Mr. Tightwad's Extremely Hardcore Tips on Saving Money Continued

31)Make Pretend you're your own Gov't : Politicians like to spend $600 dollars on a hammer because they know they don't have to pay for it you do. If we use conservative mentality and not be so liberial about how we budget on a daily basis then we'll manage our money better than the gov't ever dream of.
32)Use only 1 Sheet at a Time : I know this sounds really far fetched and whacked but there was a reason why those toilet paper companies created those sheets that way. I admit this sounds insulting but when we apply this method a 24 pack of toilet paper can last over 5 years per person.
33)Wipe it with your Gloves not Hand Tissue : Thank goodness this is the last tip because now I'm starting to sound quite mega hardcore about saving money. Everytime when we exercise in the winter our noses run like water. People who jog have applied this method but not with gloves. It's hard to handle tissue with gloves on. Why catch a nasty frostbite on your fingers when you have to reach for the darn handtissue. You can't recycle handtissue but you can always wash your gloves and save trees therefore making environmento whackos happy in the end.
34)Don't Commercialize Christmas : Why use Jesus' birthday as just another day to swap a bunch of material gifts in which we'll throw out a year or 2 later. One of the best gifts you can receive at Christmas is that you're in good health and you still have your same family & friends 365 days later. Besides the other person will feel obligated that they will have to buy you a present as well.
35)Get your own Gas : It seems like today we thrive on being served. If we do full service chances are that we'll tip the gas station attendant. Pumping gas may temporary leave a gassy smell on your hands but you can wash it off and get rid of the odor and save yourself from unwanted tipping.
36)Don't let Others Serve your Food go Get it Yourself : When you go to a restaurant on average your supposed to tip 15%. If you go to a buffet, it's the real cheap way of not tipping while getting the exact portions of what you want and how much you want. Really, it's less work on their part more on yours but your stomach will love you for it especially if your starving like a polar bear.
37)Make your Own Ice : Why would you prefer buying a bunch of pre-made ice that you're going to pay between $.99 to $6.99 or whatever for. Buying ice I guess you can say is like ordering a pitcher of water at a restaurant that you have to pay for.
38)Turn off your Light on Halloween : Kids know better to not trick-or-treat at houses where the porch light doesn't come on. So if you want to save money and not buy a bunch of candy for the yuts then you'll save up for maybe that possible going out to lunch special for later in the week and/or next week. Besides would you go to sleep better knowing that you've giving a bunch of sugar to kids that will rot their teeth and make them put on the pounds long a month before the holiday season begins.
39)Buy Shoes not Sneakers : Nowadays it seems like you're paying for the idiot who endorses the stupid sneaker as well as the name. Why would you pay $200 for a lousy piece of rubber/leather that will have holes and/or be ripped or torn apart about a month or 2 later. Sneakers are hyped up with extremely expensive commercials of what Mr. T.V. land director wants you to see what a sneaker is all about in their fantasy world. Besides look at professional basketball and see why they make more than just their annual $10 million dollar salary.
40)Stay Away from the Dating Rut : If you fall too much in love with the opposite sex chances are you'll spill the money like water and not realize and/or care about it. Eventually it could turn into marriage which is nothing but another 8 hour job after coming home from the 9 to 5 job you already have. Therefore your only break is your 8 or less hours of sleep unless you have young children which I guess you can say is the 3rd 8 hour job from 11 to 7.