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Issue One - 11/11/04

"Thank God it's Mushroom Season" says jubilant Garda
In an exclusive interview this week Garda Willie Fox has revealed how he is delighted that the Magic Mushroom crop has finally started to come in. "Ah, me and the lads do get fierce bored like, I mean I'm usually on the beat around the city and it would bore ya to tears. I mean there's the usual fights outside Supermac's and stuff like that and timing it so that you're nowhere near the scene when the actual fight breaks out can be a bit of an art. But on the whole it does get a bit monotonous out there. There is a quota of arrests to be filled so finding someone docile yet obviously doing something illegal can be hard enough. Basically an easy target is what we're looking for. That's why mushie season is such a Godsend. I mean it's a dream for a Guard like me."

You can't miss the signs:
  1. People happy - obviously taking some sort of upper.
  2. In awe of nature and basically everything else around them - all points to psychedelic experience.
  3. Not being able to talk or function properly when questioned - well admittedly this could be any random member of the public from Galway but put it together with the other two and you've usually got an easy arrest on your hands.
Garda Fox goes on to share his worries about this year's crop. "All the lads down at the station were starting to freak out a bit. I mean usually you start seeing the headcases around October or sometimes even September but this year there was nothing doing. A couple of the lads were really starting to think maybe we'd actually have to do a bit work this season, breaking up house parties and the like but thank God, just in the nick of time they've started sprouting. We're fit to have a party down at the barracks."

Garda Fox finished by saying "Of course the Gardai in no way, shape or form condone the use of so-called 'Magic Mushrooms' but if you do take some it would be helpful if you wandered up around the Shop St area on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday night next."


"Basically an easy target is
what we're looking for."