Disclaimer : See Part One
Title - The Game of Life
Author - KB
E-mail address - gekbruce@melbpc.org.au
Rating - G (with angst)
Category - Adventure/Drama
Spoilers - I suppose so
Series/Sequel - Part 7 of Total Recall
Summary - There's a new player in the game...
"The Game of
Life"
By KB
Once she was finally allowed into the room, Jennifer stopped at the threshold and stared at the figure on the bed. Her whole body was fixed and unmoving, save for her eyes which travelled over the still body and then over the equipment with which he clung to life. It took several seconds before she realised that she had ceased to breathe and her first intake of air matched the first step that she took into the room. Gauze pads taped onto the skin, and stained slightly with a reddish tinge, contrasted sharply with the bronzed skin, tanned by the surgical disinfectants. His face…her eyes travelled to his face and she visually scanned the closed eyelids and the open mouth, a tube vanishing into its depth that was responsible for the regular rise and fall of his chest. It wasn't natural - she could see that. His breath was never that regular, that measured. Even in his sleep, his breath was often ragged and unbroken. But now the regular beat of it frightened her and she took an unconscious step back before moving further into the room.
With trepidation, she approached the bed. For several seconds she stood there, waiting for some response as he had so often responded during the nights they had spent together. When that failed, however, she dropped into the chair that waited beside the bed for that very purpose and, slowly, took his hand in both of hers. It was warm and this fact registered in her mind with a dull sense of surprise. Seeing his lack of colour, she had expected his skin to be cold, and even slightly damp, but instead it was warm and dry. When the door opened, she turned quickly. The nurse who had entered walked over and stood beside her.
“Jennifer, I’m sorry about what happened.”
“Mary-Ann, are you…?”
“I’ve been put on as Jarod’s nurse for the next few hours. If you need anything, you can press that.” The dark-skinned nurse indicated the small buzzer which lay, pinned to the sheet near the pillow. She put one hand on Jennifer’s shoulder.
“I’ve pulled people back from the brink of death before this. I’m sure, together, we can do it again.” Jennifer tried to smile but she felt as though all of her emotions had been drained from her in the few half-seconds after watching Jarod crumple to the ground. The agony of that moment swept over her again and she failed to notice that Mary-Ann had slipped from the room. In fact it wasn’t until the door opened again, nearly an hour later, and Sarah entered that Jennifer looked up. Even then she looked blindly and took in nothing of the scene before her.
For her part, Sarah was also shocked at the sight which was in front of her but she remained calm and walked over to Jennifer with Kyle clutched firmly in her arms. Jennifer took him automatically but the gurgling which began the moment her arms were around him brought her away from her thoughts and she looked down to the small face which now smiled up at her. The similarity to the man lying on the bed brought her both pain and relief and she looked up at her friend with a smile, even as a tear slowly made its way down her face.
“How was he?”
“Angelic, as usual.” Sarah paused. “Can you tell me - what happened?”
Jennifer took a deep breath and controlled the trembling in her voice.
“My car wasn’t working and so I asked Parker to give me a lift home. I was going to call you from there and have you bring Kyle around. But Parker had to stay for a meeting and so she arranged for Sam to drive me.”
“Sam is…a sweeper?”
“Yes. Anyway, we were approaching my house when Sam recognised a figure that I had seen several moments earlier. Of course, I hadn’t said anything about who it was, but Sam recognised him nonetheless and, before I could stop him, had pulled the car over to side of the road and pulled his gun. Jarod had seen the car stop and was preparing to run but, when Sam yelled out, he paused before taking off. Sam fired two shots and hit Jarod both times in the chest. As Sam was turning, I had taken my gun out of its holster and slammed him in the back of the head with it. I don't have many proper bullets, you know, so shooting him would have been no good. He dropped as fast as Jarod had done but I ignored him and ran over to Jarod. It was lucky that the road was quiet, otherwise I probably would have been run over." The tension of the moment swept over her again and the muscles in her face tightened. "Anyway a woman who knew both Jarod and I called an ambulance and then she and her husband came out.” Jennifer paused and steadied her voice, unaware of the tears that were pouring down her cheeks. “It hadn’t really hit me, what had happened, and I told them to take Sam into their house and keep him there until I called for him.”
“But Sam’s a big, strong guy and these two people are…?”
“About our age. However he’s a dentist and so I think Sam might be doing a bit of sleeping for the next few days.” The hysterical giggle that she let out revealed to Sarah how emotionally wound up she was.
“So you got the ambulance to bring him here? When?”
“About six…no, seven hours ago. They finished with the surgery to remove the bullets, settled him in here and then let me come in to see him.”
“Oh, God.” Sarah’s voice was soft and she slipped a comforting arm around Jennifer’s shoulders. “But he’ll pull through. We got him through that bout of pneumonia, remember? So we can get through this.”
Jennifer sat in the chair, waiting for something to happen. This was all she was able to do, wait, and she remembered the time, only a month earlier, when Jarod had had to wait in the same way while she was in theatre. Her hand moved to her stomach, now beginning to announce the coming baby, and she allowed herself several seconds to think about what it would be like to bring up the children without their father. To remove the thought she shook her head gently and then picked up one of the books that Sarah had brought over. It was a relief, she thought as she began to read, that Sarah was willing to take care of Kyle. She didn't feel as though she could deal with an active two-year-old at this point. And Kyle was certainly active. Sydney had come around on several occasions to see them and commented on the similarity between the child now and his father at twice that age. The opening door revealed the subject of her thoughts and she watched as his face gradually drained of colour as he took in the scene.
"Is he..." Jennifer closed the book and put it on
the blanket next to Jarod's hand.
"He's still alive - just. At least, they did an EEG and there was brain activity. I can't help thinking, though, that it was less than it would usually be for him." Jennifer's voice was cold and emotionless but Sydney was so caught up in his feelings that he never noticed.
"They're not sure that he'll ever wake up." She fought back the tears and moved away from the bed so that Sydney wouldn't see her face. He took her place in the chair and she moved over to the window and stared out at the trees which were bending under the strong winds which usually foreshadowed a storm.
"Do you think he can hear us?"
"I don't know, Sydney." Her voice shook and she had to swallow several times before she could speak again. "The doctors said he might be able to. They really aren't sure."
Jennifer half turned when she felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked into Michelle's eyes as they overflowed with sympathy, causing her own to fill again with tears.
"And how are you doing?"
Jennifer looked up from the book to see Sydney asleep in his chair on the other side of the hospital bed. He had protested that sleep would be impossible but after Michelle telling her that he had driven them both from Michelle's house to the hospital without a break, Jennifer knew what he would need as much sleep as he could get. For that matter, as Sarah had told her, they all would but she wouldn't allow herself to close her eyes. She had to be there, and awake, no matter what happened.
Walking over to the playpen, she picked up her son and carried him over to the window. Softly she began to tell him the names of the trees that they could see through the small pane of glass. Everyone who entered the room spoke softly, as though the patient could be disturbed. In the silence, Jennifer's mind flew back to a conversation that she and Jarod had had just after Lyle and Brigitte had experimented on her.
"You told me that you once believed in God. What happened?"
"That's true. I used to believe in God. I guess I don't anymore." He looked up at her from his seat on the floor.
"Why not?"
She sighed and unconsciously placed one hand on her arm where the drugs had been injected.
"Every night, while Lyle and Brigitte were holding me in the Centre, I prayed to God to get me out of the situation so that I wouldn't have to deal with it again. But he didn't. I was still there when I woke up every morning. Jarod, I don't..." The sobbing cut her short and Jarod knelt in front of her, his face on a level with her own, and looked into her eyes. "I didn't want you to see me like this, not with all the bruises and cuts. I wanted to be okay by the time you found that I was out. I even made Sydney promise not to call you." He moved to sit next to her and she buried her head in his shoulder. "But even earlier than that, after my parents died..." her voice trembled, revealing to him an emotion that she had never shown when talking about her family. " After they died, I prayed to God that I wouldn't be alone, that I wouldn't feel lonely. But I did. I felt like the whole world was passing by and that I had stepped out of the parade. I couldn't do anything except watch it go. And so I stopped believing."
"I'm sorry." His voice was a whisper. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there to help you. I'm sorry that you had to go through it alone. But I don't ever want you to hide things like that from me. Let me help you to deal with them. I want to help you."
The ringing of a mobile phone brought her out of her daydream and she turned to see Sydney jump and pull the cellphone from his pocket. Despite being on the other side of the room, she could still hear what was being said.
"Sydney, where the hell are you?"
"Does it matter?" There was a short pause, resulting, Jennifer guessed, from Miss Parker's shock at receiving such an unusual answer.
"Of course it damn well matters. There hasn't been a clue left by rat-boy in over a month, I've got the whole Triumvirate on my back and you're off having a holiday somewhere."
Sydney's jam set firmly and Jennifer knew that he was fighting for control as much as she was. They both turned to look at the figure on the bed.
"Sydney? Sydney, answer me, dammit!"
"Parker...go to hell!"
Sydney disconnected the call and he and Jennifer stared at each other for several seconds before they both burst out laughing. It was only brief, however. The gravity of the situation brought them out of their amusement and Jennifer moved over and was about to hug Sydney when a thought occurred to her.
"Could they trace that? I mean, can they find out where we are?"
"Jarod gave me a device about a month ago that would prevent the Centre from being able to trace it. At least, it gives the impression that I'm at home. But for now..." He turned the phone over and removed the battery from the handset. Jennifer watched as he placed it in the bin that sat in the corner of the room.
"You're putting Jarod ahead of the Centre?"
"Don't you think it's time I did? After you found those files, it made me realise that I've been fooling myself all along. All I've been doing is putting space between us. In the end, it took you to show that to me."
"It sounds as though you're jealous." Sydney looked at her as he took his seat beside the bed and she put Kyle back in the playpen.
"In a way I was. When Jarod suddenly stopped calling so often, I couldn't help wondering who or what was preventing him. And I kept hoping that it wasn't another person, never dreaming that it was someone just a few doors down the hall."
Jennifer took the seat opposite.
"In some ways, Jarod is very like his son. He's always running after new things and, when he does, he often leaves the old things. But he always comes back to them. He would have started calling you again, if...if this hadn't happened. If it's any consolation, he would never stop calling altogether."
"Really?" Sydney was interested. "Why not?"
"He thinks you know things...about his family. He won't stop until he finds out about them, and about himself, if it means going back into the Centre to do it."
"Would he...really?"
"He'd think he had to."
"He'd never get out again."
"Oh, I don't know. Other people have got out of the Centre. Why shouldn't he?" Sydney looked at Jennifer and a small smile curled the corners of his mouth.
"You mean the Major and the boy? But I doubt you'd get access to Jarod."
"And why not? Raines would need someone to take notes and who better than his trusted secretary and computer analyst? After all, I've redesigned the entire system so that it's more secure than it ever was before. Why should he doubt me?"
Sydney's expression was so comic that she was unable to suppress her amusement. The laughter woke up her son and he pulled himself to his feet and began to gurgle. Jennifer walked over, picked him up and gave him to Sydney.
"And now?" Sydney continued with the conversation as Kyle began to pull at his tie.
"I can't help thinking of what Jarod would want. I'm not going back there - I can't, not after this. But I'm going to do what I should have done at the start." She walked over and pulled out her laptop from a bag in the corner of the room.
"What are you going to do?" Jennifer pulled out two floppy disks from the case, putting one into the drive. For a few moments she concentrated and then, removing the disk from the machine, she tossed it over to Sydney.
"That's the record of your time with the Centre. Every file and fact that I could find when I was creating the database. For you, Broots and Miss Parker." She then plugged the computer into the phone cable and began to send messages through it. "That will send a copy of all the information to my computer at our...the house." Her jaw trembled slightly but stopped as she pushed the last disk into the computer and began to activate it. "And that is going to send a nasty little virus into the Centre's mainframe." Sydney grinned.
"And this nasty little virus is going to do what?"
"Immediately? Not much. Over a few weeks, though, several files are gradually going to disappear. Only small ones at the beginning, but then gradually larger ones until the whole system is blank. The Centre relies on their computers for everything. Anything they send will immediately corrupt everything it finds - files, data, the whole lot. And the traces of the virus will be very easy to find for anyone to find, allowing people to discover Centre contacts by following the leads."
"But won't that corrupt your computer as well?"
"Jarod...and I created this some time ago and made sure that my computer was immune to the virus. I will, however, have a continued record of any messages they send."
"Continued? So you've always known what was going in and out?"
"Well, of course. It wouldn't be much use to know everything about the Centre if I couldn't find out what was happening, would it?"
"And now?"
"Any records of your association with the Centre, or Broots, Miss Parker, Jacob or Angelo, will now have vanished. You'll also find a healthy pay cheque has been deposited in your bank account. Consider it a termination payment."
"What?!"
"Well, with a new chance at life, do you want to have to keep working there, with all the risk involved?"
Sydney remained silent.
"Besides, you've always said that you only wanted to stay there until Jarod was safe. And he is - from Centre capture." Jennifer's voice faded away as her mind filled with the other, and greater, threat, and she was unable to speak.
***
The disturbance in the doorway brought Jennifer’s eyes from the figure on the bed and watched as three nurses fought to keep the woman from the room. Sydney had left, several hours earlier, to have dinner with Michelle. But he had extracted a promise from Jennifer that he would be contacted immediately if anything changed. Seeing who had just arrived, Jennifer was pleased that he had gone. Miss Parker was alone, Jennifer noted, with no sweepers in sight and she mentally congratulated herself on having made a plan for a circumstance like this. At a nod, Sarah, who had arrived as Sydney was leaving, slipped into the corner and a look from Jennifer dispersed the nurses from the doorway. Miss Parker stepped into the room and froze as her eyes took in the sight. Then, suddenly, the feeling of a hard point pressed into her back made her hesitate and she automatically reached for her gun.
“You needn’t bother.” Jennifer voice was as calm as she had hoped it would be. “It’s gone.” She walked over and took the weapon from the nurse who had managed to slip it away without being noticed.
“Well, well, well, so you have been helping him all the time.” Parker’s voice sneered and her top lip curled.
“Helping him? No. I’ve been working with him. As I told you on the message.”
“You mean…that was real? Genuine?” Jennifer didn't reply verbally but nodded and Miss Parker changed the topic of conversation. "And what's this place? I'm guessing it's not a public hospital."
"Not exactly. The people working here are all friends of mine. Working for and with me."
"So what have you done with Sam? I can guess it's no co-incidence that he happens to be missing right at the moment."
"You're right. He's got a sore head but apart from that, he's fine. If...when Jarod wakes up, Sam will be returned to the Centre."
Miss Parker's eyes travelled to the figure on the bed.
"And if he doesn't?"
"He will." Jennifer's voice held the certainty which she didn't really feel and it was only the woman standing before her that prevented Jennifer from sinking into the chair and allowing the tears, amassing in her eyes, to fall. As a method of distracting herself from the feelings,
Jennifer scooped up the small boy from where he was playing on the floor.
“Tell me, Miss Parker. Just by looking at him, can you guess who his father is?” Miss Parker’s face wore a startled expression as her eyes travelled over the small visage, recognising instantly the dark eyes and other features.
“Jarod’s…his father?”
“Oh, very good. I think you could move forward to the bonus round with an answer like that.”
“And what’s the bonus round?” The needle in Miss Parker's arm made her turn but the contents were injected before she had a chance to react. With astonishing rapidity, she felt her limbs begin to give way but her mind remained clear and, despite being unable to move from her position on the floor, she could still hear what was being said.
“So that you don’t run back to the Centre with this little bit of news, I’m afraid that we’re going to have to keep you quiet for a while. Oh, don’t worry. The medication will wear off, eventually. At least I hope it will. That's what I've been told.” Jennifer looked up as a trolley was wheeled into the room. The orderly winked at her and then picked up Miss Parker and put her onto the gurney. The woman’s face was calm, the drug having fully taken effects, but in the eyes blazed a fierce energy as they glared up at Jennifer, who responded with a merriment that she didn't really feel.
"Oh come now, Miss Parker. I wouldn't worry. Everything will be fine. A couple of days, hopefully, and we can let you go back to Daddy. All you have to do is wait until Jarod wakes up. Not too difficult, is it?"
The slow blinking, which was the only voluntary movement of which the patient was capable, hid the anger which filled Miss Parker's eyes as she realised the trap into which she'd fallen. It had been foolish to obey the directions on the note she'd received that day. But her only thought had been bringing Jarod back - alone. An event that she was certain would have given her the freedom that she wanted, despite what her father had said. This was why she hadn't contacted the Centre before leaving Maine. Now she was as much as physical prisoner as she had ever been a mental one during her years of involvement with the Centre.
Jennifer turned back to the bed and sank back into the chair beside it. Sarah returned the gun to Jennifer's holster and placed it back in the bag.
"You did the right thing."
"Oh, I'm not worried about that." Jennifer sighed and, reaching forward, took Jarod's hand in both of hers. "I just keep hoping that every time I look around he's going to be looking at me. I keep waiting for him to let me know that he knows I'm here."
Sarah put a hand on her shoulder. "You aren't giving up, are you?"
"Sometimes I feel like I should. You know, just let him go."
"But is that what he would want?"
"I guess not."
"Besides, there's another reason."
"Really, what?" Sarah pointed to the boy, who was in a playpen in the corner.
"He needs a father. They both do."
***
Jennifer was sleeping, her head resting on the bed near Jarod's hand and her hand wrapped in his, when Sydney and Michelle returned. Sarah stood up and silently ushered them out of the room.
"Jennifer asked me to show you something." She led them out of the room and into a nearby one. Sydney lips twitched with amusement as he saw Miss Parker strapped to the bed in the middle of the room. Her eyes blazed with the same anger that she had felt earlier. The only difference was that now, as the medication wore off, she was able to speak. Her room, as she had been told, was soundproof and, after several minutes of aggressive yelling, she began to realise that if anyone could actually hear her, they weren't going to come. Since then she had fallen silent, only occasionally cursing under her breath at the situation.
"Well, Miss Parker, what a surprise to find you here as well!"
"Dammit, Sydney, is there where you've been all along?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact. Jennifer called me earlier today and suggested that I should come."
"So you know about the two of them?"
"I worked it out some time ago. In fact I'm rather surprised that you didn't know." Sydney allowed his voice to take on a patronising tone.
"After all, with your feminine instinct, I would have expected you to guess some time ago. Or perhaps that instinct only works when you're pursuing Jarod." Michelle suppressed a splutter of amusement and she hurriedly backed out of the room so that she could enjoy the laugh in peace.
***
Jennifer's head shot up as a crack of thunder brought her out of the sound sleep. A figure in the corner made her turn but the brilliant illumination of the lightning showed her the white hair and solid figure and she turned back to Jarod.
"I thought you'd be gone longer, Sydney."
"It's not..." Jennifer turned in amazement. "Major? Major Charles? But...how did you...?"
"I found out where he was and I came as soon as possible."
"And...the boy...?"
"He, along with the rest of my family..."
"You found them, then? Oh, how wonderful! Jarod will be thrilled!" The man walked around and stood behind her.
"Tell me, Jennifer, do you really think he's going to wake up?" She sighed and turned back to the figure on the bed.
"I...don't know. The doctors think he might, perhaps, one day." The man went to the door and opened it. Immediately three other figures walked into the room. In the dim light, Jennifer could see the red hair, now slowly going grey, of the older woman and the dark hair of the younger girl. She had no trouble recognising the boy from the short time they had spent together, and also from the few DSAs she had seen of Jarod as a boy.
"Oh God!" Jennifer, not knowing which of the group had uttered the statement, stood and moved away from the bed, allowing Jarod's family the first view of him that they had had for some time. As she was about to leave, though, the older woman grabbed her arm.
"Please, tell me that my son's going to be alright."
"I would give anything to be able to tell you that, but I honestly can't. I don't know. No-one does." Jennifer walked over to the playpen and picked up her son. The younger woman, whose name Jennifer knew, followed her.
"This is Kyle." She handed the boy to his aunt. "We named him in honour of Jarod's brother." Jennifer looked up quickly to see Margaret wiping a tear from her cheek.
"I'm terribly sorry. This is an awful time to mention it."
"No," the woman came over and looked down at the baby and then back up at his mother with a weak smile. "No, it's lovely that you thought of it."
Jennifer leant back against the windowsill, with her back against the glass that allowed a view of the room from the hallway.
"Jarod's always felt guilty about what happened, feeling that it should have been him. I thought it might be a way to relieve that."
"What happened - to Lyle, I mean." Charles turned around and looked at Jennifer.
"He's a prisoner of the Centre. After you two," she smiled at the boy, "escaped, they, Lyle and Brigitte, experimented on me until Raines found out. Raines always liked me and he's punished Lyle. He's unable to leave the Centre now, or he'll die quickly and unpleasantly."
" And a good thing too!"
"Charles!" Margaret admonished.
"Well, it is."
"Actually," interposed a voice from the doorway. "I am forced to agree with you."
Jennifer took back her son as the group took a collective step backwards, away from the intruder. She smiled. "It's okay. Sydney's definitely been one of the best friends that we could have had, especially since...this happened."
"Major," Sydney stepped forward and held out his hand. "It's good to see you again. And Margaret, and you, Emily."
"Surely you remember, Mamma," interposed Emily, "he saved our lives, that day when we first saw Jarod in Boston. Thank-you," she came forward and shook his hand, "for letting us get away that day."
Margaret came forward and held out her hand. "I'm sorry. It's just been so long since I've been able to trust anyone..." Sydney's expression became slightly haggard as he took her hand in both of his
"I understand."
Jennifer slipped out of the room and allowed the group to get to know each other. As she was making coffee for herself, she felt that another person was in the room with her and, turning, she saw the boy.
"I never had a chance...to thank you."
"For what?"
"Helping us to escape." Jennifer turned and looked at him, a smile curling the corners of her mouth. "Well, you could have made it easier."
"Yeah...well..." She walked over and knelt in front of him. "What is it? What else is wrong?"
"It's just...seeing him like that. He's..."
"A part of you. It's natural that you should feel that way. Heck, it's hard on all of us and we all want to do something about it."
"Especially on you."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, aren't you...?" Jennifer looked down at the small boy she had just put down on the floor of the kitchenette. "Yes, I suppose we are."
"Have you seen Miss Parker?"
"Would you like to?"
"Well, yeah. She was really nice to me." Jennifer hesitated.
"She...might not be so nice this time."
"Why?" The face that looked up at her carried an expression so familiar that it brought tears to her eyes.
"I'll show you." She ushered him down the hall and into the other room, where Miss Parker still lay bound to the bed. The Centre operative's eyes narrowed as she saw both Jennifer and the boy enter the room.
"Well, so you found them. I'm impressed."
"Actually, they found me. Walked in on me, the whole group." Miss Parker turned her attention to the boy. "And you're helping them too, I suppose?" He looked a little uncomfortable.
"Well, yes. I have to. They're..."
Jennifer interrupted smoothly.
"They're his family, Miss Parker. You couldn't expect him to work against the family he's just getting to know could you? After all, you have such a strong belief in family yourself that you wouldn't want to deny him the chance, I'm absolutely certain."
She put a hand on the boy's shoulder and steered him out of the room, leaving Miss Parker to choke angrily over her response.
***
When Jennifer returned to the room, Sydney and the Major had left it. The boy had taken Kyle to the playroom down the hall and so she was alone with Emily and Margaret.
"You've known him for a long time." Margaret's voice broke through the silence of the room but her eyes never moved from her son's face. It was a situation Jennifer knew well.
"Three years. But I'd seen him before that."
"Tell me. I want to know what my son was like."
"I was on the bus, travelling to work one day and I saw this man who kept watching me. It was very subtle but I've always been fairly aware of what was going on around me and if I looked up quickly I could see his eyes leave my face. It became a kind of game, for me anyway. Perhaps he found it annoying, I don't know. I never asked him. But then, a few weeks later, he turned up at the office. I matched the face and then remembered where I'd heard about him. It all started there."
"And what's he like?"
"Well, I might be a little biased..."
"I bet you are." Emily smiled as she made the statement.
***
The doctor walked into the room and the six visitors turned to him. He came over to Jennifer, being the one person he knew, but his comments were addressed to everyone as he led them out of the room and into a nearby office, which was empty.
"I said, when this first occurred, that a last resort would be an operation to try and end the coma. I'm afraid that it's now our only chance." Margaret's face sank into her hands and her shoulder heaved as the emotion from the last few days that they had spent in the hospital began to come out. He husband moved over and put his hands on her shoulders.
"And what chance will that give him?"
"I'm afraid that it will only increase his chances by about five percent. But if we don't do it, then it's unlikely that he will wake up. There was a lot of internal injury..." Jennifer had stopped listening and she clutched her son in her arms and thought of trying to bring up the two children without the person who meant so much to her. Her mind went back to a dream that she had had the previous evening.
' "Momma?"
"What is it, Kyle?" The boy, now twelve, stood beside her bed with his chest heaving, out of breath and pale. "What happened?"
"There was...a man in my room!" She grabbed the boy and pulled him up onto her bed.
"What do you mean? Where was he?"
"Well, he came from the wall and then he stood at the end of the bed, watching me, for a few seconds before he disappeared."
"Disappeared? Kyle, are you sure you weren't dreaming?"
"No, Momma. Look." He held out his arm and she saw the red area where he had obviously pinched himself to make sure that it was real.
"What did he look like?"
"He looked...like that." The boy pointed to the photo that Jennifer had on her wall of Jarod, taken only two months before the shooting. "Just like Dad."
"Oh, Kyle. You know it couldn't have been him."
"I know...but it was!"
"Now Kyle," she took the boy's chin in her hand and made him look at her. "I'm sure it was just your imagination. And, even if it wasn't, you know that he wouldn't hurt you."
"Are you sure?" She kissed him gently on the forehead.
"I'm positive." He scrambled off her bed and went back to his own. Through the thin walls of the house she could hear him getting in to bed and, after a few minutes, was almost asleep herself when her door was flung open and her daughter threw herself at her mother.
"What is it, Emily? What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"The...the man. He's come to get me."
"What man, darling?" Emily looked behind her and pointed to the doorway.
"That one! The one standing right there! The one that looks like Daddy!"
Jennifer looked at the place her daughter was pointing but could see nothing. However she comforted her in the same way that she had done with her son, thinking at the same time that it was a little unfair that they had obviously seen their father and she hadn't. She had woken up from the dream feeling strangely comforted but the thought that it could now be real was not something that she could contemplate. In an attempt to control her feelings, she listened to what the doctor was saying.
"...The operation could take some time - anything up to eight hours, in fact. And we need to do it as soon as possible. In fact I would suggest that it take place today."
Jennifer glanced at her watch. It was only nine o'clock, which meant that the best part of the day would be taken up with the surgery. When the doctor left the room, several moments later, to prepare for the operation, the group remained seated. Finally Sydney stood and looked around.
"I'm going to Michelle's for the best part of today. I would suggest that you might like to come," he looked at Jarod's parents, sister and the boy.
"We really can't do anything by staying here."
"But...just in case..." As Margaret said the words, Charles put an arm around her shoulder.
"I know how you feel, but I think Sydney's right. We can't do anything here. I'm going to go in and see him. Do you want to come? And then we could go with Sydney to see Michelle and her son."
The group left the room and only Sydney, Jennifer and Nicholas were left.
"Do you want to join us?" Jennifer shook her head. "No. I'll stay here and wait. Even if I can't do anything, I'll feel better by staying. And," her mouth tried to smile but there was no life in her eyes.
"Maybe I can get Miss Parker to forgive me for holding her here."
Sydney smiled slightly in response.
"Well, I won't hold my breath, but maybe." He began to leave the room.
"Sydney?"
"Yes?"
"I know that Jarod would want me to thank you for everything you've done. I know that he forgave you, especially after that phone call. I thought you might like to know." Sydney nodded and left the room, determined not to let her see the tears in his eyes.
***
Jennifer stood as the doctor entered the room. She moved back against the wall, out of the way, while they rolled the bed into its usual position. Her eyes travelled over the still figure and she saw little difference, except for the bandages around the head that completely hid his dark hair.
"Jennifer? Can I have a word?" She followed the doctor into the hallway but her eyes continued to look through the window at the body on the bed.
"Jennifer, I'm sorry."
"What?" She shook her head to clear her mind and then stared at the doctor.
"There's nothing else we can do now."
"You mean he could...?" The word stuck in her throat.
"I'm afraid it's quite likely. There's nothing more that modern medicine can do for him. All we can do is hope - and pray."
' "You told me that you once believed in God. What happened?" ' The memory of the phrase drifted teasingly through Jennifer's mind and she hardly noticed when the doctor touched her on the arm and moved away, down the hall. When the room was empty, she walked back in, pausing on the threshold as she had done on the day that he was first admitted. Her memory began assailing her with images of their time together.
“What makes you think I was in Oregon?”
"Let’s shut this place down!”
“How do I know if I can trust you?”
“Can no-one keep anything from you?”
“You get away with so much!”
"If you want to go for a walk, it’s better to do so in fine weather and not when there’s a blizzard going.”
“A boy…I’m going to be a father…”
“Well, if nothing interrupts us, I thought I’d give myself a vacation.”
"What would I do without you?"
"Are you really going to be okay?"
"Are you always thinking about other people?"
"I love you."
Each thought accompanied a step into the room until, with the last thought, she stood beside the bed. The last thought caused tears to course down her cheeks and she began to sob wildly.
"Oh, Jarod, please. You can't expect me to bring up these children alone, can you? Do you want them to grow up without a father?" The tears that flowed freely down her face began to soak into her top and also to fall onto the bed sheets. "I need you. I've always needed you so much. I haven't been lonely or unhappy since I met you, even when things were going badly. I can't afford to lose you now."
' "You told me that you once believed in God. What happened?" ' The thought appeared again, accompanied by the doctor's advice.
" All we can do is hope - and pray." ' Jennifer dropped to her knees by the bed and took one of Jarod's hands in both of hers. Then she did something that she had thought she would never do again. She began to pray.