LarryStorch

HHH: Our guest here today on "Brush With The Greats!" is Larry Storch, best known for his should-have-been-an-award-winning portrayal of Corporal Agarn on the old "F Troop" show, as well as . . . ah . . . probably an appearance on "The Love Boat" or something. Welcome, Larry.
LS: Please, call me Larry. Did you know that the "Louie 'The Thumper' Lancaster Urban 60 Second Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, On-line Monthly News Service Electronic Reporter' said that some of my work on "F Troop" "puts to shame a lot of what the second Darrin ever did on 'Bewitched'?"
HHH: Yes, I did. So, why are you here in North Billerica?
LS: My brother Bobo The Plug owns a faux pottery-throwing barn here in town and apparently there’s some sort of problem with the asbestos.
HHH: There’s no asbestos used in making pottery, even of the faux kind, is there?
LS: No, he just gets a buzz out of having asbestos there. Besides, the pottery isn't faux; the barn is.
HHH: Fair enough. Tell me, do you, L. Ron Hubbard, and John Travolta still get together every year to celebrate Kwanzaa?
LS: Actually, we never did, and I think he's been dead for a long time now anyway.
HHH: L. Ron Hubbard is dead?
LS: No, Travolta is. I'm pretty sure about that. He never returns my calls.
HHH: And L. Ron Hubbard does?
LS: Oh yeah, every day at 3 a.m., like clockwork.
HHH: Fair enough. So anyway, let's cut to the chase, if you will – are you going to visit Collins' while you’re here in town?
LS: The bowling alley?
HHH: Yeah.
LS: I probably will. It’s duckpins, isn't it.
HHH: That's right. The kind the French love to bowl. By the way – "Storch" – what kind of name is that? French? Polish? Irish?
LS: It's Chinese.
HHH: It is?!
LS: Er . . . ah . . . actually, I have no idea.
HHH: Fair enough. By the way, I've always wanted to ask you something. Do you mind?
LS: Probably yes.
HHH: Thanks. Looking back retrospectively over your past career previously in prior hindsight, are you disappointed that you never got to play Christine Jurgenson in your Marine outfit's theatre troupe?
LS: What?!
HHH: Oops, I'm sorry – that's actually a question I've been meaning to ask Penny Marshall. Well, Larry, is there anything that you'd like to ask me before Mall Security shows up?
LS: Do you think these coulots make my butt look big?
HHH: Not when you wear them rakishly off the shoulder like that, no.
LS: Thanks. You got a buck?

Some days, despite what those inner, shrieking voices repeat to you in backwards Latin, it does pay to get out of bed! And last week, I, your faithful Entertainment Reporter, Happy Harold Harwickée, must have been given a "Get Out Of Bed Free" card by the Celebrity Monopoly Gods because I had one of those days! For it’s not every day that you get to meet up with the one and only (to coin a phrase) Larry Storch! His immortal, 2-year run on the television show "F Troop" is still talked about today in taverns, brothels, asylums, and Rent-A-Centers alike! After spending upwards of nearly 4 minutes with him, I came away impressed with his depth, his spirituality, his energy, and his snappy silk ascot! He is truly a Renaissance Man of the highest order! We caught up with him at the North Billerica Mall, where he was arguing about his change with the clerk at the "Everything For A Dollar" store!