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Issue Three - 09/12/04 |
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All letters appear as we receive them and they're all
real, honest! Due to the high volume of hate mail we
receive we regret that we cannot reply to all letters
individually.
Hello asshole What is your problem. why have you spen so much time putting this complete and utter shite together. it seems to me that you you need to think about your statement "they're all only hippies and dole spongers" and why you have so much time on you r hands. I mean what is the poin of all this shit, you idiot. g Get a life you fool Dear Anonymous Reader, Thank you for your interest in our publication. It is truly refreshing to read such a well structured argument when we get so much absolute rubbish sent to us. As requested, we started to think about the statement "they're all only hippies and dole spongers" but became distracted as we began to worry about what a deprived childhood you must have had, given that you never had a chance to go to school to learn how to spell and write properly. Was it hard working down the coal mines? If you would like, we can forward you information regarding the correct use of punctuation in order to better your literacy skills. For now let us just point out that capital letters should be used at the start of every sentence and questions should end with a question mark (the name should make that one obvious). Sincerely, Asshole Apology
We regret that we cannot bring you the review of top Galway band Pyramid in the King's Head as promised in the last issue. Our reviewer made a valiant effort but was unable to stay awake past the first song. Apologies especially to the Pyramid member's girlfriend who e-mailed us with a rambling 500 word attack which we will not be printing as it seems like an awful waste of ink. We await more of the same with bated breath. |
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