February 3rd - Balance Today was an interesting day.  Yesterday was pretty good too.  I feel as though I am finding some inner peace or balance - sounds silly eh?  I strongly believe though that mind and body, emotional and physical, are very inter-related.  So, if I take better care of my body, if I create more balance in my physical being, surely it makes sense that it is reflected in my emotional well-being.  That's my theory anyway, and I'm sticking to it. The discipline that I have found in my eating is spreading to other areas of my life.  I am more disciplined in being cleaner and tidier around the house, something that has been a struggle.  I think that in forcing myself to create a routine around my eating, it is a scaffolding or structure to which I can now attach other areas of need.  Today my bicycle got stolen when I went into the city to do some shopping.  I am disappointed and angry, but it has not shaken me at all in my purpose.  I haven't resorted to comfort eating,  I didn't scream, yell or sob.  Perhaps I would have coped the same if it was four weeks ago, who knows?  However, I feel a peace in me.  I don't know how else to describe it. My relationships is also very good at the moment.  There are a few reasons why this might be, but hey, it all fits into the big barrel of being constructive, being reflective, being considered, and being responsible for choices.  These are themes that are much BIGGER than just the issue of losing weight, but often most visibly and succinctly reflected in the issues of eating and weight. I plan to be a successful woman in my life, not because I do great things, but because I choose to do the little things well.  Also, because I believe through my experiences of pain I have learnt much about priorities and responsibility.  And right now, I am going to keep taking responsibility for my health. Approximately 2 years ago, I was left very damaged and with very few resources after a disastrous relationship.  I made some very poor attempts at recovery; they were short term and unsuccessful - much like a fad diet.  However, with each bungled attempt I learned something, and put these lessons together.  I sound conceited in describing this I know, but I have to be realistic about what I've achieved and how.  I buggered up a lot of things, I hurt some people in the process, and I certainly hurt me.  Somehow I built it up.  Piece by piece I put things right in my life.  Just small things a bit at a time.  I built foundations.  It takes longer to build something if you put in foundations, but it lasts much longer.  Some things have no quick fix - only time and work will build something solid.  I still have much to build.  I am only at the beginning of the job of looking after my health, but I believe I am doing it with solid foundations.  And, when I look at them, they are the foundations of a place I want to be for the rest of my life. I have done the same thing in my current relationship, and I feel similarly about being in for the long haul with him. What a stream of consciousness hey?  It makes sense though, at least to me.  Solid foundations in all areas of my life - a good goal. <<Back     Home    Next>>