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Issue Ten - 24/06/05 |
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Willie O'Dea revealed to be ten year old boy |
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The government was rocked yesterday at
revelations that have come to light
concerning Minister Willie O'Dea. Amidst
fevered speculation the Taoiseach finally
came out with an official statement
addressing the rumours. He stated "It has
come to our attention that Minister O'Dea
is not in fact what he seems. It would
appear that at some point a prankster
infiltrated our party and has managed to
surreptitiously finagle his way into power."
When further probed as to the true identity of this chameleon, the Taoiseach seemed to shift uneasily on his feet before revealing: "It has come to light that Willie O'Dea is in fact a ten year old boy called William O'Dea." He finished by saying, "The Fianna Fail party are treating this matter as critical and are seriously considering removing young William from his office." The Naked Galwegian is proud to bring you the first interview with the boy. "Well I just sort of did it as a joke at first. You see I bought this novelty moustache in a joke shop and started wearing it around, then I perfected the funny voice and wham, before you know it, I'm helping run the country." When we asked William to tell us how he was finally rumbled, he said, "Well there was a good bit of suspicion going around what with my complete inability to read or form legislation but that's pretty widespread in the cabinet so I didn't worry too much. I suppose I just wanted to get caught in the end. I started being careless, getting the government Merc to go on all sorts of unofficial runs to sweet shops, toy shops…Sometimes I'd put the moustache on upside down in the Dail just to see if people would notice, but they didn't. The Taoiseach called me into his office yesterday for a routine briefing but I could tell he sensed something was up, he's like a wolf that Bertie, so I just came out with it." When asked about his time in government William concluded, "Yeah it was all right, but you know politics isn't for ten year old boys, that's why I think Beano and Micheal should come clean as well cause they're making a right mess." William's parents have welcomed him home with a huge celebration having presumed him dead for so long. |
 William O'Dea (below) and his political alter-ego (above) 
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