5. Quotable Quotes and What They Mean, part 1

Well, I've run into a lot of quotations in my day (particularly from recently skimming through Reader's Digest and The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, but humor me). But I also remember a few great lines from other places as well. Some of these may require more explanation than others, but what the hell, you've read this far. This piece looks at quotes, sayings, lyrics and other such things and explains them for the common man. Oh yeah, I also rate them from 0 to 5 happy faces.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself (Franklin D. Roosevelt) This is really deep. It turns out to be true most of the time, too. And it scares the crap out of me.  This is how recessions get started and get propagated; basically, consumers and businesses slow down spending because they are afraid of this thing called a recession -- which basically means a contraction in the economy -- which is basically caused by a slow down in consumer and business spending. Oh, the actual quote is So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terrror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. Good stuff.  I like it much better than Alan Greenspan's "irrational exuberance" speech. Of course, FDR's speech was a good 65 years before I had any idea what the phrase "margin call" meant.... ☻☻☻☻

Ich bin ein Berliner (John F. Kennedy) Literally, I believe this translates into "I am Berlin," or "I am a Berliner" (i.e., person living in Berlin). I'm told a berliner is also the name of a German pastry, making this the rough equivalent of "I am a jelly doughnut." You decide. ☻☺

I don't need the truth. I need something better than the truth. (Frank C., a childhood friend) Yup, we just got busted doing something or other. This quote came in that brief period of time we had to get our stories straight. Someone (I think it was actually my brother) suggested that we have no choice but to come clean. Ha! Maybe you had to be there. ☻☻☻☻

I have spoken with my wife, and she is very interesting. (S.Y.) Some context here. Two co-workers were also players in an a local amateur theatre company that was about to put on a musical. They emailed an invitation to a third co-worker, an engineer visiting us from Japan. His reply has become somewhat of a timeless classic (ah, the beauty of email). This can, of course, be extended to other situations:

Boss: "Did you clear this with Ms. X?"

Subordinate: "I have spoken with Ms. X, and she is very interesting"

Boss: "Well, OK then."

Hmm, again maybe you had to be there, but I give this one ☻☻☻☻☺ And I wish I could speak Japanese one one-hundredth as well as his English.

Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. (Yoda) Deep. Very deep. Akin to saying "when you toss a coin, it's irrelevant that the probability it lands on heads is 50%. It either lands on heads or tails." Turns out to be 100% correct. Try using that line with your spouse or children or boss or subordinates sometime, and you'll understand why Yoda lived alone in a foul swamp. Oh yeah, Hanna-Barberra tried a variation of this once ("There is Scooby Doo, and Scooby Doo not. There is no Scooby Try") but it never caught on for some reason. ☻☺

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough (Mario Andretti) Well, this sums up my life so far. 'Cept for the part about anything being under control ;-) . It's pretty good insight into The "Internet Bubble" of the late '90s. I think start-up companies subconsciously adopted this as a motto. Either that or their Boards of Directors started every board meeting off by chanting it as a mantra. What's wrong with that? Hint: Mario's car was always assembled prior to the race. He had driven a car once or twice before. He even had a pretty good idea about where he should drive (like, on the track). He didn't hire his pit crew during the race. Didn't spend his fuel budget on a lavish launch party. Hey, where are these companies now, anyway? I know where mine went.... ☻☻☻

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. (Aristotle Onassis)  Well, never having been in that situation I can't really comment. Except to use one of my favorite quotes from a longtime friend & co-worker: Don't argue with a billionaire. (Steve F.) ☻☻

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep (President Clinton's former aide George Stephanopolous) Not much for me to add here, is there? Hmm, I guess that depends on what the meaning of the word is is.... ☺

Half this game is ninety percent mental. (Yogi Berra) Yogi gets fun poked at him a lot, but I think the man was clearly a genius. Let's face it, how many people have achieved half of 90% of the success in their field that Yogi achieved as a player and manager? Besides, any good techie would tell you that Yogi was only commenting on 45 out of the first 50% of the game of baseball.  My only question for Yogi is, "what about the other half?" ☻☻☻☺

God is all-powerful. He can throw a boat over a hedge. (George Carlin) Yup, this one's also pretty deep, that's what I'm thinking. I used to think this was silly until a friend of mine got a phone call after a storm: "Get your [44-foot] boat outta my yard." Wow, an act of God.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. (Jason Kidd) Well, it's not much of a quote, but it sure as hell turned out to be true.  He would have received more respect if he said "1080 degrees." Fans would have said "Wow, not even Tony Hawk can do that." Oh by the way, if you failed Geometry and neither skateboard nor snowboard, turning 360 degrees puts you back in exactly the same direction you were originally headed (so does 1080, but usually with some broken bones and a lot less skin). Got it? Good. ☺

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time (Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair)  Kinda more of a fact than a quote, really. Ya gotta figure capacity comes into play here, too. After all, Clinton was a Rhodes scholar with a really high IQ, too. His brain probably needed all the blood it could get. See the writing about Mars and Venus for more clarification. ☻☻☻☻