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Issue Two - 25/11/04 |
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Dear Ed,
The recent acquittal of a Garda on assault charges despite video evidence clearing showing him bludgeoning defenceless protestors gives me great hope. I myself will be making a court appearance in the coming weeks after I was captured on CCTV footage in Galway City Centre smashing a pint glass in a man's face and then kicking him repeatedly in the groin while he begged for mercy and attempted to curl into the foetal position. I urge all other monosyllabic Neanderthals that spew out of nightclubs on Abbeygate Street to get stuck in. If you, like me, are the sort that's intent on hearing the cracking of bones before heading off for a Snack Box in the local feeding trough then I say go for it. Video footage don't necessarily mean a conviction. Viva la GBH! Yours in violence, Jimmy John Joe Murphy Dear Ed, I am conducting research into the long term effects of ecstasy usage. This research is a personal project and is not endorsed or funded by anyone. Please ask your readers to contribute to my research by sending cash, E, uppers, dope, downers and packets of soup to PO Box 361, Galway. Yours sincerely loved up, Ray F. Dear Ed, I was just wondering if you happened to have any wheel bearings for a 1987 Toyota Corolla hatchback. My wheel bearings broke last week and the vibrations when I drive are causing me to see double and it gives me terrible migraine. Yours sincerely, Seamus Tobin III Dear Ed, We would like to say one thing with regards to recent complaints made by the Consumers Association of Ireland about the outrageous prices charged in our shops: FUCK YOU SUCKERS! Sincerely, Brown Thomas Senior Management. |
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