06/01/00
I've been trying for some time now to find a background color to use that isn't horribly putrid. I don't think one exists.
I've also been thinking a lot about some of the stuff I see on the web. I think a lot of people just try too damn hard to further complicate things. What's even more disturbing is that these are typically the same people who claim to be "open minded" and "liberal" and yet they spend a lot of time chastising the rest of the world for not fitting into their limited scope of thought. Admittedly, I have a lot of opinions regarding a lot of subjects, and I spend considerable time ranting about them, but the truth is, I'm a whole lot of talk and not a lot of action. Many people consider that one of my inate character flaws. Yeah, well, I'm apathetic about that, as well. The truth of the matter is that, in my gross apathy, I get about as much accomplished as some of the more vocal people out there. My favorite example (because I know she won't ever read this and I can therefore avoid her wrath) is Megan. The fact that I continue to patronize Wendy's and JCPenny and all the other anti-homo establishments completely floors her. What about the cause? she screams. What about our rights? Hmmm...the fact that Wendy's pulled their ads off the big Ellen show and JCPenny followed suit has jolly little to do with the manner in which I live my life. Oh, and here's the BIG kicker--I'm not even a registered voter! Shame on me!!! That drives her nuts, too. What about gay marriage? she says. What about non-descrimination laws? What about them? I voted for Bill Clinton back in '92 (go ahead, blame the problems of the world on me) because Big Bill was going to CHANGE THE WORLD. By God, he had it all figured out. What I and the rest of the world failed to realize was that the Prez is merely a figurehead for that purple-people-eating machine we call THE GOVERNMENT. He has no control over jack shit. But I fell for it anyway. I was convinced that by 1996, gays and lesbians would be happily trotting down the aisle and no one would be fired for being a big candy ass. Boy, was I wrong! Eight years later we've got don't-ask-don't-tell pussying out, "defense of marriage" (as if it's worth defending), Matt Shepard and a bunch of other horseshit us liberal-minded voters weren't exactly expecting. My point is that the law hasn't changed for the better in the last ten years, and it still hasn't affected the manner in which I live my life. Wait a minute--what did I just say? Let's think about it, I have a job, and while I get a lot of filthy looks and shit from the straight bitches that work here, I haven't been fired, and if I were, I'd find another job. I own a house with my girlfriend (although I often wonder if that's more a hindrance than anything else). Given the proper paperwork, anything is possible. The only things we can't do are be foster parents (like we want to be anyway) and file joint tax returns. GET OVER IT!
Yes, I am the anti-American. Go ahead and start flooding my e-mail with rhetoric about the land of the free and the brave and that democracy doesn't work if you don't use it. PISS OFF. Democracy doesn't work, PERIOD. Sure, it was a lovely idea 225 years ago, if you buy that shit they fed us in grade school. (Did you know that many of our beloved forefathers didn't think us common folk had sense to pour piss out of a boot and therefore, a monarchy was still the way to go, and the only reason they left jolly old England was to engage in a little free trade? You won't find that in your 5th grade history book.) I live my life the way I see fit to do so, and to hell with any fat ass upper class straight white man who thinks I should be ashamed of myself for it. EAT SHIT AND DIE, BOURGEOISE PIGS.
I guess what sparked this whole grandstand was something I recently saw in which a group of people who are typically ostracized are attempting to further ostracize themselves by finding fault with everyone in the world who doesn't fit into their parameters. Oh, give me a fucking break. Quit being such pretentious little shits and realize that your fecal matter does, indeed, smell every bit as bad as mine. If you're going to play their game, you're really no better than THE MAN. I don't care what you eat or what products you endorse or what the fuck else you hold dear to your hearts, your principles are still the same as the red meat eating, belching farting housekeeper-hiring assholes I work for every day. So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
This all reminds me of when Sinead O'Connor appeared on Saturday Night Live, and tore up the picture of his papalness and instructed viewers to "fight the real enemy." She was immediately labeled a heretic by the ever-so-moral and righteous folk of the good ol' US of A, who in their ignorance completely missed the fucking point. Her statement was a protest of the Irish civil war, claiming that rather than fighting each other, the Irish should be fighting the tyranny of organized religion and particularly, the oppression of the Catholic church. Immediately after watching that broadcast, I wanted to hug the poor girl because I just knew what was in store for her in this lovely, liberal, freedom-of-speech touting country of ours.
I apologize if I've offended anyone--oh, who the fuck am I kidding, HELL NO, I don't apologize. That's my point. I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam. (Wait--am I Popeye? Mental clarity moment...)
I think I'm going to add my very own message board to this site so the people I piss off can tell me about and spark some intriguing debate. If nothing else, it will be something fun to do when I drink too much.
I think I've given myself a headache. Must go finish up some work now because I am a slave to the white man machine... FIGHT THE POWER!
Fuck it, I'm moving to Switzerland. At least there you can get good cheese.
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