From Brazil to St. Helena
Each signor gets his signorina
Without implants or Neutragena---
It's all in their southern climate.

Biologists are realizing
Ubangi lips aren't so surprising---
They get that way through exercising---
It's all in their southern climate.

Living along the green Nile,
Caesar became less senile;
Cleopatra can vouch for that,
She had a special couch for that,
She developed a slouch from that,
Not to mention a pouch from that.

In the waters near Bermuda,
Bathing beauties ask intruder,
"Are you man or barracuda?"
It's all in their southern climate.

                            II

Though the Tower of Pisa's now inclined there,
It stood up straight like the other kind there
Till two lovers once got left behind there
All in their southern climate.

Since Spaniards act the way they oughta,
Every church in each Latin Quarter
Keeps running out of holy water---
It's all in their southern climate.

Look at Miss Thompson, Sadie---
Such an enticing lady!
What that tropical moon would do!
Cruising the beach, she soon would do
A lament like a loon would do---
Only a whole platoon would do.

So pack your bags and come to my lands,
Bid good-bye to the Northern Highlands---
That's just it's name, the Virgin Islands---
Wait till you feel
Wait till you feel
Wait till you feel
That southern climate!

                               III

On the isle once known as Java
Where native men live off nuts and guava,
You've never seen such molten lava---
It's all in their southern climate.

A tourist told me when she stayed there,
She searched for mango preserves that's made there,
And, boy, did she get marmalade there---
It's all in their southern climate.

Look how those Grecian misses
Longed for Narcissus' kisses,
All around him they darted there,
He left them broken-hearted there,
He left them and he departed there,
Do-it-yourself fads started there.

You will find near every mission
Native dancers have such ambition,
They all progress from fifth position---
Wait till you see
Wait till you see
Wait till you see
That southern climate!

                                    IV

In Zambia each chimpanzee there
Never suffers from ennui there,
They've ménage à trois in every tree there,
It's all in their southern climate.

Though English flies are awfully clannish,
The frisky ones have been known to vanish
In search of flies who must be Spanish---
It's all in their southern climate.

Salmon in tropic water
Don't spawn the way they oughta---
In the morning they scheme for it,
They work up so much steam for it,
By afternoon they scream for it,
So they remain downstream for it.

In Ecuador when birds convene there
To prance and strut and parade and preen there,
A bantam cock is never seen there---
Wait till you're in
Wait till you're in
Wait till you're in
That southern climate!