The curtains part to reveal a tableau of Agamemnon, Menelaus, Odysseus, Nestor, and Achilles at a meeting, seated around a table. They're obviously bickering. In fact, they take this moment to sing insults at each other.

At the Greek Camp

Agamemnon:
You idiots aren't thinking!
Won't you stop and list to me?
The problem's not our soldier's strength
But their mentality
You claim to be all kings of men,
You stand up straight and tall,
But frankly, boys, you're morons
And you just can't fight at all.

Chagrined Soldiers: (spoken, shouted)
Agamemnon!

Agamemnon:
Oh, sure, we have Achilles bold
That brave and strong of men,
That headstrong man will get us killed.
We'll have to start again!

Achilles:
Agamemnon, we're not going to tolerate this
Load of dung you're shoving down our throats!
You stole Briseis -- you'll have to pay us all.

Agamemnon:
And not to speak's Odysseus
That shining beam of thought
No Trojan soldiers killed today --
It was slave girls that he fought!

Odysseus:
Now you're off-topic! Hey! Button up!
You said morality isn't to be brought up...

Agamemnon:
And now we come to Patroclus
A soft and tender soul;
My little finger severed could
Defeat that hussy whole.

Patroclus:
Agamemnon, really! You're not helping much.
Can't we stop this fighting?
Don't you realise that all ofthis is wrong?
Remember that there's other ways I'm strong.

Agamemnon:
And last of all there's Nestor.
This profound and wizened heart
Is high above the rest of you
And sharper than a dart.

Nestor:
In youth I shot some elephants.
I still can hear their cries;
By night I dreamt of big sweet cakes
And I wore hats made of pies.
(All nod sagely in response)

Agamemnon:
In short, boys, we're not doing well.
We all know who's to blame.
It's you, you weakling dribblers who
Are weak and sad and tame.
We can't sit back and lose this war!
We've justice still to make!
And don't forget when fighting, boys,
We've honour at the stake!