Batman or Superman?

During one of those deep existential moments I often have, I started considering which of the two classic superheroes, Batman or Superman, were better. Not from the standpoint of them battling each other, but in trying to decide which I would rather be. And let me tell ya, when you have to make a decision this big, you'd better consider all the angles.

Superman, at first glance, is a much better choice. I mean, come on, he's invulnerable. Batman is a plain old human that can be damaged, albeit not always easily. But this is a much more important decision than, say, choosing your secret ATM code or which outfit to wear to the Academy Awards. You have to look at the big picture.

Let's start with the men themselves. Both are very intelligent, although Batman may have a slight edge due to his more well-developed detective and deductive reasoning skills. Both heroes are also blessed with chiseled features and fabulous physiques, although why Superman needs muscles, I'll never know.

OK, nothing much yet to base a decision on. So what about their costumes? Superman has a somewhat gaudy red and blue number. Batman's outfit comes in two versions. The original, traditional one is blue and grey, while the newer one is basic black. Let's face it, all the cool people today wear black. Add to that Batman's utility belt. A toolbelt is one thing, but add high tech, miniaturization and sleek design, and baby, you're talking irresistable.

Superman, besides the invulnerability, has some other enviable powers. There's the x-ray vision, always popular at parties. He has heat vision and super breath that can freeze anything. He can turn back time. And Krypton's legacy can turn a lump of coal into a diamond with his bare hands. That one goes a long way with the chicks.

So how can Batman compete with the likes of that? By doing what any real guy would do: bringin' on the hardware. He's got the Batcave, which, incidentally, contained a huge crime computer even before PCs were around. It also has lots of other high tech equipment, like a spectrometer. And man, is his garage full. Not only does he have the totally bitchin' Batmobile, there's also the Batcycle, Batboat, Batcopter, Batplane, Batsub... well, you get the idea. Now that's fighting crime!

But here's the clincher: Check out what the two super heroes' alter egos do for a living. Clark Kent is a working stiff, while Bruce Wayne is independently wealthy and in charge of a huge corporate empire. Who would you rather be? Maybe it's just me, but I'll take the Dark Knight any day. The Man of Steel may be super, but the Caped Crusader is the cat's meow.