| Though I still wish (of course) that Dan hadn't broken off our relationship, I am beginning to be glad that he has not wanted me back now. At this point I am not strong enough to be the person I want to be if he ever comes around. I admit it: I still believe he will come around, however long that is. But I am seeing now how dependant I was, and how I need to grow--something I knew before but didn't want to recognize. The only thing is, I didn't and still don't consider our relationship to have been unhealthy. There are extremes in most relationships, ranging from standoffish, no PDA-style (which I've never heard anyone say was unhealthy) to those lovey-dovey, extra-appendage relationships that gross everyone out and seem to reek of impending doom. Our relationship leaned towards the latter (purely because we did hold hands in public, not because we were always together) so I suppose it could be considered both ironic and perhaps serve as a warning sign that we both, as individuals, lean towards the former. Of course he was less affectionate than I--well, no, that's wrong. He was just as affectionate, but sometimes--he was a bit embarrassed in public. There. What he blushed from in public, though, he had no qualms about in private. |