What would life be like without a bit of fun? (And to say "a wee bit" would be inappropriate.) I have quite a weakness for
Irish jokes - as well as for Guiness and such - and, while I cannot pour the stout over the Web, I certainly can share my two favourite examples of jokes in the Irish genre. (The prayer for this feast is not forgotten - it is just a little further down the page. Joy comes in many flavours!)
The Irish humour that I like best is that which combines wry wit with a premise of misunderstanding. So ... here are a few good, Catholic examples!
Mike, while in the tavern with some cronies, raised a toast: "To the best years o' me life, spent between the legs o' me wife!" Later, Mike felt a little sheepish about what he'd said, so he told wife Katie that he'd actually toasted her with, "To the best years o' me life, spent in church beside me wife."
Next day, a friend of Katie's, who'd learned of the toast from her own husband, congratulated Katie on the very flattering toast Mike had raised. "Aye, and I wish it were true," sighed Katie, "But really it only happened twice - once before we got married, and once after. And the second time I had to wake him up when it was all over."
Don't be whingeing, now, there's only one more till ye get to the links....
Paddy and Brigid had been keeping company for thirty years, and decided it finally was time to marry. When Paddy went to see the Monsignor to make the wedding arrangements, he admitted that the changes in the Catholic church had left him quite confused, and he didn't know what to do for the ceremony.
"Well, Pat," answered the priest, "You can have the old rite if you want - but it's so cold and formal. Now the new rite has warmth, and love, and real participation. So, if I were you, I'd take the new one." Ever obedient to the clergy, Paddy agreed.
On the day of the wedding, Paddy was driving to the church alone when he got a flat tire. He removed his jacket, tie, and shirt, and rolled his trouser legs to his knees, then fixed the tire. By the time he was finished, he was quite late, and feared poor Brigid would think he'd stood her up after the years of courting. In his haste, though he remembered to fix the rest of his attire, he unwittingly left his trouser legs as they were.
As Paddy rushed into the church, quite breathless, Monsignor called to him, "Paddy, pull down your trousers, now!". Paddy quickly responded, "Father, I'll take the old rite!"
Still game for more? Pour yourself a Guinness, and try these Celtic links.
Saint Patrick's Breastplate
I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward;
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.
Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend or stranger.
I bind unto myself the name,
The strong name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One, the one in Three,
Of whom all nature hath creation;
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word,
Praise to the Lord of my salvation;
Salvation is of Christ the Lord. Amen.
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