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Issue Ten - 24/06/05 |
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Charlie Haughey - He was a right cunt |
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More damning evidence has emerged of former Taoiseach Charles J. Haughey's
ludicrous abuse of power. Joe Higgins, the prominent Socialist Party TD, has engaged
in a fresh bout of finger pointing at the ailing ex-dictator.
"The man was a disgrace. It's only now I feel safe in coming forward with this information", Mr. Higgins said last night. Among the litany of new allegations are claims that Haughey used to feed his racehorses on champagne and caviar, was the owner of a credit card with the account name "National Debt" and even held on to power after losing an election. "That's right! The General Election of 1975 has been erased from the history books, even though the Socialist Party won a landslide majority. I was the only one to survive." "Haughey invited us all to his island, Inishmhiclaun, off the Kerry coast, for a 'handing over of power' ceremony. But when we arrived we were all herded into a room and the doors locked, 87 of us trapped inside. Next thing, The Cunt himself appears on a balcony 15 feet up and shouts: 'Define Socialism!' and then disappears." The doors were opened again ninety minutes later and the carpets of Mr. Haughey's mansion ran red with the blood of a new government that had ripped itself to shreds. But Higgins remains defiant. "There'll be socialism again in this country. And, by God, we'll have a proper definition next time!" |
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