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The uncut X-Beacon files April 2001
Painswick Players Hit By Foot & Mouth: Millennium Review
Postponed Until Next Millennium?
It seemed a good idea at the time: a troupe of tap-dancing
sheep to open our planned Millennium Review. However, we thought without foot
and mouth. Now MAFF has insisted on culling the sheep, as well as the rest of
the cast, to be on the safe side. This is, of course, a great shame: some of
those sheep had real talent! Anyway, the upshot was (and is) that we have to
postpone the planned Millennium Review. Actually, that’s not strictly true. What really happened was that the Millennium Review fell
foul of the new European Comedy Directive, which is aimed at tackling a growing
number of cases of splitting sides following exposure to dangerously funny
material. Following a visit from the office for the Prevention of Overtly
Foolish Antics and Comic Excesses (POFACE), it was decided that the Millennium
Review was indeed too funny to be risked on an unprotected audience.
Reluctantly, therefore, we have had to burn all the material and postpone the
review until such time as a reliable vaccine can be developed. Oh, all right then, the truth. The truth is that we ran into a few technical problems with the review, notably regarding music, which meant that the production would not be 100% ready in time for the planned performance dates: 5th, 6th and 7th April. Rather than put on a sub-standard show, we have decided to postpone At Last! The Millennium Review until the autumn. Then, at last, the Millennium will be well and truly reviewed. Our apologies all round. The silver lining is that we will now be able to start rehearsals for our June production (Black Comedy by Peter Shaffer) a couple of weeks earlier than planned. Black Comedy is a brilliant comedy, based on a (literally) brilliant dramatic idea: when the lights are on, it’s dark on-stage and when they’re off, it’s light. If you see what I mean. Anyway, shortly after the play opens, there is a power cut and we watch a most disorganised young sculptor desperately trying to impress an eccentric millionaire art collector, whilst entertaining his prospective and less than enthusiastic father-in-law and preventing an uninvited old (but not very old) flame from meeting his ever-trusting fiancée. All in the dark. With a flat full of antique furniture, ‘borrowed’ from an absent and unsuspecting neighbour. Who returns unexpectedly. Which means that all the furniture must be returned surreptitiously. Still in the dark. Even though the neighbour is still sitting on some of it. And then the eccentric millionaire art collector turns out to be a central European service engineer from the electric company. It’s about this time that the Buddha’s head comes off… Confused? You won’t be if you come and see it at the Painswick Centre, 28th, 29th and 30th June. Or better still, get involved! We’re holding auditions on Wednesday 4th and Thursday 5th April, 8.00pm at the Painswick Centre (Green Room). We’re looking for eight budding actors. Age: mid-twenties (or younger) to mid-sixties (or older). Sex: optional. Or if you’d just like to find out what goes on back-stage, come along anyway. Finally. On 31st May, 1st and 2nd June, our very own Gill
Cox is directing what appears to be most of the population of Cranham in a
‘theatrical experience with surprises’ (her words) of George Eliot's Silas
Marner, adapted by Geoffrey Beevers, in Cranham Village Hall. Painswick Players
are saddling up and riding over en masse to Cranham for the 2nd June
performance. Given the cast of thousands and the size of Cranham Village Hall,
seats will be at a premium. So call Gill on 01452-814367 to be sure of a ticket. Jack Burgess, Painswick Players |
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