Lately, I've taken to listening to analog tape again, and today I found two old ones.
One is a two-hour tape, and its label reads "A Night At Rocky."
I know what this is. It's a tape I made back in 1990 or 1991 of my friends and I at The Rocky Horror Picture Show in New York. I couldn't have been older than twenty.
It's really something to hear what you were like ten years ago. As I listened to it on the bus, it occured to me how less hyper I am these days.
This is relatively speaking, of course.
It's not that I'm disgusted with myself at age twenty--just amused. Spouting things that I think are not only funny, but pearls of amusement that everyone can enjoy.
(Yeah, yeah, like I'm so different, now, I know.)
Back then, I was the kind of kid who would continue jokes that other people had the good sense to stop telling.
The kind of kid other people told to calm down a lot.
The other tape is a black TDK says "It's alive...Alive!!!" on Side A, and "O, Happy dagger!" on Side B, in my handwriting (actually messier than it is now, if you can believe it). I scan the tape for which year, and find nothing. I'm guessing around 1987, though.
The names on both sides mean absolutely nothing in regards to what is on them. (I think Side A was supposed to have the song "Weird Science" on it, but I probably couldn't afford it at the time)
I decided to listen to the tape, as far as I could go, without fast-forwarding. I was curious. What did I listen to back then?
The first song was "Money (The Best Things In Life Are Free)," performed by the Flying Lizards. This was from my mom's record collection. I think someone gave it to her as a gag gift back in the 70's.
After that were some instrumentals from (dig this) the first Miami Vice soundtrack album. I, for some reason, was really into synth instrumentals back then (I was a big fan of Harold Faltermeyer, and, of course, Jan Hammer).
After that, (here's where it gets embarrassingly stereotypical) was a series of "Weird Al" Yankovic songs, starting with "Ricky," then into "Gotta Boogie."
Little side note here about "Gotta Boogie." I had a friend at the time who really hated Weird Al--he thought all his songs were too offensive to find funny. In particular, he hated "Gotta Boogie." (The punchline to this song is that the rest of the chorus goes "Gotta Boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off.")
I have always found it odd that anyone could find Weird Al offensive--what was even stranger was that this kid cursed like a sailor and (like all kids our age, which was about 13 or so) loved fart jokes.
"Buckingham Blues" was up next, and that was Weird Al's riff on Prince Charles and Lady Di--then still married--and how perfect their life was. A lyric almost chilling, today: "And Lady Di, well, she must have it rough/Gotta hang around the house all day makin' babies and stuff..."
Side A ended in the middle of "Another One Rides The Bus," and I flipped it over.
The next side had more Weird Al, but I could hear that I had clearly recorded over something else--a song a friend of mine played on synth that was like a medley of all our favorite instrumentals--"Axel F," "Shoot Out," "Fletch," that kind of thing...
...And I had taped over it.
This friend of mine was someone who I had been friends with in middle school, but during freshman year that changed.
He and a friend of his flat-out told me that I (and a couple of my other friends) wasn't cool enough to hang out with any more, and that they were going to take a break from me.
What kills me is that up to this point, this kid--we'll call him "Damon"-- was my best friend--we'd had sleepovers, for God's sake.
I made another friend--this friend being the infamous Chris Baker--and eventually, he and I became best friends.
Later that year, I ran into Damon in the school hallway. I said hi, before I remembered that I was still mad at him.
He told me that we should probably talk. I agreed and told him to call me.
Later that day, Baker and I were hanging out at my house.
The phone rang.
I picked it up.
"Hey, Rob, it's Damon."
I hung up.
We haven't spoken since.
What I find really funny about the whole thing is that he stopped being my friend because I wasn't cool, and out of spite I tape over a song he played for me with a Weird Al song.
It's really amazing what those early friendships mean to you.
Even now.
Click here, buddy. You look like you could use it.
Okay, the Annual Oscar Pool is BACK! The rules are the same - pick one winner in EVERY category below. Points will be awarded as follows: 3 points apiece for Picture and Director, 2 points for the acting and writing categories plus this year's new category, Best Animated Feature, and 1 point apiece for everything else. If there is a tie in points for the winner, we will go to the tiebreaker question (see bottom of page).
Here are my answers, with my reasons. Again, this is who should win, just who I think will win.
BEST PICTURE (3 points) A BEAUTIFUL MIND (Universal and DreamWorks) A Universal Pictures and Imagine Entertainment Production Brian Grazer and Ron Howard, Producers
My reasoning here is for the same reason behind my Best Director guess. See below.
BEST DIRECTOR (3 points) A BEAUTIFUL MIND (Universal and DreamWorks) Ron Howard
He's the director that's pissed off the fewest amount of people. Plus, he's good enough to legitimize a win.
BEST ACTOR (2 points) Russell Crowe in "A Beautiful Mind" (Universal and DreamWorks)
He's the favorite, what can I say? Plus, "I Am Sam," has more or less been recognized for what it is: Shameless Oscar Bait. I'd like Denzel to win it (and there's a good chance of that), but I doubt that the Academy will want to recognise "Training Day" any more than it has.
BEST ACTRESS (2 points) Sissy Spacek in "In the Bedroom" (Miramax)
In the Best Actress category, it usually goes to the most unglamourous performance--so that makes this Spacek's game.
(Okay, that sounds way more insulting than I wanted it to.)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (2 points) Ben Kingsley in "Sexy Beast" (Fox Searchlight)
The Supporting Actor Oscars typically go to the edgiest (or funniest) roles. Name me one actor this year who was edgier than Kingsley in "Sexy Beast," and I'm totally seeing that movie with you Sunday.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS (2 points) Jennifer Connelly in "A Beautiful Mind" (Universal and DreamWorks)
Lately, it seems like the Academy decides that it's okay to vote for someone attractive for best supporting actress, and Connelly's about the most attactive actress there is.
That said, I think she's really grown and taken some chances in her career (after "Career Opportunities," can you blame her?)--She's due.
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY (2 points) A BEAUTIFUL MIND (Universal and DreamWorks) Written by Akiva Goldsman
Every year, there's at least one Oscar that goes to someone completely undeserving. This year, I'm thinking Akiva "Batman And Robin" Goldsman.
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY (2 points) MEMENTO (Newmarket Films) Screenplay by Christopher Nolan Story by Jonathan Nolan
...but "Royal Tenenbaums" is real close behind. Ever since "Pulp Fiction" and "The Usual Suspects," the Original Screenplay Oscar usually goes to a crime drama.
I'll be honest. I want there to be a tie between "Tenenbaums" and "Memento."
This is the only Oscar I give an annual damn about.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE (new category this year!) (2 points) MONSTERS, INC. (Buena Vista) Nominee to be determined
I'm excited about this, I'll be honest. "Shrek" is strong, and very good, but it's too much for teens to have Oscar stamp its approval on it.
Plus, the Academy loves Pixar. Loves, loves, LOOOVES Pixar.
For once, the Academy loves, loves, LOOOVES someone who actually deserves it.
I loved "Shrek," but "Monsters, Inc" (which, by the way, had my blubbering like a little sissy girl when Sully says "Kitty has to go now.") is simply the better film.
ART DIRECTION (1 point) AMÉLIE (Miramax Zoë) Art Direction: Aline Bonetto Set Decoration: Marie-Laure Valla
It's a foreign film. Period.
CINEMATOGRAPHY (1 point) AMÉLIE (Miramax Zoë) Bruno Delbonnel
"A foriegn fim! That means shots of countrysides! And that looks so beautiful. Sure countrysides are the easiest fucking things in the world to shoot, but still, we should stick to tradition."
In other words, I think "The Man Who Wasn't There" should win it.
COSTUME DESIGN (1 point) GOSFORD PARK (USA Films) Jenny Beavan
The Academy always seems to go halfway on this one. They never go for the most outlandish costumes, but they never stay too reserved, either.
There's more than one costume drama on the list here, but this year I think they'll go with this. "Affair Of The Necklace" seems to obvious to get the Oscar. Just a gut feeling.
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE (1 point) CHILDREN UNDERGROUND A Belzberg Films Production Edet Belzberg
"Oh, those poor, poor children. And they're underground! I must show my support."
That, and it's the first film on the list, and it sounds like something other people may have seen.
DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT (1 point) ARTISTS AND ORPHANS: A TRUE DRAMA A Not by Chance Production Lianne Klapper McNally
"Oh, those poor, poor children. And they're artists! And Orphans! I must show my support."
Plus, again, it's the first one on the list.
And in the words of Ron Silver, "this is the most anticipated award because whoever guesses the Documentary Short Oscar invariably goes on to win the pool."
FILM EDITING (1 point) THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (New Line) John Gilbert
The idea here being that anyone who can handle that much film for one movie really deserves an Oscar.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM (1 point) AMÉLIE A UGC Images Production France
It's the foreign film that everyone has heard of. Period.
MAKEUP (1 point) THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS (New Line) Peter Owen and Richard Taylor
If it has creatures and it's nominated, it'll win.
ORIGINAL SCORE (1 point) A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE (Warner Bros.) John Williams
Williams is the Academy's default setting, and it'd be like giving Kubrick a posthumous Oscar.
ORIGINAL SONG (1 point) (and can you remember ANY of these songs? I thought not) "May It Be" from "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" (New Line)
I personally remembered (and liked) the song from "Monsters, Inc," but this award never goes to the funny song. It goes to the wispy song. I don't remember this song at all, but it was probably wispy.
Wispy.
Wispy.
Wispy.
ANIMATED SHORT FILM (1 point) FOR THE BIRDS A Pixar Animation Studios Production Ralph Eggleston
Since this played in front of "Monsters, Inc.," most people have seen it.
Plus, it's Pixar, who the Academy loves, loves, LOOOOOVES.
And it kicks ass.
LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM (1 point) COPY SHOP A Virgil Widrich/Multimediaproduktions G.m.b.H. Production Virgil Widrich
"Hey, I hear these kids worked in a Copy Shop just to fund this movie! Now, that's determination. Of course, I don't know that for sure, since I didn't see the movie and that's just a story in my head I made up, but that's the way I'm voting anyway."
SOUND (1 point) THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (New Line) Christopher Boyes, Michael Semanick, Gethin Creagh and Hammond Peek
This is the only category action movies ever win.
SOUND FX EDITING (1 point) MONSTERS, INC. (Buena Vista) George Watters II and Christopher Boyes
Hey, everybody! Who does the Academy love, love, LOOOOVE?
VISUAL EFFECTS (1 point) THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (New Line) Jim Rygiel, Randall William Cook, Richard Taylor and Mark Stetson
Because if "Pearl Harbor" wins anything, Michael Bay will never shut the fuck up about it.
TIEBREAKER
For the tiebreaker question, I'm bringing back an old favorite: Of the ten women nominated for acting Oscars, which one will wear the most hideous outfit? (Correct answer to be determined by general consensus.) Halle Berry
This is what we call a no-brainer.
If you liked me, you really, really, liked me, you'd click here.
Comments by: YACCS