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Nestled
in the lush green highlands of Cairn County, Cairn
McDoodle University stands out as a historically
significant institution of higher learning that has
kept pace with the times.
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Presently,
our major benefactor, Mrs. Dooker - Cairn Terrier
of Renown and A Dog For All Seasons, has been leading
a team of crack scientists in research into the human
genome. a Mrs
Dooker is currently involved in the ongoing worldwide
Human
Genome Project
. a At Cairn McDoodle
University she oversees the
work of over 20 scientists who are attempting to
locate the gene that
makes humans not nearly as loyal and forever loving
as dogs. When this gene is finally located, she and
her team will diligently work to repair the human
defect. The result will be not only world
peace and harmony, but a spotless
world as well since everyone will continuously lick
everything in view.
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But at Cairn McDoodle
University we never want to lose touch with our rich
past, with the things that made our civilization the
modern marvel that it is today. a
To this end, we have
decided to forego some of the modern conveniences to
permit our students a genuine link to the past... a
way of appreciating just how far we have come.
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Although opulent in
most every way, our student housing contains no
running water and therefore no bathrooms.
a Two privys
are available
for the use of our students and our faculty. Many
thought that Mrs. Dooker would be unhappy at the
inconvenience.
a But she reminded us
that she never used the bathroom anyway - she is a
dog and well... she is housebroken, you know.
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As this website is
still under construction, please check back later for
a full listing of all the degree programs we offer as
well as our Professional Certification in Bagpipe
Repair.
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If you can not wait
until this website is finished, if you have
difficulty dealing with frustration, if you find
yourself at a loss for what to do with your life, we
might suggest that you
cairn
cairn cairn cairn AskDr.
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