Today is my baby brother's birthday. Happy Birthday, bro, wherever you are rolling along America's roads. He is a long-haul truck driver and I miss him. We used to have wonderful conversations about everything from philosophy to quantum physics. We also used to have fun just hanging out and partying in the carefree days before he got married.

There is a new person in my life and I have chosen a nickname for him. He will be called Lancelot here in my journal. We met in a wonderful way. He came across my profile on Yahoo, and checked out this website. After reading several entries about me, he decided that he wanted to get to know me. His initial email to me was so sweet, introducing himself and telling me wonderful things, such as "If life is to be lived for the here and now, I would love to know what it is you truly want, that until now you have not had or thought might not be possible to have...."



It's not everyday that you meet a gentleman. He has been so in every sense of the word. When I was comfortable with the idea, we met in person. We have gone out a handful of times, talked, exchanged ideas and dreams, and found that we have lots to talk about together. I feel very safe and secure in his presence.

I want to share something that I think is precious and funny, though. Our initial meeting was in a bar close to my apartment. We made the arrangements of where and when to meet. Then I called Mechanic and told him that I was meeting that guy who had been emailing me.

When I told Mechanic where we were going to meet, his comment was, "You're meeting him in a gay bar? Did you tell him it was a gay bar?" "Well, no," I answered. "I forgot to mention that."

Lancelot was cool with it, though. We sat and talked for about an hour. When he walked in I couldn't believe how good looking he was. I kept thinking to myself, is he going to like me? Wow.

I found it very heart-warming that Mechanic and Michael both wanted to be in the bar with me when I met Lancelot. They are so protective and wanted to make sure I was okay. I really appreciate how much they care about me.

Sure enough, Lancelot wondered if they were somewhere nearby... and if I had sat at a back table where his back would be to the room so that someone could thwack him with a pool stick if I gave the signal. I laughed and reassured him that I did not have any such arrangements. However, I did think it was funny that he thought that Mechanic and Michael might be there.

Well, that was a few weeks ago, and things have gone really well between us. He has even met Mechanic and Michael, and from what I can tell, they get along pretty good. I know that my roommates think he's okay. That's a good thing. :-)

I presented him with the idea of calling him Lancelot in my journal, and he liked it. Its just that I had reached the point where he is an important part of my life and it was only natural that I would want to mention him here. One of the main purposes of this journal is to remember the things that happen in my life... and I certainly want to remember the wonderful memories that we are building.

On the homefront, a little note was shoved underneath the doors of all the apartments in the building. Someone has been ringing the landlady's doorbell at 3 and 4 in the morning, and in response to that, she informed everyone that cameras are going to be installed. Well, since I have a few more people in the apartment than allowed on the lease, that could introduce a negative kink into our lives. Michael is telling me to not stress over it, and in reality, I am not sure whether there will really be cameras installed. After all, the owner seems loathe to pay for remodeling and paint in the hallways, and cameras would be a big expense.

At work, I am doing wonderful. The retreat was a success and I received several thank you notes afterwards. My supervisor wrote "You are a star." That really made my day. Of course, now that the retreat is over, things are not slowing down. They keep going at the breakneck speed they were always at... but its challenging and fun and I still love my job. That's not something to take lightly.

I am really happy right now. Tonight I am filled with a calm peace that seems to be rare in today's world, especially in light of the war that started last week. I'm going to savor this feeling for all its worth.

~Paisley Blue