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October 5, 2002
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The Adventures of Paisley Blue

This last week has been supremely busy for me. For starters I have taken Mechanic to a dental clinic on an emergency walk-in basis three days - Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. I believe we have found the cause of his unexplained fever.

He has a failed root canal that has caused him so much pain, that he describes it on a scale of one to ten as being a 25. It hurts worse than the spinal tap they gave him in the hospital, even worse than the time when his appendix ruptured. I've heard those are both very painful events, so his description of it earned my respect for his ability to handle pain.

I am sure if it were me, I'd be screaming and hollering something awful. The dentists gave him very powerful pain medication, and antibiotics, to treat the infection in this tooth. They won't be able to do anything until the infection is cleared up. I don't know if they will be able to save his tooth, but of course, we both hope they can. He has an appointment Monday morning and then we shall see.

Thursday was Mechanic's 27th birthday and he spent it under the influence of narcotic painkillers, at home, miserable. I had bought him a couple small gifts and a card to try and cheer him up and let him know that his special day was not forgotten.

The big thing that we were both looking forward to was last night's opening of Red Dragon, the prequel to Silence of the Lambs. I had noticed that it was playing at the Cinerama, the fancy-pants theater owned by Paul Allen, and within walking distance from our home. The movie was good and we had fun. Sometimes you just have to go have fun. I look at it as a combined birthday present to him and me... since my birthday is coming up, too.

Looking for an apartment has been an exercise in disappointment and futility. We are now looking at houses for sale, hoping to find something that fits all our requirements. It's amazing to me when he shows me on the mortgage calculator that we can purchase a home and pay significantly less than we do now for rent. Of course, what we pay now is outrageous so I suppose it shouldn't be that amazing.

This evening I received a telephone call from my first husband, who I have decided to nickname Rex. Everytime we talk my heart smiles. Maybe in the past it just wasn't the right time or something... but the thought of being with him again makes me happy. We have so much fun just talking... we never run out of things to say, which will undoubtedly show up on his next phone bill. He lives in Ohio, and we have not physically seen each other in about eight years.

He called me because he knew I couldn't call him even if I wanted to -- and it was his 43rd birthday. Want to know why I call him Rex? It's been a joke between us since I was 16-years-old that he looks like a Tyranosaurus Rex. Many years ago, he even tacked Rex onto his first name to make a radio personality moniker.

It was his dream to be a dee-jay on the radio, spinning out tunes or even doing a Top 40 countdown like Casey Kasem. He went to school for it back in the mid-80's but he never did get a job doing it. The things he learned has stood him well, though, in the other jobs he has done since then.

Rex and I were married for five years... and there are a lot of good memories. I'm sure over time I will be filling this journal with some recollections. For now, though, I am interested in how this will play out in the here and now. He has actively tried to win me back since 1993... and now nine years later I'm ready to say yes. In all that time, we never stopped communicating, and we never stopped loving each other.

I know this sounds kinda weird. Even my family has wondered over the years why we split up, and why we didn't get back together. It's a long story.

It will be quite a while until Rex and I get to the point when we will marry again. For starters, I'm still married to CB. Rex and I have also decided that Seattle will be our home, because this is where my career is, and I love this city. We have always enjoyed living in big cities, and I think he'll like it here. So my plans to find another home, with Mechanic, have not changed. I have talked with both of the men in my life about the three of us living together.

As long as the two of them get along - which I am sure they will - it'll all work out. Three Librans living in the same household, with a desire for peace, beauty and harmony, should do well together. In addition, knowing the personalities of both of these men, I am very confident that they will get along, if not become friends.

Work went really well this week. I got lots of positive feedback on projects I worked on, and there was a lot of laughter in the office, too. I fully plan to make the most of this weekend, though, and relax. By the time Friday afternoon rolls around, I am tired and ready for a rest.

On a sad note, someone close to Mechanic and I became homeless on Thursday. She was living in the home of a family friend. His girlfriend returned to town after a lengthy absence and our friend was unceremoniously asked to leave. We have invited her to stay with us, but I don't believe she wants to, for her own reasons. However, she will be coming by to take showers and stuff.

Thursday was also the day of the kick off of the United Way campaign at work. For a couple weeks there will be interesting and fun activities designed to encourage us to pledge a donation from our paychecks. The kick off that morning as at the Columbia Tower Club. It is located on the 76th floor of the Columbia Tower, the tallest building in Seattle.

This very exclusive location was made available to us through the generosity of one of the founding members of that club. Because it was a breakfast, we did not have a long line of forks sitting at the side of our plates. Still, it was pretty hoity-toity. The bathroom was even an experience. Too bad it was a foggy day and it interfered with our view of the city.

We arrived to a large room full of beautifully-set tables. On each table were the settings, coffee, ice water, and a plate of pastries. As we watched the program, we were all served a pancake, two slices of bacon, scrambled eggs, cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple, and a strawberry. Our CEO addressed us, and a couple of other people. I had brought the digital camera from the office and took photos which I will post on our intranet next week.

The campaign committee had worked hard to prepare for this event. One of the things they did was make a little movie, based on the Lord of the Rings movie. Different staff members dressed up as the main characters in that movie, and it the dialogue was changed to reflect a quest for campaign donations. It was very well done for the budget they had to work with. I liked it so much I got on the list to get a VHS copy when they are made.

In this economy, it hurts a little to donate part of my paycheck. Sometimes I feel like charity starts at home, and I really could use that money. On the other hand, though, I have been a recipient of services that are funded by the United Way. I have read in the newspaper about how the food banks have fewer donations, about how some smaller agencies have had to lay off workers or even shut their doors. I am fortunate and blessed to have the good job I have, and so no matter how much I finally decide to give, I know I will sign up... again.

Last year I signed up to donate a certain percentage of my paycheck. I'll do it again. It's a way that I can help my community, which is something that makes me feel good inside.

Today I am really feeling a lot of gratitude for the things I have... perhaps because there are things I am losing due to the downturn of my financial situation. Perhaps because I know others who do not have as much as I do. I pass by homeless people everyday on the street. Even when I struggle to put together a meal, I realize that I have more than some. In the two years I have lived in Seattle, I have always had a bed to sleep in. I have survived. However, I couldn't have done it without others' help at various times... so I am grateful... and happy.

~Paisley Blue



A woman of grace, of beauty, confident in her worth.

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