Paisley's Journal April 5, 2002

The Adventures of Paisley Blue This is the first day I've been back to work in so long that I almost feel like a stranger. There are new faces. I have a new office chair. Everything in my cube has been moved around. Heck, there are even pink M&M's in the vending machine. That's how much things have changed! The good news is that I am going to get paid for the entire two weeks I was gone. The bad news is that it takes every drop of sick pay, catastrophic illness pay, and most of my vacation time to accomplish it. A year's worth of saving vacation gone with just two mini-strokes. Damn! I had really wanted to go see my family this summer. Well, maybe I'll get to for a few days. Also, I was hoping to travel with Mechanic a little bit as we work on our project (the one we got good news on yesterday) but now I don't know if I'll be able to afford it. Hmmm... where there's a will, there's a way! This morning was pretty rough. I felt very disoriented, confused, and continually questioned why I was trying to do this. Why was I pushing myself so hard? Well, as the day wore on, I realized it's because I really do enjoy this job and didn't even realize how much I missed it. By the end of the afternoon, I was trying to talk myself into working 2 or 3 hours of overtime... I just didn't want to leave! However, I know that I should not push myself, and all my coworkers would be upset, not to mention the other people in my life who love me. So I am doing the responsible thing and not putting in any extra hours. I am so tempted to come in to work over the weekend but I know I cannot... not yet. So in the meantime, I plan to enjoy my weekend and look forward to returning to work on Monday morning. How many other people in this country can say they look forward to Monday mornings that much? LOL I am in a much better mood... not nearly as gloomy and depressed as yesterday. If only I could hold onto it... I'm going to give it my best shot. ~Paisley Blue

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