07/14/00 (cont'd)
thought I was going to pass out. I asked him where my clothes were and he asked "are you leaving?" and sounded genuinely disappointed. I kissed his forehead and told him "I need to sleep in my own bed. And you have to get up early. You need to sleep." Of course, I then lay next to him and dozed off for about another 2 hours. When I woke up, I knew that I couldn't wake up there...not yet...and so I got up, got dressed, got myself together, then went in to kiss him goodnight. I went home. Megan had left every goddamn light and the t.v. on in the house, even though she'd gone to bed. I turned them out one by one, got into my pajamas, went to bed, and just laid there.
This morning when I woke up, I could still smell him on my skin, and I could hardly bear to wash it off.
Ohmyfuckinggawd.
I won't even say a word about "falling." Ha. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. Hit. Fell. Done for.
Before things got too hot and heavy, I told him that I wanted him to know that I had been kidding, that "not everyone gets a turn." He said he hadn't given it a second thought.
Holy Christ.
How fitting that, in the shadow of the whole Internet Caste Uproar, I should find myself involved with a man who represents some strange melding of both worlds. Born and raised white trash and still living that life, to some degree...yet with an intellect I have rarely found in ANYONE I've met, and a sensitivity and passion I've never seen before.
Did I mention I'm fallen? Hit? Done?
I can barely stand the thought of waiting until tonight to see him.
And Megan's leaving for the Polack family float trip early tomorrow morning. Which means I will have the house to myself ALL WEEKEND LONG. Bummer.
Oh, God, I'm about to piss myself. I can't write about this anymore because it's just too intense. Damn scorpios. I should have known that the two of us together was going to be a volatile mix. I need orange juice. Gotta split.
And yes, I AM having a hard time wiping the ear-to-ear, shit eating grin from my face. Thanks for asking.
But wait, there's more...