together. He’s been waiting for you.” He got up and went to stand next to Tohma. “Come on, take him to bed while Tohma and I make tea.”

Tasuki got up carefully and scooped Chichiri up in his arms. As he carried Chichiri to his room, he turned and saw the other two men holding each other tenderly. He blinked several times in astonishment. O-kay…this is getting weirder and weirder…

When he returned to the living room, Tohma and Ryuuichi had three cups of tea on the coffee table and were sitting very close together. Very close.

Tasuki sat down on the floor across from them. He looked from Tohma to Ryuuichi and then back to Tohma again. “Am I missing something?”

Ryuuichi smiled and nodded. “Will you take care of Chichiri?”

“I don’t think it’s up to me. It’s not like he’s gonna want to be ‘taken cared of’.” Tasuki mumbled under his breath and shivered at the memories of the arctic glare.

Ryuuichi laughed softly. “I know what you mean, but you’ll find a way.” Ryuuichi became somber suddenly and leaned forward. “Tell me everything that was said to him?”

Tasuki went into great detail about what had occurred earlier that day. Well, except for the little incident in the tomb but from the colors on his cheeks and his struggle to bridge the gap, he was pretty sure they figured it out. Ryuuichi listened intently and nodded when Tasuki finished.

“Daisuke. I hadn’t counted on Chichiri meeting him again. We had kept the man away for so long.” He turned to Tohma. “What is he doing back in Tokyo?”

Tohma frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know but I’ll find out.”

Tasuki looked at the two men with disbelief. “You…you…” He didn’t know what to say. Do they just arrange people’s lives to suit their own?

“It was for their own good, Tasuki.” Tohma said quietly. “Chichiri needed to heal and Daisuke needed to be…well, kept from committing a murder. I just got him a really good job in another city, that’s all.” Yeah, on another island…

“Does Chichiri know?”

They looked at each other uncomfortably. “No.” They said in unison.

Tasuki threw up his hands and shook his head. “You know what? I didn’t hear nothing. I don’t know nothing. I sure as hell don’t want to be caught in one of your schemes. Beneficial or otherwise.”

The two men on the couch managed to look guilty even if it was briefly. “You saw how Chichiri was.” Ryuuichi said. “You saw what happened to him. Do YOU think keeping Dai away was a bad thing?”

Tasuki shook his head. “I don’t know…I’m not judging you, it’s just…well, I think he should know, that’s all.”

They were silent for a few moments before Ryuuichi said quietly. “He didn’t kill his parents.”

Tasuki looked up sharply and Ryuuichi continued. “It was a very difficult time for his parents; people harassed them constantly. That, coupled with the fact that they couldn’t see him broke his mother’s heart. She became very ill and not long after the incident, she passed away. People talked more after her death and Chichiri became a ‘curse’ to the people he knew. His father couldn’t take the stress, he loved Chichiri so much, and he just couldn’t believe the things they were saying about his son. At that time, no one was allowed to see Chichiri. His father didn’t know if he was dead or alive.” Ryuuichi paused and sighed heavily. “He committed suicide a few months after his wife’s death. You could imagine what people say after that. We didn’t know any of this then; I didn’t even know Chichiri. Poor Eiri was the only one that wouldn’t give up on Chichiri.”

The older man looked at Tasuki intently. “What happened to his parents was the hardest thing for Chichiri. You mustn’t bring it up. I probably shouldn’t have told you, he’d be so angry but you need to understand what happened today. If you’re going to be with him, if you’re going to help him, you’d need to understand the trigger.”

A crashing sound came from the bedroom and the three men were jolted out of their thoughts. They rushed towards the sound and fell back a step when glowing red light burst from the bedroom doorway. Tasuki gasped as he remembered seeing the light twice earlier that day. Shielding his eyes, he rushed through the doorway and made his way towards the bed where he knew Chichiri was.

As abruptly as it had appeared, the light disappeared, revealing Chichiri thrashing and panting on the bed. Tohma and Ryuuichi came to stand on the other side of the bed and Ryuuichi motioned for Tasuki to get in the bed.

“Nani?” Tasuki looked incredulously at Ryuuichi.

“He needs to be held! Like you did on the sofa. Comfort him, he’s back in that…place!” Ryuuichi nearly choked on his emotions as he watched his former lover whimper in pain. Tohma took Ryuuichi in his arms and motioned that Tasuki should do the same with Chichiri.

Tasuki looked at the writhing man on the bed and his heart nearly broke. What horrors had Chichiri gone through? He climbed between the sheets and pulled Chichiri into his arms while whispering soothing words to the trembling man. He rocked Chichiri gently and tried to emulate what he did on the couch when Chichiri had relaxed almost immediately.

“Shh…Chiri. It’s okay; I’m here, Chiri. Nothing's going to hurt you, I’m here. Shh…” Chichiri stopped thrashing about and clutched at Tasuki’s shirt tightly. He continued to whimper but his trembling had stopped. Chichiri snuggled into Tasuki chest and gave a small moan as he slowly relaxed. Within a few minutes his breathing was deep and steady, signaling that he had fallen asleep.

Ryuuichi and Tohma looked at each other and smiled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cold. Everything was so very cold.

He couldn’t move. He was strapped down again. The pain throbbed continuously from the various places where tubes stuck out of his body. Were there more tubes this time? He’d lost count of them.

“He’s awake again, damn it!” Oh, them. They were here. How could he have forgotten about them?

“Give him another doze quickly. I don’t want him awake, when I’M in here!” Why were they so afraid of him?

He tried to open his eyes but he was so tired. He gasped. More pain. Always pain.

Then blessed darkness consumed him again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Houjun.”

Who’s calling him…?

“Houjun!”

No, go away. He wanted to go back to the darkness where he couldn’t feel anything.

“How much did you give him?”

“Five cc.”

“Are you crazy? You’ll kill him!”

“Better him than us!”

“Fools! He’s just a kid! Houjun, wake up!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pain filled his consciousness as more tests were conducted. He couldn’t feel his own hands; everything was so numb from the constant probing. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to die…

“No, Chichiri.” A hoarse voice said from the void of blackness surrounding him.

“Chichiri.” A woman’s voice called. “Remember your training, Chichiri.” She sounded so old…so familiar…

Who was this…Chichiri?

“You are Chichiri.”

No, I’m Houjun.

“You are one and the same. Strength, Chichiri. You have always been the one with the strength. Do not give up.”

Tired. I’m tired. Make them go away. Please.

“Remember your training, Chichiri…”

What training?

“Remember and you can make the pain go away.”

Remember…?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Find me, Chiri. You promised.” A strong male voice urged.

Who’s that? Who’re you?

“I’m waiting, Chiri.” Warm arms enveloped him and he didn’t feel the cold or the pain. “Chiri…” He felt loved and he felt safe…

“I love you, Chiri.” Warmth and contentment spread throughout his body as the tender arms tightened their hold on him.

“Don’t leave me alone…”

“Never, Chiri. I’ll always be with you.”

Who are you…?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tasuki closed the front door after Ryuuichi and Tohma. They had decided that it was best to leave Chichiri with Tasuki and that they were no longer needed. He looked at the clock and sighed. Chichiri had been sleeping for 3 hours. Tasuki went to the kitchen and got a drink for the man in case he was thirsty when he woke up.

He paused before entering the bedroom. Was he strong enough to deal with this? Was he really what Chichiri needed? Tasuki couldn’t see the man needing anybody, yet the memory of him chasing Chichiri’s nightmares away was still vivid in his mind.

“Where am I?”

Chichiri’s voice from the bed greeted Tasuki as he walked in the bedroom. The older man was sitting up in bed and fingering the cut near his temple.

“You’re at my place. Feeling better?” Tasuki came to stand by the bed and held out a glass of water.

Chichiri stared hard at him and Tasuki wondered what happened to the man in the tomb, the one who had smiled at him and held him. It was as if none of that had happened; Chichiri was back to being the iceberg and Tasuki felt a clenching pain in his chest.

“Okay…I guess you ARE feeling better.” He put the glass down on the nightstand and gave Chichiri a small smile. “What do you…um…remember?”

Chichiri’s eye narrowed as he peered at Tasuki. “Are you worried that I’d forget what we did? Or forget what I had wanted to do?” A small cruel smile touched the icy lips and Tasuki colored brightly.

“NO!” He protested hotly. “I was just…well, you were out for hours! I…was worried.” Red faced, Tasuki was appalled that he couldn’t come up with a more scathing reply. This was SO unlike him.

Chichiri frowned and looked away. “No need. I’m fine.” He threw off the blanket and swung his feet off the bed. “How did we get here?”

“Your bike.” Tasuki told him.

“Where is it?”

“In the garage downstairs.”

“Good. I’m leaving.” Chichiri stood up, bringing him face to face with Tasuki. The younger man took a step back and swallowed. Chichiri was so close yet he was so far away. Why couldn’t he reach the other man? Why wouldn’t Chichiri let him in?

“Are…are you sure you should? I mean…” What the hell are you doing? Get him the fuck gone! Good riddance!

Chichiri did not move but stared dispassionately at Tasuki.

“I mean…” Tasuki swallowed and tried again. “Could you ride that thing…now?”

Chichiri smirked and took a step closer to Tasuki. “I can ride anything, anytime.” He said softly as he allowed his eye to roam the other man’s body.

Tasuki stopped breathing. Blood rushed to various parts of his body and the redhead was shocked to find that he had absolutely no control over his body’s reaction to Chichiri. What was the man doing? How could he be so damn cold one minute and then so fucking HOT the next?

Chichiri took a step back and shook his head. “You don’t want to be near me. Don’t you remember what the man said?”

“You remember that?” Tasuki took a big gulp of air, earning an amused glance from Chichiri. “Sakuma-san said you wouldn’t remember…”

“Ryuuichi knows?” Chichiri’s frown was back. “Where is he?”

“He came and went…with Seguchi-san.” He said hesitantly. Did Chichiri know about the other two?

A graceful brow quirked and a small, genuine smile touched Chichiri’s lips. “Good.” He said softly, as if to himself. “Very good, indeed.”

Tasuki shook his head in resignation. He had decided sometime ago that understanding the relationships between these men at NG Label was an impossibility, but…what was to become of him and Chichiri? What of Chichiri and Ryuuichi? Was the man just playing with him?

Chichiri gave Tasuki a steady gaze before he reached up and caressed a strand of fiery hair. “Stay away from me, Tasuki. I’m not good for anyone.” He told the redhead quietly.

Before Chichiri could take his hand away, Tasuki brought his up and gripped it firmly. “I’m not a very obedient pup, remember? I do have my own mind.” He reminded Chichiri. “It’s just…”

Chichiri looked at his captured wrist curiously then turned puzzled eye to Tasuki. “It’s just…what?”

“I…I’ve never…well…” Tasuki struggled with the many thoughts plaguing his mind. “And what about Sakuma-san? You know…” He trailed away licking his lips nervously. He drew in a shaky breath as he saw desire glinting in Chichiri’s brown eye.

“What about him?” Chichiri pulled Tasuki to him and wrapped the younger man firmly in his arms. “Didn’t he look happy to you?” He nuzzled Tasuki’s neck and swiped his tongue along the slender column.

“But…but you’re, you know…aren’t you together?” Chichiri’s lips and tongue were making speech near impossible and Tasuki thought it best to just give up; he had better things to do with his own mouth anyway.

Tasuki threw back his head giving Chichiri better access to his throat. He sighed contentedly as Chichiri took the invitation and roamed the silken skin.

“Chiri…” Tasuki moaned as Chichiri’s hand found the hardened flesh between his legs. “Gods…Chiri…”

Chichiri froze momentarily and pulled away to look uncertainly at Tasuki. “What did you call me?”

Tasuki blinked stupidly at the question and shrugged. “Chiri? Um…if you don’t like it I’ll go back to Chichiri but it’s a mouthful, man.” He smiled at the other man.

Chichiri searched his face intently before shaking his head. He looked as if he was trying to remember something but couldn’t. “No, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter.” But the troubled frown between his brows clearly said otherwise. Tasuki pulled away slightly but remained within the circle of Chichiri’s arms.

“Look, it’s been a long day for you. So if you don’t…you know… I mean if you want to leave…” Gods, I am so fucked up, I can’t even put a decent sentence together.

Chichiri snapped out of his thoughts and shifted his gaze to the nervous pink tongue flickering out to moisten soft, firm lips. “Do you want me to leave?” He asked softly, not taking his eye off the delectable lips.

“…No.”

“Are you sure about that?” Chichiri was giving him every opportunity to say no but Tasuki had already made up his mind. He wanted this man and only this man.

“Yes.” He said firmly and leaned in to cover Chichiri’s lips with his own. So soft, so strong, so sweet…

Chichiri suckled on Tasuki’s lower lip, eliciting a soft moan from the redhead. His hot tongue delved ardently between Tasuki’s parted lips encouraging the younger man to reciprocate just as fervently. Chichiri’s urgent hands pulled on his clothing and Tasuki was only too happy to comply. Within minutes they found themselves naked and rubbing against each other, panting heavily.

“Sit.” Chichiri gave Tasuki a small push and the redhead found himself sitting on the edge of the bed. Chichiri knelt between his knees and spread them wide. Just seeing the man between his legs nearly doubled the strength of Tasuki’s erection and he groaned deep in his throat while his swollen flesh dripped and pulsed with desire.

Chichiri took Tasuki’s arousal in his hand and gently squeezed the head while running his thumb across the tip, smearing the precious liquid across the top. He bent his head and lapped at the moisture and suckled gently at the small slit.

“Chiri!” Tasuki cried as he tried to thrust his hips into the strong hand. “Please…”

Chichiri took the quivering shaft deep into his mouth and gently pushed Tasuki back on the bed. He pushed one of Tasuki’s legs up on the bed, exposing the younger man’s small entrance for his exploration.

Tasuki mewed in protest when the incredible heat left his aching shaft and he thrust his hips up, hoping for more friction. He groaned in satisfaction when Chichiri’s hand came up and took a firm hold of his arousal. What he wasn’t prepared for was the hot moisture that lapped at his opening and his eyes shot open wide.

“Chiri…?” Tasuki squeaked in panic.

“Shh…relax.” Came the ultra sexy voice that he couldn’t disobey, even if he had wanted to. Relax…easier said than done when his body was strung so tight.

Tasuki choked back a cry as Chichiri’s hot tongue probed gently at the small entrance, wetting it, stimulating it. Alarm gave way to raw need and he arched into Chichiri’s grip, moaning and calling out the man’s name. He had never felt anything this intense, this erotic; Chichiri was bringing out sensations he had never known existed.

Chichiri pumped Tasuki’s erection vigorously and gathered the dripping moisture with his fingertips. He removed his hand and replaced that with his mouth as he engulfed Tasuki’s thick shaft. His slicked fingers moved down to caress and rub at the sensitive entrance to the redhead’s body. Tasuki moaned loudly as he thrashed on the bed. What was this emptiness he felt?

“Chiri?” Tasuki whimpered. “Please…gods…please…” He thrust up into the wet heat and cried out as Chichiri’s finger pressed gently into his body. “Gods, yes!”

Chichiri made quick small thrusts with his finger as he sucked hard on Tasuki’s aching shaft. Tasuki was near tears; he didn’t know what he wanted to feel more of, the hot vacuum on his arousal or the strange yet intoxicating thrusting that was so new to him.

But it seemed that Chichiri knew what he needed. A second finger slipped in and the suction on his engorged length increased. Tasuki felt the rush of heat intensified at the core of his being and he thrust deep into Chichiri’s waiting mouth as his essence surged out of him in violent spurts. His back arched off the bed as he shouted out his release and Chichiri’s fingers thrust deep into him, magnifying the incredible sensation coursing through him.

Tasuki panted in exhaustion as he settled back on the bed. He felt the bed shift and he opened his eyes to see Chichiri hovering above him. The man’s fingers were still embedded deep inside him and Tasuki groaned when those fingers began moving in and out. Chichiri’s mouth came down on his urgently and Tasuki gasped when he tasted himself. He had thought he might be disgusted but he found that it was actually quite erotic; they were sharing his essence.

Chichiri pressed his steely need onto Tasuki’s hardening length and rocked steadily into him. The friction on his renewing arousal and the insistent fingers brought more moans to Tasuki’s lips and he wrapped his legs around Chichiri’s waist, pulling those fingers deeper into him.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Chichiri whispered in his ear as he continued the maddening rocking and thrusting.

“Are you fucking nuts? Yes!” He met Chichiri’s fingers thrust for thrust, grinding his own aching flesh into Chichiri. “Stop and I’ll kill you.” He arched into the older man, inviting him to do more.

Chichiri chuckled and pulled away.

“What---” Tasuki frowned and tightened his legs around Chichiri’s waist.

“I need lubricant.” Chichiri explained and laughed at the reddening Tasuki. “You have something?” He asked the redhead.

“Er…no.” He never used lubricant, not even when jerking off.

“Lotion, cream, Vaseline…?” Chichiri prompted.

“Do I fucking look like a woman? Lotion? Give me a break.” Tasuki growled. “I don’t need lubricant, just…finish it. Please, Chiri.” He urged, rocking up into the hard flesh above him.

Chichiri groaned at the pressure and pressed back. “No, you need lube. Hold on.” He reached for something in his clothing and produced a tube of the said stuff. Tasuki eyed him suspiciously.

“Where the hell did that come from?” It was a fairly big tube and Tasuki was sure the man didn’t have THAT on him earlier.

Chichiri shrugged and squeezed some on his fingers. “I’m always prepared.” He slipped two slicked fingers back in Tasuki and the redhead sighed ecstatically. Fleeting thoughts of a reply came to mind but Tasuki couldn’t voice them. He was too busy feeling to form any coherent thoughts.

“No…” He whined when Chichiri removed his fingers but the rest of the sentence never formed. Something much bigger than the man’s fingers pressed against his aching opening and Tasuki whimpered in need.

“Chiri…” He moaned.

Chichiri pressed in slowly, driving the redhead nearly insane with want. Tasuki tried pulling the older man closer but Chichiri wouldn’t have it. He continued in slow his pace until he was fully seated in his young lover. Tasuki understood then what he had needed. The emptiness he had felt earlier was gone. This fulfilling sensation spread warmth throughout his being. He felt complete, whole; something he had never felt before.

“You alright?” Chichiri asked, panting slightly. Tasuki marveled at the man’s control; the redhead came once already and he was itching for another release, yet here was Chichiri, taking his sweet time.

Tasuki looked into the warm brown eye and nodded. Warm. The ice was gone. Chichiri looked concerned but when Tasuki arched up and thrust up into him, he relaxed and slowly moved in and out of the younger man. Tasuki knew that Chichiri’s concern for his first time had made the other man careful. He was touched. Maybe he had gotten to Chichiri after all.

Tasuki growled deep in his throat and bucked violently when Chichiri’s hand gripped his neglected arousal. The older man increased his pace and vigorously pumped Tasuki’s throbbing flesh. Tasuki’s vision blurred and he arched up into hand that was bringing him to his second completion.

Chichiri continued to pound into him as Tasuki shouted out his orgasm, dragging the intense convulsions from his sensitized body. Chichiri moaned as he came, thrusting deep inside Tasuki. The sensation of being filled brought their love making to another level and Tasuki felt tears filled his eyes. Was this what he had been missing all this time? This complete and utter sense of contentment, of total bliss and pure joy? Was this man what he had been waiting for?

He reached up and pulled Chichiri down on top of him and kissed him tenderly. “Chiri.” He sighed, totally sated. “I love you, Chiri.” He murmured.

Tasuki gasped and held his breath. He couldn’t believe he had said that. He had never said that to anyone let alone a man. A man who had treated him with cold hostility, no less. Tasuki sensed Chichiri’s shock as well. The man froze and Tasuki wished with all his might that he could take it back.

“Masaka…” Chichiri hissed and pushed off Tasuki. “Masaka...”  A frown creased his beautiful face as stared down at the younger man in confusion.

“I’m…sorry…I…” Tasuki paused. What could he say? He didn’t mean it? But he did. He understood those strange aching feelings now. He knew he loved Chichiri; he had for a while now. He just couldn’t understand why he did but he knew it didn’t matter.

“No.” Chichiri muttered under his breath. He pushed himself off the bed and began dressing. “Don’t say that. Never say that.” He said coldly to the stunned man on the bed. “It was just sex, Tasuki. A good lay. A fuck. That was all.”

Chichiri was out the door before Tasuki could form a reply. The redhead stared numbly at the empty room before he slowly got up and went to look out the bedroom window. Tasuki saw the familiar black figure rode off on the motorcycle, taking his heart with him.

Tears fell silently down Tasuki’s face as he felt the agony of his soul tearing.

Why, Chiri?

TBC…