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The uncut X-Beacon files October 2001
Mystery of Imaginary Women Solved!Painswick Players Production in a Dickens of a Mess!
Question: If you’re insane enough to celebrate
your 50th birthday 12, 000 feet up in the Andes yomping the Inca Trail, what do
you do for an encore? Answer: Direct Painswick Players in The
Farnsdale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society’s
production of A Christmas Carol (29th, 30th November and 1st December at The
Painswick Centre). Or at least, if your name’s
cuddly Kevin Parker, you do. “Oi! Less of the
cuddly…!” I had forgotten that, as I write this article, cud… The
Kevin Formerly Known As Cuddly, along with his co-director Charles Dorman, is
looking over my shoulder, checking on what I’m writing. This is all because a
few benighted PP members at our recent AGM complained that I ramble on too much
in this column without ever getting to the point. Indeed, there was even a small
minority who thought that I often digressed so far from the point that I forgot
what the point was that I was supposed to be digressing from. As if! Where was I…? The new slim-line Kevin interjects again: “The Farnsdale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen’s Guild
Dramatic Society’s production of A Christmas Carol on 29th, 30th November and
1st December at The Painswick Centre.” He’s nothing if not persistent. Sticking doggedly to the
point, Charles chips in to tell me how the production is shaping up. “We’ve had the auditions, which were very well
supported with lots of new faces, and we’ve got a really strong cast.” “And the new faces, did they include these Farnsdale
Avenue women?” I am determined to get to the bottom of this Farnsdale Avenue
woman mystery. “Who are they exactly? Where did they spring from?” “The Farnsdale Avenue women are imaginary!” says
Charles, by way of explanation. “The Farnsdale Avenue Housing Estate
Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society is an imaginary group of would-be
thespians who put on a really hilarious, calamitous production of A Christmas
Carol.” “So, you’ve got an
imaginary cast, then? That sounds like an interesting approach…” “Let me make it crystal clear for you,” says Kevin
wearily, “You have to imagine that it's amateurs playing amateurs playing A
Christmas Carol not amateurs playing A Christmas Carol, if you see what I
mean.” Charles continues, “It’s a satire, a spoof, a send up
of all that can go wrong with amateur dramatics. For example, Marley’s ghost
comes in and…” At this point, they both collapse into a quivering mass of
mirth as they try to describe a side-splitting visual gag, which soon has me
rolling around the floor clutching my sides with uncontrollable guffaws. I would like to share all this hilarity with you but every
time I try to type it, the mere thought sets off a fit of chuckles so violent
that I can’t control my fingers on the keyboard… qwwwwwertyuiopppglkuews…
Oh dear me…! Just take my word for it: this production threatens to be
dangerously funny! I’ll update you all next month, by which time, hopefully,
someone will have thought up a snappier title than, The Farnsdale Avenue Housing
Estate Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society’s production of A Christmas
Carol. Jack Burgess, Painswick Players |
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