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Issue Three - 09/12/04 |
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December 8th Invasion - another success for culchies |
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Seamus McGrath, Junior Minister for Culchies, has stated that this year's
December 8th invasion of Dublin "went fierce grand altogether". Ceannt
Station was bustling with activity in the early morning as lines of people
queued to receive wellington boots before boarding the eastbound train.
McGrath has been very vocal in the past few weeks in his support for the
controversial Wellies Proposal.
"I believe that we need to show the West Brits what we Culchies are made of. Wellington Boots are a great way for us to identify our own when wandering the streets and it shows we're proud of who we are and where we come from." The annual migration of culchies to 'the Big Smoke' has long been the bane of those who live in the Pale. Several strong objections have been made in the Dail recently with the opposition accusing the Culchie contingent of deliberately orchestrating the invasion to bring the capital to a standstill in the lead up to Christmas. In reply to these allegations Junior Minister McGrath is reported as saying "Ah would you get away with your shite talk!" Most commentators agree that this year's invasion was a resounding success. Sales of doorstep sized ham sandwiches and Tayto crisps on the train exceeded all expectations. Only one complaint was lodged with the Department of Culchies. This was received on the evening of the 8th from one Bridie Byrne who inadvertently wandered into "some shop called Ann Summers" and fainted. Bridie declined to make any official comment to The Naked Galwegian but her husband assured us that she was recovering well after "all that stuff she seen up there". |
 Junior Minister for Culchies
Seamus McGrath all dressed up
in one of them fancy suits
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