Never Open Your Doors in a Flood
and Other Important Things to Know

Or, "Life's Lessons and Other Stuff"

Preface

This story -- or collection of stories and other thoughts -- represents among other things a number of lessons learned the hard way in life.  I'm writing this for exactly one reason: every time I learned something the hard way I thought "Gee, I wish I knew about that already." Either that or I don't trust my memory so much these days....but more on that later.

I'm not a writer, although I have co-authored a book. I'm a techie. It was a technical book. It puts even me to sleep. I tell you this because this leads to the first of several caveats throughout the book. CAVEAT: Techies have a really weird view of the world. If men come from Mars and women come from Venus (later I'll prove this to be categorically  untrue!), techies would come from Pluto (it took great restraint for me to not say "Uranus"). So, when you find you disagree completely with what I say, remember that it's probably true on my planet.

Oh yeah, you might want to read these in order....  If you want to get some of the later jokes, you have to suffer through the earlier stuff.

And one more thing: If anyone reading this knows a good way to get water out of the map pockets of car doors, please let me know.

Thanks.

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