Emilio

HHH: Our guest here on today's segment of "Brush With The Greats!" is Emilio Estevez. Now I have to admit that I am a little unfamiliar with the entirety of the young Mr. Estevez's body of work, but he claims to have been in my show business for almost 20 years now, or about twice as long as someone I have heard of, Calista Flockhart, TV's whining anorexic and role model to young women everywhere. But I'll take your word for it, Mr. Estevez; you've been in my show business for 20 years. So, what have you been in that I may have heard of?
EE: Well, my first film was called "Seventeen Going On Nowhere."
HHH: I've never heard of it.
EE: It was a made for TV movie, as was "To Climb A Mountain."
HHH: I've never heard of it.
EE: How about "Nightmares?"
HHH: I've never heard of it.
EE: "That Was Then … This Is Now?"
HHH: I've never heard of it. Please pass the Colgate.
EE: "Wisdom?"
HHH: I've never heard of it.
EE: "Maximum Overdrive?"
HHH: I've never heard of it.
EE: "Nightbreaker?"
HHH: I've never heard of it.
EE: Well, that was also known as "Advance To Ground Zero."
HHH: Ah … I've never heard of it. Rinse.
EE: The "Mighty Ducks" series?
HHH: Ah, so you were in a succession of these powerful waterfowl movies, yes?
EE: Yes!
HHH: I've never heard of them.
EE: "Judgment Night?" "Loaded Weapon I?"
HHH: Now you're just making these up, aren't you?
EE: NO! How about "Another Stakeout," also known as "The Lookout?"
HHH: Was that one movie called "Another Stakeout Also Known As The Lookout?" Or two movies: one called "Another Stakeout," and the other called "Also Known As The Lookout?"
EE: One movie that went by 2 different names.
HHH: I've never heard of it. But speaking of going by 2 different names, isn't your brother vaguely supposed to be someone, too?
EE: Yes.
HHH: Who?
EE: Charlie Sheen.
HHH: I've never heard of him. Spit.
EE: I don't have to spit.
HHH: No, that was a message to myself. I felt the need to spit after hearing you say "Charlie Sheen."
EE: I was married to Paula Abdul.
HHH: Ah, yes, a marriage destined to last a lunchtime.
EE: I've also directed a few movies.
HHH: Of course you have, my dear boy.
EE: I have! "Wisdom," "Men At Work," "The War At Home," and "The Bang Bang Club."
HHH: Were any of them known as anything else?
EE: No.
HH: You know what – I did just remember something about you?
EE: Finally! What’s that?
HHH: That you're tiresome and that I'd rather have a root canal than brush my teeth with you again.
EE: Screw you!
HHH: Very clever. Fine, go ahead and leave without flossing. See if I care! . . . Oh, say "hi" to your Dad, the truly talented Martin Sheen, for me! Now there's a man who knows how to brush his teeth! And say "hi" to Calista Flockhart, too, if she ever hires you to shave her back again!