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3. Prologue I said it again, I told him that I loved him. Am I lying? I don’t know. I know that I have wanted this, but I don’t know why. I know this is my escape, but from what? I can never leave Harry and for some reason, that doesn’t bother me. Why? I am content and happy. I feel more elated than I have ever been before in my life. Shouldn’t I be angry or sad? But there is one emotion I feel. Guilt. I feel guilty. I feel like I am betraying him. I know that I am lying. I know I am betraying him. How is it possible to fall in love with someone that I have hated for the entirety of my life? The worst thing I have ever experienced in my life is guilt. Before this happened, I used to push it away until I no longer felt guilt for any of my actions. Then that emotion was replaced by anger and it was then that I realized I was becoming my father, the person I hated most in this world. Harry is my escape, my way out. I know that here with him I am safe from my father, he cannot force me to choose between him and my mate because he know that I have to choose my mate. I am afraid though, veela’s only have one mate throughout their entire lifespan, and I know my fathers cruelty but would he? Would he, if he could, kill my mate? He would, I know he would, and then he would make me to become a deatheater like I was supposed to this year on the eve of my eighteenth. Then he would force me to marry, my fiancé, an arranged marriage from birth, that thing Pansy. I would be forced to mate with her and produce offspring to carry on the Malfoy line. To honor the family. That would be worse than death. I have to protect Harry from him. I look up into Harry’s eyes, so clear and perfect but it wasn’t until I was up this close to him that I realize how reflective of his emotions they are and how beautiful. How they shimmer like emeralds and change colors with his emotions. Right now, they are the deepest green in the first of autumn when the falling orange and red leaves settle upon the grass and set it off with startling contrast, like ships upon broken waves. That color right before the true eve of fall and the true eve of death gifted of the cold. He searches my eyes and I feel a blush rise in my cheeks with an embarrassment I have never experienced before. No one has, ever, looked at me that way. He cares, that is why. No one has ever cared about me unless it was to care about the money my father had to pay them, like my ‘friends’. His fingers gently trace my cheekbone, his eyes still locked to mine, no smile on his face but no frown either. The floor beneath us trembles as the train applies its breaks and begins to slow. He stands up carefully helping me to my feet. We change into our school robes as outside the world halts and the eager students hurry to the carriages and boats. I notice a silver gleam out of the corner of my eye, coming from Harry’s robes. A badge, the badge of the head boy. Harry was head boy but would they let his stay once they knew about me? He sees my gaze and gently places a hand upon the badge, covering it. You must be proud? I ask. He snorts softly, a sarcastic grin creeping onto his face. No, he murmurs, I actually sent several owls asking them to pick someone else but Dumbledore is convinced that I would be the perfect head boy. He nose twitches slightly as he looks out the window. Hagrid calling all the first year over to the boats, so many. There have been more and more first years ever since Voldemort returned. Everyone thinks that they are preparing for the upcoming confrontation, their poor excuse for a war, by gathering as many with even the slightest magical abilities to train them. What they can’t seem to grasp is the fact that it is simply too late and that bringing more young students into the schools will only result in more to protect and more to die. We step off the train and I feel a hand slip into my own, warm comforting. He gently pulls me along finding us a carriage at the end of the line that is empty. As soon as the door shuts the carriages rumble ahead, probably only waiting for the last two students to climb in. Harry smiles at me and return his smile. For some reason I feel as if I am part of some great hidden scheme to fool the world. A great joke but…the only one I am fooling is myself, and Harry. I sit beside him leaning my head against his shoulder, tangling my fingers through his hair. He takes my hand up and kisses it sweetly as he is the prince charming just met the lovely princess. He makes me feel like a princess. He says it with his eyes, that’s all I need. The carriage slows to a stop and again we wait while the others go on ahead. Harry looks at me, questioning me. His eyes ask me if I’m ready, if I can do this. He is asking me if I am ready to throw away all of my heritage, my life, my allies, my enemies…all for him? I say not a word but slowly draw my wand. His eyes are confused. I smile. Everything will be fine. I turn the wand, aim it at my chest and whisper a spell. A jet of magic shoots out and envelops the Slytherin coat of arms upon my robes leaving nothing but a plain black robe upon me. I will no longer be a Slytherin, I say as I carefully remove the green and silver tie and let it drop to the ground. His smile returns and he gestures me to follow him. We walk side by side to the front doors. I stop before them, a moment of hesitation. Harry turns to look at me. I pause for a moment then walk up to him and wrap my arms around his neck, placing my head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his hair. His arms wrap themselves around my waist and he holds me close to him, turning his head to plant a kiss upon the top of my head and then upon my lips. I’m ready, I somehow manage to whisper without my voice trembling at all. Our steps seem to echo infinitely through the stone hallway, a hundred times louder than they really were. We stop before the grand doors that hold our entrance, slightly open, allowing one to see through as the sorting ceremony is completed. Dumbledore begins his speech and as he looks around he spots Harry in the door way, but not me a step behind and embroiled in the shadows. He calls to Harry asks him to step out, he introduces Harry as Head Boy but all know him as the Golden Wonder Boy, The Boy Who Lived. Harry’s face, for just an instant, contorts into an mask of dislike, disgust and hatred but almost as soon as it is seen it disappears and it replaced with that face that is so well know to me, calm, happy, peaceful…innocent. He holds so much below the surface, hidden. He looks back at me and gently clasps my hand he looks happy but his eyes are desperate. He doesn’t want to go out there. He wants to run away just as much as I do, but he can’t now they are waiting for him. I could, I could run away and go to my dorm and never look back but I can’t. Because Harry is going I am going, he is my mate and I am loyal to Harry. It is something written in my being now, there is no point in fighting it. This is something to embrace. To fight it will only make it harder. I take his one hand holding mine between both of my hands and squeeze it reassuringly. He smiles and his eyes become clearer. He steps forward and I follow behind him. part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten, part eleven, part twelve back |