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Issue Four - 20/01/05 |
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New 'Lake Offaly' plan revealed |
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The Naked Galwegian can make the shocking
disclosure today that secret plans are at an advanced
stage to turn County Offaly into a lake. Elaborate plans
for the Lake Offaly scheme were passed secretly to
The Naked Galwegian by an anonymous official.
Speaking under strict condition that he remains Brian
Cowen, the unidentified source spoke of his anger at
the PD-backed plans to flood his native county.
"I can't believe it, no more Clara, no more Tullamore.
No more riotous hurling matches between Banagher
and Birr. What'll become of my beloved Offaly?"
The Answer? Shock survey results show an overwhelming majority in favour of turning Offaly into a lake. 81% of people were in favour, with 12% against and 7% saying they "couldn't give a fuck". And on the question of advance warning of the flooding, 89% were opposed, with 4% in favour of warning being given and 7% laughing melodramatically, before saying they "couldn't give a fuck". |
 The government have guaranteed that Lake Offaly
will look nothing like this artist's impression |