February 24th - Kickin' Around Well, today has been fine as far as eating goes, but a pretty slow day otherwise. Sometimes I just can't quite think of what to do with myself, and today was one of those days. I have actually spent a good deal of it setting up a new machine because my old one decided to kick the technological bucket. Makes you realise how much you rely on your net contact when transmission is temporarily halted. Flopsy and I rode into the city on our motorcycles and did some shopping, but for the most part we've kicked around at home. Sometimes I feel as though I should be doing more with my life, but hell, it's tiring. I am supposed to be working on my links page as well, but this machine doesn't support the tool I've been using to build my web pages. Today's entry is actually being created with a bit of cut and paste so I'm hoping it works. If you're reading this, assume the best. I plan to become a bit more technologically advanced in order to create my links page and write it in something a bit more wizz-bang. I've been thinking some more about the self-discipline idea I was discussing yesterday and have come to the conclusion that it might sound judgemental. I want to be very clear that I don't feel judgemental toward people who are struggling with self-discipline in some area of their life because I do understand it. It's just again one of those areas in my life (and in my observation of others) that puzzles me. Why can I be self-disciplined about some things at some times (with relative ease) and for other areas it eludes me? That was why I was trying to boil it down to the underlying beliefs - to help me identify some specific areas to focus on. Concepts like motivation and self-discipline are difficult to boil down into nuts and bolts. So far I'm happy with the five points I came up with, but I'm open to challenge. I also said I would think some more about emotional eating, but I really feel like I need to give this more thought. I wrote about my chocolate addiction a few days ago, and it certainly is the best example of emotional eating that springs to mind when I reflect on myself. Flopsy will back me up on this one - you wouldn't believe how many times I practically begged him to go to the shops for me to buy chocolate. What's the poor guy to do when he knows I will be upset later on for having eaten it. I must give him full credit for gently asking me whether I was sure if I wanted, or encouraging me to walk to the shop myself to get it (this was before I had my own transport). I think I even offered him fifty bucks a couple of times to go get it. Sometimes I find it hard to reconcile the person I was then with the person I am now. They feel very different, and I'm not quite sure how I brought about the change. That kinda worries me...because I'm scared I might change back just as quickly. <<Back Home Next>>