Paisley's "Do-It-Yourself" Wedding Kit

Paisley's Do-It-Yourself
Wedding Kit - First Things First!

You're getting married! Congratulations. Now... are things moving quickly since you've announced that you are engaged? Finding the excitement a bit overwhelming? Running just to stand still?

Okay. Let's just get ahold of ourselves, here. Once you know what the first few important things are done, getting married is so much easier to enjoy (there's a reason why the term 'blushing bride' exists). You might even find yourself relaxing a bit, too! Don't worry about getting too many things done at the beginning because you think you won't have anything to do as the date gets closer... that's not going to happen. There's always changes in plans, things to wrap or bake, and upset family and friends to deal with. So let's get started.

First...
Sit down. I mean it. Sit down away from the television, phone, and radio (put the cat out if necessary). Grab your favourite pen and the new stationary you are dying to break in. Think about when you first heard the story about Cinderella.. the magic and beauty of being swept off your feet by a handsome prince... the fantasy of being a happily-ever-after princess... now, sigh deeply... now, hit your head against the wall until that vision goes away. Sure, a little bit of fairy tale-dom is bound to happen during your wedding, but it's not likely to happen during the planning of it or exactly as you expect. You are much better off knowing this now.

Take that gorgeous stationary and start writing down, in your own style (I hate those books that tell you "make 6 columns and 249 rows, each spaced 4.2mm apart") whatever you feel, at the present time, is most important to you about the wedding. Want dazzling photographs and professional videos? Write it down. Indifferent about flowers, but adamant that you have a church wedding? Note it. Want to place restrictions on how many guests to invite? You know the drill.

Now take this sheet, and any other ideas you have in mind (no flower girl, casual dressing, scented candles at the reception) and insist your fiance[e] discuss alllllll these issues with you. Make sure that you attempt to get everything out while you can, because weddings aren't a great time to have surprises sprung upon you. Make notes like mad. Leave everything 'open' (ie. don't get into a fight and call off the wedding - let each other know that you are willing to discuss any other ideas that come up later on - and mean it).

Second...
The next thing to do is to take a long, hard look at your list. How can you go about making this all happen? Who is going to pay for what? If you are lucky (or cursed - depending on the circumstances) to have someone else paying the tab, then this is pretty much taken care of. If you and your fiance[e] are paying, can you afford what you've brainstormed? To make sure, call around to different florists, caterers, halls, etc. and get a few quotes. This quote list will also come in handy if you have to let the paying party know what it's going to cost, or if a friend or family member volunteers to contribute to the cost of the wedding. Discuss who will be in charge of what (catering, hall rental, etc.) and make sure the promises to handle each job are sincere.
psssssst... make polite follow-ups with each person who handles the different areas of the wedding...

Third...
Please (pleasepleaseplease) remember to always be open to new ideas. Things will definately change between now and then, especially if your engagement is longer than two weeks. Your dress or flower fashion might be suddenly influenced by a friend or family member, or you migh find something dazzling in a magazine or TV show that strikes your fancy. Prepare for the worst, and expect the best... you'll be rewarded every time.

Fourth...
Get a binder and some tape and scissors and a hole punch. Put in some blank lined paper and A-Z separators. Make notes of every little teeny tiny thing you do that is wedding-related and shove it in that binder somehow. Found a photograph from a magazine that shows exactly what bouquet you want? File it under F (flowers) or B (bouquet), depending on how you want it organized. Got an idea for what to give your maid of honour? Scribble it down, draw it, tape in business cards. Consider adding a mini calendar to see how much time is left before the wedding. Carry this binder with you everywhere, and I do mean everywhere (I brought mine to the doctor's office, shopping, basically anywhere outside the house). You never know when inspiration will strike.

Fifth...
Pick your battles carefully. Does it really matter if Mom wants the ring barer to have cuffs on his leiderhosen, and you don't? Stick to your guns, by all means, but let the little things go by if you can. This means choosing the things that are important to you and your fiance[e]... like the fact you don't want to wear lace gloves, or have a cousin that drools in the wedding party. Stay firm but flexible. If you get what I mean.

Sixth...
Take time for yourself! If you've had the worst week of your life, do something pampering or luxurious, or just go to the gym. Re-schedule the garter-fitting for another day.

Seventh...
Get it in writing. Need I say more? Except maybe: Confirm everything a few weeks before the big day. Confirm, confirm, confirm.

Have a few suggestions yourself? Please visit the phone booth for ways to contact me.