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Issue Twelve - 17/11/05 |
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Minister's new scheme is 'sick and depraved' |
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A controversial new proposal by the Minister for Justice to deal with the rise in sexual assaults has met with a furious response from The Rape Crisis Centre. Minister McDowell has proposed the introduction of a voucher system to deal with the rise in sexual crime. He described the new scheme at a press conference on Monday.
"It's very simple. Every man in Ireland will be given two vouchers per annum that entitle the bearer to accost anyone the like. All the voucher bearer has to do is approach a woman, hold the voucher aloft and shout "Voucher!" The voucher is then verified by a small portable scanner and signed by an independent witness. After this simple procedure the man is exempt from prosecution. It'll cut court cases in half in the first three months alone!" The proposal has shocked even the most liberal of thinkers in political circles. Senator David Norris expressed outrage that there is no provision for homosexuals under the new legislation. But Minister McDowell was quick to allay fears of the nation's women by stating that any legislation would incorporate a 'veto' system whereby women will be issued with two veto vouchers per annum. These would allow women to repel unwanted male advances on two occasions. The minister would not comment on the 'Veto Gold Card' that has allegedly been issued to the Taoiseach's daughters Georgina and Cecilia. |
 Another sick and depraved plan
from our favourite Minister |