Born - Bermuda

Age - No Way I’m telling you!  Answers on the email :)

Height - How tall would you like me to be?

Actually, sod it, make up your own fantasy OR read about the reality.

Born - Bermuda. Yes it’s true, I was born there. Lovely unspoilt land that I had to leave (boo-hoo) and got sent to boarding school (against my wishes) in Ireland. Many unhappy years spent under the strict discipline that a catholic convent usually dishes out to unwilling slaves (erm, schoolchildren). Luckily, I was able to leave after 4 years and before they could marry me off to old JC! Unfortunately, I ended up in an All Girls School for 2 years. Does someone have it in for me or what? I suspect my parents!

Moved to England in 1982. Married in 1990 to a wonderful guy, who later turned out to be weirder than my parents. This guy filled the house with pianos, accordions and other instruments of torture. However, he wasn’t finished there. Oh, no! He also furnished me with 2 kids. Okay, so I did give birth to them, he didn’t drag them round from the gooseberry bushes.

Currently, I spend my time ranting about how good I am (true), how clever I am (also true), how good my kids are (no way) and wondering where the hell my ‘oh-so-wonderful’ husband has buggered off to. Actually I do know where he goes, he just spends so long away I forget what he looks like. Oh! He stuck a picture on the wall to remind me, but I can’t see it from the computer.

Kids - One boy (brat), one girl (cutie). Boy is the eldest and a regular pain in the posterior. Constant demands for the latest stuff (games, trainers, money, mobile phones) as well as being a gannet. If there’s food around, he wants it. Girl, she’s lovely. Okay, so I’m biased. She just discovered fashion, so that means lots of shopping trips. I love retail therapy, as long as it’s all on the husband’s credit card :) She likes being quiet, except when Klingon and Ferengi come round, but we’ll get to them later. Much later. Probably never! :)

Pets - One cat called Roger and a leopard gecko called Elfa (don’t ask why), several spiders (who don’t pay rent) and the odd silverfish. The black streak that we call Roger only enters through the back door, but only likes going out through the back window (dopey animal). Meows when hungry, meows when thirsty, meows, meows and meows again! Can be very loving when not meowing.