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December
9, 2000
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The Adventures of Paisley
Blue
My attitude has improved over the last couple of
days, and I am feeling happier inside. CB was home for a
couple of days at least, and we enjoyed each other's company
immensely. There is no doubt in my mind that I am madly,
deeply in love with him, and want to be with him for many
years. Last night I attended the theater again, this time to
see an interpretive style dance called Streb. Later in the
evening, after sharing a couple drinks with the manager and
his friends, I had an encounter with a man who is very
attracted to me. I am rather proud of how I handled the
situation.
CB has gone again, this time out of state,
as part of his job. He has been so very attentive and
affectionate to me of late that I was very sad to see him
leave. We had a long talk that cleared things up for me a bit.
I wish my memory were better, so I could remember when he
tells me about how we went through a similar situation about a
year ago, and survived. In so many ways he is good to me, and
I try my best to be the wife he deserves.
Since I had
tickets to Streb and CB was out of town, I asked a friend to
go with me. The nickname I have given him is Teezer. He has a
great sense of humor and loves to tease people. Far as I can
tell, he has a heart of gold, the kind of person of whom
people would say, "He's a good kid." Teezer met several of my
co-workers and has expressed an interest in applying at
Ticketmaster. Of course, that way he could get his own tickets
to things like Streb. We both agreed we had never seen
anything like it, including the man who dove through plate
glass. Somehow, he didn't seem to cut himself. The front rows
of the audience had been given riot gear armor to protect
their faces. Who could have imagined -- riot gear at the
theater.
After the show we went to McDonald's for a
burger and apple pie, then he escorted me to my bus stop and
waited with me until I safely boarded my bus. I thought that
was incredibly nice of him.
When I returned home, I
didn't feel up to facing the empty room... so I went down to
the manager's apartment. Hmm, he deserves the nickname
Twinkle, and his roommate shall be known as Gael. The manager,
Twinkle, looks like he is brimming full of humor at almost any
situation, like he's got a secret joke he can't wait to share
with you. He has opened his home to a man who has recently
divorced his wife of 14 years, a man who is trying to get on
his feet again, a man who likes to refer to his Gaelic roots
and sometimes reminds me of a chivalrous knight. They had
another friend over, watching True Lies starring
Schwarzenegger. Once invited to stay, I made myself
comfortable and laughed with the rest of them.
We had
all been drinking, and after the movie, Twinkle offered to
show me his artwork. I had seen a watercolor pad hanging on
the wall and asked about it. I believe he was hesitant to show
it to me, because it was all homoerotic art. I assured him I
was very interested. In fact, after seeing his stuff, I feel
like he draws better than I do. He has a very specific style,
and it looks so wonderful that it's hard to believe he
achieved this effect with colored pencils. He told me his
plans for his art and I tried to show my whole-hearted support
and encouragement.
Gael does not care to see the art,
because he is not gay and the images disturb him. Twinkle is
very understanding and does not keep them displayed because of
this. I told Gael that I had drawings that showed women, and
if he would like, I would show some of them to him to help
even out the balance for his brain. Gael very gallantly
offered to walk me home, holding doors open for me, and soon
we were in my room. I showed him several of my drawings, and
he indicated intense approval for my work.
Somewhere
along the way, Gael became interested and aroused not only by
my sensual artwork, but also by me. He said many sweet and
wonderful things to me, but also said he knew I was a married
woman and he would never want to come between my husband and
I. So he pledged his undying friendship and protection, very
much in the way I imagine that a knight would do, and told me
that if I ever needed anything, he would be there for me. When
he left, I locked the door and prepared for bed, thinking how
very lucky I am to inspire these feelings in the men I meet in
my life.
As I wait for sleep to overtake me, though, I
considered the careful advances he'd made, and realized that I
did not want anyone but my husband. The thought of being with
CB makes my knees go weak and sends flashes of electricity
throughout my body. When I think of CB's hands caressing me I
feel all tingly and warm. No offense meant to anyone else, but
I miss my husband and it is him whom I want to have hold me,
kiss me, seduce me, and embrace me.
This morning, I
feel the same way. I think sometimes CB is afraid I won't want
to stay with him... for whatever reasons... but all I want is
to be by his side. What a wonderful gift for the day, to
acknowledge and reaffirm my devotion to my husband.
Darling, I love you.
~Paisley
Blue | | |
