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Issue Ten - 24/06/05 |
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Dear Ed,
Hey there it's me Glen Hansard. Tireless self-promoter that I am I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you and your readers all about my great new diet - out now in book form! It's called the Hansard Method and it's modelled on my very own tried, trusted and most definitely patented method of losing the pounds. You'll drop weight in weeks - guaranteed! And the best thing is you don't have to cut down on what you eat while you're on the Hansard Method! That's because when you're on the Hansard Method your body gets rid of twice as much waste as a normal person's! Isn't that amazing? Well it's true. Yes, follow The Hansard Method and not only will you be getting rid of waste when you visit the toilet but pretty much every time you open your mouth loads of shite will come out. So, if you want to be like me (and let's face it - who doesn't?), then all you have to do is run, don't walk, down to your local bookshop and pick up a copy of The Hansard Method. All the Hansard Youth are on it - you should be too! Yours smugly, Glen Hansard Dear Ed, If the government goes ahead with its plans to introduce ASBOs it will be one step more towards the fascist regime they're trying to force on us. Just look at the ridiculous ASBOs that have been enforced in England: - A teenager was forbidden from stepping onn cracks in the footpath on his estate. - An elderly man was forbidden from using wwords with too many vowels when speaking to his neighbour. - A single mother may only wear purple on SSundays if she eats cake on Tuesdays. See? Totally ridiculous! Yours socialistly, Greg |
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