5/4/00
From the tone of yesterday's entry, it should be obvious that I didn't have any smokey treats until after I left the office. I got in my car and had one lit before I even turned the key in the ignition. I only smoked about a quarter of it, though, because it made me so damn dizzy. This is a bitch.
I've been away from the cyber world most of the day due to The Firm's being completely terminated by the "i love you" virus. I can't think of a more ingenious plan to spread a virus than sending it to a law firm full of arrogant men and self-esteem-less women and tagging it with the phrase "I love you." Excellent strategy.
I had 2 1/2 cigarettes yesterday and 1/4 of one today. Today I don't feel quite so ready and willing and capable of killing many, many people. Although yesterday, I certainly was up for the challenge. Megan and I had a huge knock-down-drag-out that lasted only briefly because I knew that if I didn't leave the house, it would probably get violent, as my nicotine withdrawal has enabled me to learn many, many new uses for the word "fuck." (I can also now say "bite me" in 12 languages.) The fight dissipated after I left and we racked up 27 minutes on my cell phone (dammit).
The good news is that I now have others upon which to take out my frustrations. While jogging yesterday (because she's such a trooper), Megan was verbally assaulted by a couple of assholes sitting on the front porch of their lovely home (smell that? It's sarcasm) and drinking beer. "Hey, baby, nice tits!" "Hey, why don't you come in the house and show me some of that?" "Hey, baby, come on over and let's party!" They actually went so far with their pathetic intimidation crap as to walk out into the yard as if to follow her. ASSHOLES! WHAT IS IT WITH STRAIGHT WHITE TRASH MEN??!!! I mean, do they really expect any of us to stop, turn around, and say, "Oh, my God, I am SO GLAD you said something, because, as a matter of fact, I am SO TURNED ON BY YOU and YES, I would like to show you my tits, and I would love for you to jump my bones! Jesus, where have you been all my life? It's been my dream since the age of 5 to find a man with no job and no hygiene habits that I can work to support while chucking out his welfare children. HALELUJAH, MY PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED!" I swear to God, every time I am met with the inane stupidity of these neanderthal wastes of beer, I want so bad to come up with something to say that will make them fully aware of just how ignorant and repulsive they are, but all my brain can come up with is "FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK" or something equally stupid.
So, the good news of today is that I may not be flunking my computer science classes, after all. I was checking my grade on-line, and the prof left a comment about "are you going to take quizzes 1 and 2" and I was like, uh, yeah, if I can. And he e-mailed me today to go ahead and take them, which I did--didn't do stellar, but didn't fail any of them. Yee-ha! There may be a light at the end of this tunnel, after all. However, I have to go take the final tonight and be damned if I know what the hell I'm talking about. We shall see...
RENT is Friday night--God, I am so super pumped (for lack of better verbiage--at least I didn't say "super stoked"). Megan actually asked me last night (after the fighting match) "so what do you want to do Friday night?" I just looked at her like she had grown tentacles or something until it finally dawned on her. We've only had the tickets for what, 5 months?
Steadily chewing my gum...and chewing, and chewing, and chewing. The gum helps but what I really want to do is EAT. And eat and eat and eat...
I realized yesterday that I have seriously neglected my "Notes From the Cess Pool" duties. The problem lies in that I don't live in the Cess Pool and their paper is kind of a raging joke here in the big city. (Can't imagine why.) So I'm kind of limited in my source of ignorance unless I actually drive to Cess Pool, or drive the 45 minute haul to the nearest gas station that sells that paper. I fully intend to have more ignorance ripe for viewing by the beginning of next week. On my honor as an ex-girl scout.
More later...
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