A Modest Proposal
 

interior basement, christmas day. nancy's family is spending the holiday at her house. the basement is decorated in red and green, with a tree in the corner. everybody is opening their presents in an unorganized rush. nancy keeps running upstairs to check on things.

nancy has bought ivan a pool table for christmas. it's sitting by the tree, covered in wrapping paper. ivan has been told it's a workbench for nancy's father, that her mom couldn't hide at her house because it was too obvious.

she planns to save the pool table for the very last present, and has prepared a block of pool chalk as a gift, to give to him before she explained the "workbench" was really a present for him.

nancy is intently watching to see when everybody has finished with their presents. earlier that morning ivan tells nancy he only got her two presents this year. and she'd already opened one before the guests arrived, so she was saving the other one for the last one she opened.

it's getting down to the wire... dad (who never opens his gifts until everybody is done) still has all of his gifts left and nancy has got two - one from her sister, one from ivan. ivan comes over to watch her open my last gift...

...which is an 800 page C++ programming book.

nancy says "you got me a programming book? why!?" but can tell there's something in it. she's thinking it's a card with a note about a vacation or something

ivan says "you have to read the dedication"

meanwhile everybody is watching and has crowded around

she opens the book and he's carved out a hole from the center of the pages. and there's a jewelry box shoved inside.

nancy thinks "oh god, he didn't do something like get me a necklace... my whole family's here!"

she opens it, and there's a ring and a little note that says "you asked for more time with me, so i give you the rest of my life"

since her entire family is standing there and has no idea what's going on, she plays dumb.

"i dont get it" she says.

"will you marry me" he says.

and all of the women-folk burst into tears

dad and brother hightail it up the stairs and onto the back porch, "to smoke" they'll tell everyone later

well after that excitement nancy had to run upstairs and put something in the oven

after messing around with whatever food stuff needed tending, she comes back downstairs, because the pool table is STILL wrapped. she's still shaken up by the whole thing, so she gives her mom the bait-and-switch box with the pool chalk to give to ivan.

he opens it, and doesnt understand. up until the very last second, he thought the "workbench" gift was for dad, who wasnt opening it because he knew what it was

eight hours later when ivan was filling in his mom on the day's events, he says "and nancy's parents got me a pool table"

it wasn't until after he hung up that nancy was able to explain that her parent's had no part in the pool table - it was all her.

 
 


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