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Issue Six - 24/02/05 |
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Social Welfare triumph in week long stand-off |
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A Dublin woman who came to Galway some weeks ago has packed her bags to
leave forever after a week long standoff with the Social Welfare. The Naked
Galwegian asked Fiona Brady why she had come to Galway of all places.
"Well, I'd gone to college in UCD and got a degree in Arts, I didn't really feel like doing a Masters and was just a bit confused about what step to take next in life so a friend, Tarquin, suggested coming to Galway for a year and going on the dole, said he'd done it himself and had great fun. I was a bit wary as I didn't know if dreads would suit me or if I'd have a natural affinity for the bongos but he assured me that I didn't have to go down the crusty route if I didn't want to, that was the best piece of advice he gave me. Well actually no, 'avoid the open mouth of hell on Abbeygate Street' was actually the best bit of advice. I mean that place is worse than Slapperface Jacks! So I packed my bags and headed west to the graveyard of ambition for my year of fun, Daddy was none too pleased." When asked when the trouble began Fiona replied, "well those soulless harridans in the Social Welfare office kept throwing forms at me to fill out, one after another, and eventually I cracked, I didn't realise that keeping those robots off your back was such a full time job, you practically have to give them blood to keep them at bay and don't talk to me about rent allowance, they told me to go back and live with my parents, like hello, Foxrock is just not my scene anymore but I just couldn't make them understand, they're not very bright" We then asked her about the week long siege she instigated in the offices on St Augustine Street, "well, they cut me off which was totally ridiculous because I'd just spent all my money on this divine Kashmir scarf in BT's and was totally broke, so I just marched in there and demanded to be paid…well I got a ticket, waited an hour and then made my demands but they just told me to go fill out the form, and I told them to shove their form, then I rang Daddy to get some cash transferred down, for basics you know, but I still went in there every day for a week to see what they were doing about my case. After a week I just couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to move back up to Dublin, I'm going to get a place with Tarquin and Julius, they've sorted me out with a job, you know I was never really cut out to be dole-scum anyway." The Naked Galwegian asked the Department of Social Welfare for a comment on the 'incident' but all we could elicit from them was "PPS number please, PPS number please, PPS number please, PPS number please..." |
 Fiona - not cut out to be dole scum |