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Issue Twelve - 17/11/05 |
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One-weekend Eyre Square solution |
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A source inside Galway City Council today revealed how an opportunity to restore the square in one weekend failed due to bickering and in-fighting amongst the Councillors.
The source revealed, "The Council had finally come to the realisation that Eyre Square looks like a pile of shite and that basically the construction crowd down there were just moving piles of rubble and dirt around without actually doing anything. So they decided as a last resort to contact the BBC garden make-over show Ground Force. After receiving their grovelling letter, the ever personable Alan Titchmarch agreed to the challenge as long as the County Council agreed to adhere to the rules of the programme. Theses state that all people living nearby are sent away from the area for the weekend to ensure a good surprise payoff for the TV audience. This, unfortunately, involved getting the whole of Galway city and its environs into mini-buses to go on a compulsory weekend trip to Knock. The idea was that once the whole of Galway was gone the Ground Force team would come in, finish Eyre Square in the three days and then they'd bring everyone back for the reveal." The plan never got off the ground however as there appears to have been a dispute on some minor issue between the City Council and Ground Force. Elaborating, our source stated, "Well it was basically about Charlie Dimmock's bra, or lack thereof. Some of the councillors were concerned that her mighty bouncing boobs might attract attention and blow the whole surprise, others expressed concern that doing that amount of heavy work with no support for her melons would surely result in some sort of sag factor. It's an issue the Council are deeply involved with and interested in. Unfortunately, this point of contention between the two sides couldn't be resolved despite numerous memos going back and forth with suggestions. Once again, Galway City Council have blown the whole deal and ruined any chance of Eyre Square being completed before the end of the decade. What a load of tits." |
Ground Force to the rescue? Sadly, no.
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