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Issue Four - 20/01/05 |
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This week's TV highlights |
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Let's face it, most of you spend your
every waking moment slumped,
almost comatose, in front of the
radiation box. Social interaction is
a lost art, all that matters to you is
the flickering bright colours and
the vacant, slack jawed fucks you
call celebrities.
So here's the best of a bad lot for you
to slowly waste away in front of:
Fool Around With My Corpse - It's the new reality show taking America's funeral parlours by storm! (Sky One) Nipple Swap - Two housewives from different social backgrounds have their nipples surgically swapped for no good reason. Amanda Brunker presents and mentions her own breasts every two minutes. (RTE 2) Banks of Ireland - Shite RTE sitcom starring legendary England keeper Gordon Banks, who comes out of retirement to investigate insurance fraud claims for the Bank of Ireland. (RTE 1) Supermarx - Another shite RTE sitcom, in which Karl Marx is a character working in an Irish chipper for minimum wage. How you'll laugh when he tells you that the "special sauce is made with the blood of the workers"! (RTE 2) Living La Vida Yoga - Ricky Martin teaches meditation live from the back room of a pub in Milton Keynes. (ITV) Things That Kill Other Things - Blood and disembowelling in the Serengeti. Take that you bastarding antelopes! (National Geographic) Big Brother's Bastard Cousin - New Reality TV Show where five people are made to watch Celebrity Big Brother in a room with cameras trained on them. The tapes are then shown to the contestants of Celebrity Big Brother who bitch about these nobodies bitching about them. The tape of this is then shown to the nobodies who have now become somebodies. This continues ad nauseum until someone dies. |
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