Life in the Nuclear Age

It only seems fitting, with a page called "Nuclear Toast", to treat the source of this unique name to a little consideration. After all, nuclear subjects have had great influence on the course of history in this century. But this is no history lesson. It's merely a few thoughts I have on the atom.

Nuclear weapons. This subject alone has dominated life and politics in the last fifty years. We've all seen pictures of the early Army tests, the "duck and cover" school drills, and the fallout shelters. There have been ICBMs, MAD, SALT, START, SDI and Dr. Strangelove. The Cold War and arms race were carried on the back of kilotons and megatons. Even now, with the breakup of that "Evil Empire", the Soviet Union, new nuclear threats come from Israel, Pakistan and India. And unlike the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, I have to believe in nuclear weapons because I've actually seen one. But being a nerd, I have faith in the mechanisms and efforts of man. If someone pushes the button, it probably won't work.

Nuclear power. Ah, the world's answer to the energy crisis. Clean, safe and perpetual. Unfortunately, experience shows the only truth to be perpetuity. Of the waste byproducts, that is. What else can you expect from an industry that prizes profit over safety and is regulated by the same bureaucracy that brings you the mail and the $600 toilet seat? But I'll give them one thing, they sure have some cool logos.

Nuclear family. I used to think this had something to do with living in an electric house supplied with unlimited power, until the Cleavers and the Nelsons showed me The Way. But the standard family structure of the fifties and sixties has given way to the realities of sexual emancipation and the dual career track. Oh sure, there are still isolated nuclear families (like mine) here and there. If only the pointing and whispering didn't get on my nerves so much.

Nuclear food. Now this one is funny. Who in America (outside of the Ozarks) hasn't "nuked" a cup of coffee or some Cheez Whiz? And where else would we use a term connected with cataclysmic destruction but in the kitchen? I guess in a society that obsesses about food. (Just ask anyone in a weight loss program.) I mean, there's something magical, an almost Star Trek quality, of placing your food in that little cubby, pressing a few buttons, watching it spin and pulling out a piping hot treat. Unless you're trying to dry off a poodle.