Truths 3 
bkypwl@earthlink.net

 DISCLAIMER : See part 1

Something is different from the other times I have entered her mind. I have been invited and my Scully welcomes the intrusion. I can safely say "My Scully" now. I see that, I know that. I feel the warmth of her back against my chest, the even tone of her breathing tells me she is relaxed, ready to let me in. I curl my arms around her waist in silent acceptance of what is about to happen. Scully and I are one.

I don't know how, maybe it is the privacy and silence of the surroundings I have chosen. I am not only privy to Scully's thoughts, but there is a physical element here as well.

My God, it's raining, I am wet and cold. I open my eyes and there is a drowned rat Scully in front of me. So sweet, so young, so inexperienced. Yet strong in her beliefs.

"Agent Mulder, I am standing here......." It's our first case together. Inside, I am laughing but somehow I already know she is a force to be reckoned with. Don't let her see me laugh. Let the facts cover her, just as the cold Oregon rain washes over us. She's getting it.

"Mulder," It's Scully's voice now. "Mulder, watch my face, do you think I would have stood in the rain for anyone but you? I stuck it out Mulder, through some of the most unimaginable days and nights."

And then a burst of images and sounds enter my head. It's like that movie, Brainstorm. Our six years together, so much has happened.

I am looking at snow, there is an enormous crater before me but everything else is a blur. My head is pounding, my breathing erratic, my throat raw, and I can see nothing but a swirl of snow. Scully's thoughts are a jumble. Cold, fear, "I had you....." She could not see the alien craft, she was barely alive. I felt betrayed but in reality, she was clinging to life. I see the tenderness and concern in her eyes as she hovers over the many hospital beds I've frequented. Sure her medical knowledge is frightening, I now see the danger I was in. She knows the details of my injuries, but her concern is also evident. Her caring, her love is what I need to heal.

"Mulder, it has not been easy on either of us." Scully murmurs from deep within me. I see a slide show of creatures, Donny Pfaster, and Luther Lee Boggs, all trying to manipulate her mind. I feel her fear.

And then I feel her strength, "I know what you do."  "I'm not gonna get tired." "If I quit now, they win." Scully is the strongest person I know. Why have I never told her this?

And now I feel the heartbreak of a mother who would never cradle the sweet head of her child. A beautiful, innocent wisp of a girl in a too big sweater. Born only to serve others. I feel Scully's tears, still at bay. I feel her strength, her reserve, this too is not easy.

Scully seems to have fallen asleep, she is limp in my arms, warm and inviting all the same though. She is dreaming, the images gone now but the thoughts remain. I steal a moment to breathe in the soft scent of her hair. Probably shampoo, but unmistakably Scully all the same. The softness of her hair, the way it curls around her chin, her throat, amazes me. Why have I passed by so many moments to touch her this way?

"It's O.K. Mulder, it has always been O.K." Scully silently grants me permission to continue. This is a gift I never expected.

Cookies, I smell baking cookies. Scully laughs, "Yes Mulder, there is a rose covered cottage somewhere inside of me. I don't have all the details yet but I do hope for family some day. I am certain that it will happen."

Scully shifts in my arms. Her hands leave her lap and cover mine. I realize we are both cold. My eyes had closed and I did not see that night had fallen. Do I wake her? How can I leave this warm wonderful world inside of Scully. Am I giving up my only chance to know what she feels?

"Mulder, no, this is only the beginning, the easy part." Scully breathes into me. "The next step is the tough part."

She is awake now, extricating herself from my arms and rising from our seat. Her sweet smile tells me she is content. Scully reaches for my hands pulling me to a standing position.

"Words Mulder, now we use the words."

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