OUT OF THE FRYING PAN
---INTO THE FIRE
I’ve just gone through my first two affairs
And compared to others today,
I’m a little old for my first two affairs
Since I won’t be eighteen till the middle of May.
I’m sure it could have been worser,
Though I’m still a little numb,
But I hope this isn’t a precursor
Of things to come.Out of the frying pan, into the fire---
It now seems like some sort of hoax---
Out of the frying pan into the fire---
God has His little jokes.First there was Lynn
As neat as a pin---
So neat that while sex should be fun---
Lynn got more zest
In soon getting dressed
And cleaning up when it was done.
He was a man
So spick and so span
That beside him poor me was all thumbs---
When you were with Lynn,
You never ate in
For Lynn simply could not stand crumbs.
Lynn simply could not stand so many things,
Loving him wasn’t easy---
But if cleanliness is next to godliness,
Lynn would have been
Francis of Assisi.Out of the frying pan, into the fire---
It now seems like some sort of hoax---
Out of the frying pan into the fire---
God has His little jokes.Then there came Bob,
Bob was a slob---
He made Pigpen appear squeaky clean---
Wherever he dwelled
One often beheld
Mold which was turning quite green.
I soon made it clear
For his birthday this year
I would buy him a broom and a brush,
But I knew we were through
While using the loo
Which he'd sometimes forgotten to flush.
When we first met I did not have a hint
So I found that I was expectant---
But in order to adore someone like Bob
You had to have cans
Of disinfectant.Out of the frying pan, into the fire---
It now seems like some sort of hoax---
Out of the frying pan into the fire---
God has His little jokes.
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