My One and Only Love
As You Were (3/3)
by thetilde

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Category: J/7 PWP WAFF (Warm and Fuzzy Feeling). Involves loving intimacy between two women. If you take offense at such things, stop reading.
Spoilers: Post-“End Game” and post-“Nemesis”
Disclaimers: The characters and situations of the television program "Star Trek Voyager" are the creations and property of Paramount Pictures, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. However, I retain the rights to the plot. You may download and distribute this story as long as my name stays on the by-line.
Archive: Ask and you shall receive. Contact me at omegapoint79@yahoo.com.
Rating: PG
Summary: Post-“End Game” and post-“Nemesis”. A peek at the lives of our favorite pair, and my take of what their life together would be like.
Author’s note: My eternal gratitude to Gershwin, Sinatra, Bennet and Fitzgerald; without whose music this story would never have been possible. And yes, the chapter titles are from *classic* songs. The versions I wrote to are (respectively) by Tony Bennet, Gershwin and Sting. Special thanks to Timerunner and KiteInFlight. It had to be you.
Dedication: For all those who take each other as they are, everyday. God bless you.
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"I don't know how you manage to look more beautiful every time I see you." Kathryn said with awe as Seven came out of the en suite.

Kathryn looked her up and down, taking in the stunning strapless metallic gray gown she wore. It was a simple sheath that showed off her figure, and split at about mid-thigh on one side to expose her leg when she moved. She had also let her hair down, the rich blonde tresses cascading on her slim shoulders down to the middle of her back like a waterfall of light.

Seven rolled her eyes. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Kathryn asked.

"Tell me how beautiful I am. There is no more need to flatter me." Seven moved close to the petite red-head and placed soft kisses on her chin and cheek.

Kathryn held her close, smoothing her hand over the bare skin of Seven’s chest. "I like telling you you're beautiful because you are. It's not just lip service."

“Ah. What is this ‘lip service’?”

Kathryn stood on the tips of her toes and captured Seven’s face between her hands. They kissed each other delicately, with the care of two people who had never kissed before.

Seven smiled at her lover as they parted, running her finger gently over Kathryn’s lower lip. "Then I must reciprocate by telling you that you look fucking hot, Kathryn."

The object of her affections let out a sharp laugh. “I’m going to have to tell B’Elanna to watch her mouth around you, my love.”

“What makes you think I ‘pick up’ these things from B’Elanna?” Seven said with a meaningful look.

“I would never use such language.” Kathryn replied primly.

“Whatever you say, Admiral.”

“Now,” Kathryn said as she twirled around, “do I look pretty enough for you?”

Seven grinned at Kathryn’s deep sapphire shift, cut low enough at the front to reveal the smaller woman’s freckles, falling gently over her hips before stopping with a slight flare at her calves.

"My beautiful Kathryn," she said. "Everything to everyone, and still some ‘left over’ for her to be herself."

"Is that really what you think of me?" Kathryn asked seriously.

She nodded. "Now more than ever."

Kathryn favored her with a small half-smile as they put on their wraps and walked to the transporter room.

“Where are we dining?” Seven asked.

“Oh, I thought we’d try something a little different this time.” Kathryn said vaguely.

“Kathryn… the last time you wanted to ‘try something different’…”

The petite Admiral swatted Seven of Nine’s arm playfully as she set the transporter controls. “When are you going to trust me, Seven?”

“When have I not, Kathryn?”

They beamed onto a wide, familiar platform and Seven’s eyes widened at the familiar sight. “I thought…”

“They make allowances for old Captains.” Kathryn smiled. “And little old Admirals who carry big phase compression rifles.”

“Ah yes, Betsy,” Seven bantered, “your mistress.”

The transporter room doors opened and Seven let out an audible gasp.

Icheb stood politely in the doorway, impeccable in the formal uniform of a Starfleet cadet. “If you will follow me Admiral, Ma’am… your table is ready for you.”

Kathryn took Seven’s hand and led the startled ex-drone through Voyager’s corridors. They sparkled in an almost friendly manner, welcoming all three of its former occupants as if it too were in on the surprise.

Before Seven could venture another comment, the voice of another old friend came over the ship-wide comm system.

“Admiral Janeway, Seven of Nine,” Tom Paris said formally, “welcome to the new and improved Intrepid class starship Voyager. I’m your pilot and together with Commander Tuvok on Ops and Lieutenant Torres in Engineering. We’ll be taking you on a short cruise through the solar system and the horse-head nebula this evening. Enjoy the ride.”

“Please extend my gratitude to the rest of the crew, Icheb.” Seven said softly. “And promise me you will be turning in your Xenobiology paper on time tomorrow.”

Icheb only nodded as they took the short turbo lift ride to Deck 2.

“Surprised?” Kathryn asked gleefully.

“Surprised is an inadequate term.” Seven replied. “Who else has been invited on this date?”

“I’m sure you’d like to know.” Kathryn smiled as Icheb ushered them through the mess hall doors.

A single table had been placed near the large view ports. Seven recognized Gretchen’s best table cloth, silverware and china; along with hand-blown glass candelabra that Phoebe had been working on the the last time they had visited Indiana.

She also recognized the Doctor and Harry Kim, on the grand piano and clarinet respectively. They struck up a slow song when the two women entered.

Icheb took their wraps as little Naomi Wildman, immaculate in a small yeoman’s uniform ushered them to their table.

Seven, to put it plainly, was stunned.

“Admiral, Ma’am,” Naomi smiled, “I’d like to welcome you to the mess hall on behalf of our chef Chakotay. Our menu for tonight is a light vegetable consommé, mixed green salad with the house dressing, Sole Meuniere with seared scallops, and strawberry and chocolate parfait for dessert.”

Kathryn thanked Naomi and Icheb as she pulled out Seven’s chair, her hands drifting tenderly over Seven’s shoulders as the young woman sat down.

“Kathryn…” Seven said. “This is beautiful. But…”

“Oh relax, Seven.” Kathryn replied reassuringly. “They’ve just refitted her and the ship needed to be put through its paces anyway. I’m just killing two birds with one stone.”

“And the others?” Seven said; suddenly shy at all this attention.

Kathryn spread her hands expansively. “Magic.”

“Everything is magic with you, Kathryn.” Seven smiled as Naomi discreetly placed the small bowls of consommé in front of them.

“How was your afternoon?” Kathryn asked.

“Tiresome.” Seven replied. “Lieutenant Torres and I had an argument.”

Kathryn massaged the bridge of her nose while Icheb filled their glasses with red wine.

“I suppose you gave B’Elanna advice about child-rearing?”

“Yes.”

“And she didn’t take it well.” Kathryn said, more of a statement than a question.

Seven’s lips pressed together in irritation but she kept her tone light. "There are dogs in Boston that have permanent hearing loss due to her outburst.”

Kathryn sighed and gave her a thoughtful look. "You know, Seven, I really hate to tell you 'I told you so' –"

"No you don't," Seven actually snorted. "You love being right. You love nothing more than to gloat that you were right and I was wrong.”

Seven’s mouth relaxed in a knowing grin. “Go ahead, Kathryn.”

The smaller woman frowned. "You really know how to suck the joy out of a good gloat."

“I am Borg.” Seven smiled.

“Mmm.” Kathryn murmured as she took Seven’s hand across the table. “And you’re mine.”

“I have always been yours, Kathryn.” Seven said quietly. “Thank you for all of this. May I ask what the ‘special occasion' is?”

“I thought you wanted a real date?” Kathryn smiled.

“A date where Chakotay is replicating our meal was not what I expected.” Seven said wryly, taking a tentative sip of her soup. “Hmmm.”

“How is it?”

“Better than Neelix’s cooking.”

Kathryn laughed as the ship jumped to warp. The stars burst in a rainbow of light as they streaked by the view ports. Seven of Nine’s bewildered smile was once again haloed in the familiar glow of starlight.

They were finishing off their main course when Seven told Kathryn about her plans of pursuing not one, but two doctorates.

“I had no idea you were thinking this far ahead.” Kathryn said slowly. “Love, you know we would discuss any decisions to take on another mission, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And you know you could always take up the Astrometrics post on any ship I captain.”

Seven looked up quickly. “I could?”

“I’d be stupid not to have you.”

“What about the crew?”

“What about them?” Kathryn said gently, her hands moving to indicate the rest of Voyager’s staff.

Seven shook her head. “Kathryn, be serious… I know you would be uncomfortable with the perception of their commanding officer dating a subordinate.”

“Are we dating?” Kathryn asked softly.

“I…” Seven felt a nervous knot building in her chest. It had never occurred to her that they would stop dating should they take another deep space mission. She felt as if someone had pointed a disruptor at her chest and fired point-blank. “Excuse me.”

Kathryn put out her hand in alarm. “Seven.”

“I will only be a moment.” Seven said as she disentangled herself from the tablecloth and rushed around the galley towards the en suite.

She gasped as she literally ran straight into Chakotay.

“Hey…” He said grasping her upper arms so that she could regain her balance. “Seven? What’s wrong?”

Seven took shallow gulps of air and shook her head. “It is nothing.”

“Mhmm. Looks like the same nothing that used to make you cry when you were with me.” Chakotay said ruefully. “What happened?”

She wrapped her arms around him in despair, burying her head in his shoulder.

“Seven, do you trust me?” He asked gently, rubbing her back gently as she nodded. “Alright, then… let’s look at this logically. Kathryn’s gone through a lot of trouble for this dinner. So this is a good thing. We both know she loves you.”

“Chakotay, take me away from here…”

He smiled wistfully. “We tried that already, remember? It didn’t work out so well.”

Seven let out a small laugh despite her tears.

“Seven, why don’t I gather the rest of the crew and leave the two of you alone.” Chakotay whispered, cradling her tenderly. “It will all be okay. I promise.”

“She does not understand.” Seven cried softly. “I only want to love her. That is all I have ever wanted. Why doesn’t she see that?”

“Listen to me.” He said, pulling her away from him so he could look in her eyes. “You know her better than any of us do. She has a brave spirit… it’s a brave heart she lacks.”

“Chakotay, I do not need you prosaic sayings.”

He shook his head. “No, you need to stop crying and let the evening play out. We both know you’ll follow her into hell whenever and however she wants you. Resistance really is futile when she’s concerned.”

Seven laughed again.

“C’mon. Freshen up and get back out there.” He chuckled, swatting her lightly on the butt. “Or I’ll really try and cook something.”

Chakotay was as good as his word. When Seven returned from the en suite, she found the mess hall empty. Their parfaits were melting in their containers and Kathryn was facing the viewport, backlit by the starlight that filtered through the horse-head nebula.

Seven walked to stand beside her and quietly took her hand. They stood in silence, looking out at the stars.

“I’m sorry.” Seven finally said.

“Oh no, love, it’s my fault.” Kathryn replied quietly. “I… I just wanted everything to be perfect.”

Seven took a deep breath. “Everything is perfect as long as I am with you.”

“I know.” Kathryn admitted. “I feel that way too. I always have. It… it just scares me sometimes, Seven, how good we are together… Sometimes I look at you and I feel so much for you it aches; the warmth just pushes out of my chest. I look at you and I want to make you happy. I tell you I love you and I make love to you, but I don’t know… I don’t know how to show you how much you’ve given me, how much I need you.”

Seven gathered the smaller woman in her arms, murmuring soothingly. “It’s alright. I understand.”

“Oh Seven.” Kathryn sighed. “You don’t, you really don’t understand and I want so much to be able to show you. But then I feel shy or embarrassed or complacent, and I focus on work and don’t make enough time to be with you.”

“Kathryn, do not berate yourself.” Seven said. “You are a wonderful lover.”

“But that’s just it, Seven. I don’t want to be just your lover. I don’t want you to think that I just love you for your body or your mind. I love you and everything you are, and I don’t always know how to make you feel that, to make you understand.” Kathryn looked up at her, focusing on the deep blue ocean of her eyes.

“Seven, I know I said we should just see how it goes… take our relationship day by day. But that was before I knew how hard I was inside, and how much more difficult it is to be softer… and how much more rewarding it would be to let you in and let you love me.”

“And now?” Seven asked.

“And now I’m messing this up again.” Kathryn laughed nervously. “Oh Seven, I don’t want to wait until an accident or a war threatens what we have together. I don’t want to wait until I’m sure my work will allow me to love you. And I don’t want to wait until my pride and my temper drive you away…”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m trying to ask you to marry me.” Kathryn said simply. “I can’t promise that I’ll be better or that I’ll stop taking you for granted. I… I can’t even promise that I’ll stop babbling. Oh God, Seven, I’m… I’m just a clumsy cantankerous old woman who loves you… I should have asked you to marry me long ago, no matter what scruples I had or how legitimate they were.”

Kathryn took a deep steadying breath and looked deep into the eyes of the woman she loved. “Seven, I… Do you think you can take me as I am?”

“Oh Kathryn…” Seven said softly. “I would have taken you as you were.”

Kathryn kissed her then, and the velvet touch of her lips spoke once again of the refuge and the peace she had never thought possible. She sighed as Seven’s hands trailed down to her waist, pulling her closer into their embrace as she deepened the kiss. Kathryn called out her name in soft short breaths between kisses.

They broke apart slowly, and Kathryn tenderly brushed away the tears on Seven’s cheeks. She looked up and marveled once more at the delicate beauty of the young woman’s body and her soul.

Kathryn realized that she had come full circle, finally; her ship, her crew, her family and her life. And there, framed by the round, full, magnetic brilliance of the earth, Seven eclipsed all other lights. Her soft mouth trembling in a slight smile, her blue eyes deep and inviting, her cheeks flushed; the beauty of that vision alone was enough to steal Kathryn’s breath. “Seven…”

“Yes, Kathryn?”

“Thank you for bringing me home.”