Telling Her

Standard stuff:

Title: Telling Her
Disclaimer: Me no own
Author:Kathryn C
Distribution: My page http://www.oocities.org/myroswellpage . Also, ask and you shall receive.
Spoilers:Okay, I guess there's spoiler's all the way up to and including the season finale, but yet not really. I mean, there are no real specifics, just sort of an idea that came from me reading spoilers.
Category: Michael/Maria (eventually I'll write something besides it).
Feedback: Send it. I have this insecure complex thing. It makes me happy.

********************************

Michael was inside Maria's bedroom. The window stood open beside him. He had pried it open. It wasn't hard. To his credit, he had tried the front door first, but her mother wasn't home.

He sat on her bed, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the covers. The same bed she had let him share that one night when he had nowhere to go, no reason to live. She had taken him in, demanding nothing and giving everything.

The napkin holder sat on the dresser by her bed, his thank you gift. The thing that would have gotten her a passing grade, but she kept instead. It had no practical use here in her bedroom. She kept in here as a reminder of what he had felt, but didn't know how to put it into meaningful words

He noticed a skimpy t-shirt of hers slung over a chair. That same one she had worn to that party. The one where he had told her that he had to be alone. Basically, the party where he had lied to her. It was a reminder of how he had hurt her that night, even though she had struggled not to show it.

Hurt her like he was going to do again.

He saw the red sneakers in the corner of her closet. She had dug them out after he had seen them in the vision. They were a reminder of that time, when they had finally become closer.

A head cloth of his from work was tucked over her dresser drawer. It had accidently come home in her bag after a make-out session in the back of the Crashdown. He never asked for it back. He wondered if she had ever even washed it.

A bottle of shampoo/conditioner sat on her desk. Unopened of course. It was his gift to her. He hadn't known better. He had taken it as a good sign that she didn't throw it into the garbage. It didn't even make him feel bad that she never used it.

Her aqua bra was hung over the laundry hamper. He had never actually seen it, but knew what it was. Not only had he felt it many times, she didn't exactly make it a secret that she was wearing it. He shook his head, she didn't need any artificial enhancements. To him, she was perfect the way she was.

Her alien voodoo doll sat on top of her lamp. He could only guess what horrible things she had been trying to inflict upon him. That was one thing he wished she had thrown away.

Her red lipstick was on the dresser, tipped on it's side. That same color was all over many of his t-shirts, and he often had to wipe it off his face and neck when he got home at night. She always favoured the bright color, but Michael never minded it all over him, knowing how it got there.

The bill from the restaurant was taped to her mirror, that same bill she had to pay. A reminder of their first real date. It was disastrous, but it was still their first real date. It was a miracle they stayed together after that.

A brochure from that freaky motel they had stayed in when he had basically abducted her. He didn't even know she had that. Back then, he never really thought that anything between them would happen like it had. He had felt the sexual tension, but never believed he would ever let her in.

A copy of Ulysses by James Joyce lay open to the fifth page on the floor by her bed. She had tried to read it in an attempt to become closer to him. She never made it past the introduction.

Reminders of him were all over her room, reminders of them. They all signified what they had, and what they were going to lose.

Michael heard the knob on the door begin to turn. Maria walked in. When she saw him sitting on the bed, she gave a start of surprise before she realized who it was.

"Hey Michael," she said, shutting the door. "You could have waited outside till I got home." she was only mildly annoyed. He had done this before.

He hesitated, but she kept talking. "God, am I glad to be home. Waitressing isn't all it's cracked up to be. The pay is not worth it."

"So," she said, dropping her purse and flopping down on the bed beside him, "What's up?"

"We need to talk," Michael said quietly, putting his hand on her knee.

"What's wrong?" she asked, instantly concerned. "What? Is it Max or Isabel? The FBI?"

Michael shook his head. He didn't know how to continued. He didn't know what words he was supposed to say. He knew he was going to hurt her, but he didn't want to destroy her.

How was he supposed to tell her that he loved her beyond reason?
How was he supposed to tell her that she meant more to him than any human ever had, or any alien for that matter?
How could he tell her that she made him feel good about life, and good about himself in a way nobody else ever had?
How could he tell her that they were suited for each other in more ways than she could imagine?
How could he tell her that he was about to throw that all away?

"I have to go Maria," he said, unsure of himself.

She shrugged, "Where are you going? When will you be back?"

Michael shook his head slowly, "I won't be coming back," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked down, afraid to see her reaction.

"What are you talking about?" Maria was incredulous, "What do you mean you're not coming back?"

"Max, Isabel and I, we're leaving Roswell," Michael said by way of explanation, "For good."

"Why?" Maria demanded, "Why on earth would you do that? You all have roots here in Roswell, ones you can't escape by leaving."

"We have our destinies," Michael said, pleadingly, praying she wouldn't make this harder on him than it already was. "You know what we were told."

"Screw your destinies," Maria said fiercely, grabbing his hand, "Fulfill them here in Roswell. You were never told to leave."

"We need to go," Michael said, keeping her hand in his. "There are more reasons for us to go than for us to stay."

"What about me?" Maria said in a quiet, hurt voice. "Aren't I a reason to stay?"

"You're more of a reason to go," Michael said sadly, kissing her hand. He watched a single tear run down her face as she looked at him.

"Well, you sure know a way to boost a girl's confidence," Maria said with a bitter laugh, getting off the bed. "So, you're basically telling me that you are leaving because of me."

Michael stood up to and walked up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "It's not like that Maria. I know I've never told you this, but I...I lo...I love you. You are all I've ever cared about more than myself."

"And I love you!" she cried, whirling around, "So why are you leaving me here?"

Michael shook his head sadly, "It's because I care about you so much that I have to go. I won't hurt you by staying. It would be selfish of me to stay."

"It will hurt me to see you go," Maria said pleadingly.

"Initially," Michael agreed, "But you'll get over me Maria, you know you will. That pain is worth keeping you out of danger from everyone, including the FBI."

"Don't say I'll get over you," she said insistently, "Don't you dare even think that. You mean more to me than that, and I'm not going to just let you go."

"Please don't make this harder Maria," he said in a pleading voice, "Please don't. I've come here to say goodbye. I don't want to make this more painful than it has to be. Leaving you will be hell enough."

"I love you Michael," she said in a desperate voice, "I've waited all my life for this, and I can't just let it go."

"I've waited my whole life for a love like this," Michael said, wiping the tears from her cheek. "I value your life above mine. I love you enough to let you go."

"Please don't leave me Michael," Maria said, bursting into sobs. He gathered her in his arms and let her release the tears. As he rested his head on top of hers, he allowed a few of the tears he had held in to escape. "I need you in my life," she whispered against his shirt.

He shook his head, "You don't need me Maria. You were fine before me, and you'll go on with your life."

He felt her shake her head, "No, that was before I knew you. Really knew you. You don't know how you've effected my life Michael. I know you're not everyones ideal man, but you were my Prince Charming."

He held her back slightly, so he could see her face. Even with the red puffy eyes, and the make-up running from tears, she was still beautiful to him. He gave a shaky smile. "You're not making this any easier."

"Good," she said stubbornly, wiping her tears.

He just shook his head, "I have to go Maria. I can't stay. Don't ask me to do it."

He turned to leave out the window, but she grabbed on to his arm. As he turned back around, she pulled him into a deep kiss. He put his arms around her, holding her close as their lips met. He wanted to memorize every inch of her, knowing he would never see her again.

/*/*/*/
MARIA: You can't just make up answers.
MICHAEL: Who said I'm making 'em up?
MARIA: You do not watch "The View".
MICHAEL: Keeps me in touch with my feminine side.
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MARIA: What, uh...what other human urges do you feel?
MICHAEL: Not if you're the last woman on Earth.
/*/*/*/

Maria ran her hands over his shoulders, driving him crazy. They lips never left each other. There was no need for breathing.

/*/*/*/
MAX: Yeah, I realize that. But the point is, we can't let things spin out of control. I mean, sure, it starts as a kiss...
MICHAEL: It's more than that.
MAX: How much more?
MICHAEL: I don't know, Max. It feels so wrong, but it feels so good.
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MICHAEL: I just don't really do this.
MARIA: Don't do what?
MICHAEL: Get intense like this.
MARIA: I'm not getting intense.
MICHAEL: Yes, you are.
/*/*/*/

Michael felt all the times they spent together fly through his mind, one by one. There was so much he was leaving behind.

/*/*/*/
MARIA (standing up): Whooohhh!
MARIA: I'm sorry. I retract...that last "whooh."
MICHAEL: Humans.
MAX: What?
MICHAEL: How excited they get over someone throwing a ball through a hoop. It's ridiculous.
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MARIA: Michael...we saved your ass. Ok? You were all flunked out, sweating, you know, running 112-degree temperature and, like, dying. I could have walked away and never looked back. But I didn't. I did not walk away. There I was, dragging your sweaty, gross body through the Indian reservation, you know, getting my clothes all muddy and...and worrying. 'Cause, you know, I...I really...I thought...you weren't gonna make it. Look...I went out on a limb for you...and you hug Max and Isabel, and it's all about the three of you. I mean...I mean, were you...were you even gonna thank me?
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MICHAEL: How'd you do?
MARIA: I flunked, as predicted.
MICHAEL: What?
MARIA: Yeah. I guess I can, uh, safely rule out any career paths involving wood.
MICHAEL: Didn't you get my thing?
MARIA: Yeah, I got it.
MICHAEL: Well, that's ridiculous. I worked my ass off on that thing. It was beautifully crafted. It was spring activated to secure the napkins. It redefined the term napkin holder.
MARIA: Yeah, I know, it did.
MICHAEL: Well, how could he have flunked you? I mean...Wh--
MARIA: Because I, um, I...I didn't use yours. I kept it. Thank you.
/*/*/*/

He was drowning in this kiss, knowing it would be their last. They had done this many times before, but it had never meant as much as it did now. He didn't want to have to think about leaving.

/*/*/*/
MICHAEL: Mud.
MARIA: What?
MICHAEL: Mud. I'm thinking about mud.
MARIA: Why do I even try?
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MARIA: What are you doing out there? No, you can't come in. No. I know why you're here. All right, I know what your plan is, I know what you want, but it's not gonna work this time, mister, ok, no matter what you say. My answer is no. No, no, no, no, no.
(Maria has let Michael come in and he is dripping wet and shivering)
MARIA: God, you could get pneumonia. Here, take your shirt off. Hold on. You're shivering.
(Maria wipes away a tear from Michael's cheeks)
MARIA: Come here. Shh, it's ok. You don't have to tell me, it's ok.
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MICHAEL: It's not true about you being shut down all the time. I happen to know that for a fact.
MARIA: Really? How?
MICHAEL: Because you let me see you. The red sneakers, Maria. One had a Kermit patch on it, and the shoelaces were blue, and you had your dalmatian dog with you there, licking off your tears. And I saw a whole bunch of other stuff as well. Was I right?
MARIA: Yeah. Um...that dog died when I was, like, 7. Right after my father left.
MICHAEL: Kinda rough?
MARIA: Yeah. I'd say so. I really didn't care about the stupid flashes. I just wanted us to be close.
/*/*/*/

Michael ran his hands though Maria's short hair, reveling in the texture of it. She had beautiful blonde hair. It wouldn't have mattered to him if it was brown, black, red or purple, but he always preferred blonde.

/*/*/*/
MICHAEL: This is for you.
MARIA: Shampoo.
MICHAEL: Shampoo AND conditioner in one.
MARIA: It's a real timesaver.
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MARIA: I'm sorry.
MICHAEL: Why?
MARIA: For that whole "being the perfect boyfriend" thing. After what happened to Alex last night, that's just, like, not what's important to me at all. So, if that's why you're acting strange, you can just stop. It's over. I mean...just go back to being your usual self.
MICHAEL: Come here. If anything happens, I mean, to me, I just want you to know that..
. MARIA: I know. Nothing's gonna happen to you.
/*/*/*/

/*/*/*/
MICHAEL: This is not your decision to make! This is mine.
MARIA: It's not just about you! What you do affects me. That's how relationships work, and whether you like it or not, we are in a relationship! OK, so go ahead and hate me, but I'm not gonna let you get hurt. I care about you too much.
MICHAEL: Maria, I have been waiting for this my whole life.
MARIA: So have I!
/*/*/*/

Michael finally pulled back from Maria. She stared up at him with sad eyes, realizing that nothing had changed. He held her close, one last time, and then released her.

He climbed halfway out the window before he turned back and gave her one last, soul-searching kiss.

"Remember, I'll love you always," he said in a broken voice. Maria nodded, closing her eyes as she felt his hand upon her cheek.

And then he was gone.

Back to homepage
Back to fanfiction

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page